"The Beauty of Discomfort" by Giselle M

 

            “Happiness is not the result of bouncing from one joy to the next... achieving happiness typically involves times of considerable discomfort” (Psychology Today). In order to know what happiness feels like, you have to know what it’s like to be without it as well. But, what is happiness? And more importantly, how do you stay happy? Simply put, there’s no right answer.

Struggling with my mental health conditioned me to believe that there was some sort of “secret formula” to always feeling a sense of joy. That if I do “x” and have  “y”  in my life, I would always be happy. Unfortunately, that’s not how it works.  This is the day I realized something life-changing; happy people don’t become happy, they just are. Like Aristotle once said, “happiness depends upon ourselves.” We make the choice whether to look on the bright side of things or not. Now, I’m not trying to say that if you’re diagnosed with a mental health disorder it’s because you are choosing to not be happy. But, when those moments come in our life- to continue to stay comfortable in our sadness or to choose discomfort- choose the uncomfortable. Those are the times that will eventually lead to our contentment. Back in fall 2020, my mental health was the worst I have ever experienced. Being at a new highschool with everything in the world falling apart, it wasn’t easy. It wasn’t until school started to open up that I saw the light at the end of the tunnel. But even in that moment, I had to make a choice; stay in the place that I was in or choose the uncomfortable reality of the unknown. Thankfully, I chose the latter. Now, I’m not here to say that in every situation it’s that simple, but instead trying to explain that happiness is a choice. You can’t do one thing and suddenly be happy forever, it is a constant choice you have to make.

Recently, I have had to put my dog down. I adopted him eight years ago and practically grew up with him. If you have ever experienced a loss, you know it is not an easy thing to go through. But, once again, I had a choice. I could choose to use this as a gateway to lead me back to where I was in 2020; or, I could take it as a part of life and move forward. Just as Hellen Keller once said, “everything has its wonders, even darkness and silence, and I learn, whatever state I may be in, therein to be content.” This is not to say I shouldn’t have been sad, because feeling our way through emotions is healthy. My point is, I made the choice of how I intended to feel. I didn’t let the promising comfort of sulking in sadness overcome me.

By literal means, happiness is an emotion. But, in reality it’s so much more than that. There’s no right answer on how to define happiness because to each and every one of us, it’s going to look different. But, there is one common factor throughout it all: we have the power to make a choice.