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Monday, September 28, 2020

" Please don't love me" by Nguyen H

Dear my angel, 

I would be a liar if I say that I didn't love the way you look at me like I'm the only one in the world. But you are too beautiful, too pure, too kind for the filthy, dirty me. I never deserve your gentle touches and kind whispers. So I beg of you please don't love me. Please don't love me for I will only hurt you. Please don't love me for I will not be able to love you the way that you deserve to be love.I am too much of a dishonest mess, too abrasive, and too insecure.I can never seem to be able to show my true feelings, constantly having to mask them with a stoic image. And just the moon I never let people see my ugly side. not even those who are close to me. Never will they get to see me honest or vulnerable. So if you're falling in love with me, don't. Because I will never be able to be honest with you, I will never be able to show you my vulnerable side, and I will constantly push you away, keeping you at arm's length, because If ear that if you see my ugly side, you will come to hate me.I don't know how to speak kindly. Even that is an understatement. I'm terrible at speaking kindly to people. My abrasiveness makes the words that leave my mouth to become cold and harsh.So if you're falling in love with me, don't. Because I will only hurt you with my words. I will only be able to break your heart with my cruel spells, when you deserve the kindest of whispers and flowers to bloom in your heart. I will only be able to make droplets fall on your cheeks out of sorrow when you deserve to have them adorned by kisses and blushes.I am unable to leave my negative thoughts behind me. Too caught up in being perfect, and worries about things going wrong. My insecurity will lead me into a spiral of doubts and paranoia. So if you're falling in love with me, don't. Because I can never make you happy with my constant jealousy. I can never make you happy with the constant paranoia that you would leave me. I will go insane with the thought that I'm not good enough for you; and that maybe one day, you realize that I'm too hideous for enchanting you.So please, I beg of you, don't love me. Instead fall in love with someone of your own kind.Please fall in love with someone who can give you words of love that I can't give. Please fall in love with someone that will adorn your cheek with kisses and blushes. Please fall in love with someone who will bring a smile to grace upon those precious lips. Please fall in love with someone who will let flowers bloom in your heart. Please, oh please, fall in love with someone who will be able to love you more than I can ever hope to. Because demons, like myself, are unable to love for we only have greed and selfishness.Our worlds are too different. You, who belong in the light, where the flowers bloom at your footsteps. And I, who wallow in this darkness, where life vanish at my present alone.So please, don't fall in love with me... don't fall in love with darkness...

55 comments:

Anonymous said...

I love how this piece does not necessarily focus on anyone in particular but is very fluid with the reader. Maybe it is one person, or multiple, or no one at all, or everyone who approaches you. I love the use of imagery and also the line "fall in love with someone of your own kind." It is a very powerful statement and resonated with me. Thank you :)
-Isaiah Garza

Amorette Correa said...

Okay, you are now officially my favorite author. This was very beautifully written. I admired the repetition of the line "Please don't love me" and "Please fall in love with someone...". It truly encapsulated the subject's internal struggles with wanting to love someone but also wanting the best for them.

Anonymous said...

I think I read this 3 times! I feel like this is something that a lot of people of all ages can relate to. Many people often feel as though they are not good enough to be in people’s lives, and greatly put themselves down in the process. The part about telling the person you love to go be with someone else was so good!
- Jordyn Stiles

Karis Gold said...

Wow! Nguyen,this is absolutely amazing, I love the constant repetition of the phrase "Please don't love me", then the series of explanations why, this piece was beautifully written, even the title leads into the main idea of the piece, so powerful! At the end, I love how you compared yourself with the ultimate contrast "darkness" it leaves the piece on a suspenseful note. You are a gifted writer!

Anonymous said...

I appreciate the emotional depth of this piece; that you can show raw feeling in your writing is inspiring to read. I like the back and forth of describing why you are not deserving of them and describing instead what they deserve that you cannot give them. That the reader can see the way you put this other person on a pedestal, and can relate to not feeling enough. I especially liked this line, "where the flowers bloom at your footsteps". That you describe them as this being belonging to the light, that makes flowers bloom, then contrast with this image of yourself as darkness, " don't fall in love with darkness...". I like the exaggerations used in this writing, they emphasize the way you view yourself, and the way you view others/ this person. I think a writing like this is brave and admirable, and something I can definitely relate to.

Sereya Abdouch said...

WOW! This is phenomenal! I loved how you described "your angel's" kindness with such light and angelic imagery which made how you described yourself seem even harder and more rough. The flower imagery just added to the beauty that "your angel" embodies and the kindness that she shows the world. This was fantastic!

Kendra Andrews said...

This was truly amazing and you really made a connection to your readers as you left them with this want to read more and more into it. You were very vulnerable in your writing and I feel that so many can connect to this and this was really fantastic from the diction choice to the passionate form of writing. Really good job!

Madelyn Mejia said...

You did a great job and I loved how descriptive you were when it came to describing the speakers thoughts, feelings, and actions. Such as the lines where you spoke of how ones cheeks should be adorned by kisses and blushes. Although this felt somewhat like a tragic monologue, you wrote it so romantically that it keeps you hooked to see if the speakers thoughts may change. Really enjoyed it :)!

Anonymous said...

Wow, I am so speechless... Nguyen this was so beautiful. I connected to your writing piece on such a different level. I've gone through the heartbreaks but this just made me look at it all in such a different way. I totally agree with the comments from above.. YOU DESERVE to be the author of the year. Still so lost of my words, this was just so beautiful.

Sharleen Nunez said...

Oh My Goodness. You did such an amazing job, I literally got chills reading this. I loved the title, I loved the repetition in your writing, I just loved everything about your blog. Just amazing. You're such a gifted writer!!

Richelle Mendoza said...

I really loved your use of repetition of "please don't love me", it really shows how desperate you are to get your point across. The poem shows how you only see the bad sides of yourself and never the good sides, I believe this can relate to a lot of people. I hope one day, you'll be able to see the good sides of yourself and learn to be more confident, because YOU are good enough.

Zhenwei Gao said...

Hi nguyen, thanks for sharing your most personal and vulnerable thoughts with everyone. It was very beautifully written, but what is more important to me is: are you still having the same thoughts and perception about yourself? I am sure we all hated our personalities for one point or another in our lives. No one is perfect but no one is also 100% flawed. From your writing, I don't see you as an unkind person to others, but rather someone who is honest and truthful to herself, always looking for improvements, and maybe even a bit too abrasive on herself. I am happy that you can use your writing as your emotional outlets!

- Zhenwei Gao

Isaiah Garza said...

I love your your imagery contrasting love and what you believe you see in yourself. It was a beautiful piece the way that you expressed your want to simply not hurt anyone, wheras you think you might unintentionally. A line that hit me hard was "fall in love with someone of your own kind." It really showed just how different you feel from them. But also I liked how this piece could be about one person, multiple, no one in specific, or the whole world. It's very up to the reader. Good Job :)

Paulina Jimenez said...

WOW! When I finished reading this, there were actual tears in my eyes. That was beyond beautiful, and it genuinely spoke to me on such a personal level. The raw emotions in your writing honestly was beyond impactful, and not only that, it relates to so many people. I feel like at our age, we feel this way towards love. We are at the age of heartbreak and lessons, and what you managed to write summed up everyone's feelings that we were incapable of summing up ourselves. Great job.

Raymund Lillo said...

This was definitely an interesting piece of work! I enjoyed the contrast between the speaker and the "angle" of the letter. I feel that many can relate to this letter and understand the point of view the speaker has. We as the reader can definitely feel the heartbreak and emotion pouring out of this narrative. For most cases I am not one for drama but I enjoyed this piece simply due to the great portrayal of emotion and engagingness of the letter as a whole.

Emily Brown said...

You did such an amazing job. I loved how you talked about the insecurity of not being enough, and comparing yourself to darkness. I definitely feel like your writing can relate to many people our age because of the constant fight of being enough not only for someone we love but for ourselves. I also think it was beautiful how you illustrated the struggle and pain of building a wall and not letting anyone see your vulnerable side.

Jaeden Alo said...

This was a true piece of art! Insecurities are in everyone and this piece can relate to so many. I have dealt with not being good enough for the ones I love as well, and it is definitely a tough and dark sense of mind. As a reader, I can feel your emotions and soul pouring out into this piece with the imagery and contrast you provided. Thank you for writing such an amazing piece of art!

Anonymous said...

this was such a good piece I love how you said that you were unable to love but you can clearly see that you love them because you wouldn't want to protect them in the first place, this really hits home.
-Leah Thompson

Anonymous said...

This was such an interesting piece to read because I feel like a lot of people deem themselves as unworthy of being in the company with other people and this examined just that. Without the specification of a specific person it allows us to put ourselves or someone else in that place. Great illustration! -Benjamin Galaz Jr. P.2

Kristiana Ortiz said...

I loved reading your piece! Your use of imagery and repetition worked together so well and I could truly feel the emotion. I also like how you explored the mind and its vulnerabilities as well as how difficult it can be to make selfless decisions.

Kaitlyn Bills said...

This is absolutely beautiful! So many people feel this way and aren't able to be vulnerable or find the right words to really create the picture they are trying to paint. I love how the audience is left in the dark about who the speaker is until the end because it has a greater impact than if it were put at the beginning. My favorite line: "...don't fall in love with darkness..." *Chef's kiss* Well done!

Lydia Brown said...

Wowwww.... I am at a lost for words, I am so glad that I came upon your blog Nguyen . Your story brought tears to my eyes, such a beautiful written piece. I related to this on so many different levels and I am still going through this because I know that this person loves me and I love them, but they do not want me to love them because they say that I will end up getting hurt. Everything that was written really made me think maybe me and that person are from two different worlds. This is by far my favorite one and the way you used imagery to contrast love was definitely amazing.

Elyana Steih said...

Loved this piece; your descriptive diction of feelings and actions really enchanted the reader. Your writing truly shows a side of life all people have endured and you made it so personal, yet applicable to everyone. Great work !

Enrico Del Rosario said...

Nguyen. I don't give you permission to move me with your words again. You put me in a situation where I wanted to continue reading on, yet, like all great things, it had to come to an end :( I spent the past 15 minutes basking in the presence of this beautiful piece of art. The best part is that I don't even know what kind of writing this was; whether it was a personal narrative, a flash fiction, or whatever it may be, the mysterious element did nothing but added to the excellence factor! Thank you :)

Diego Kontorovsky said...

What a beautiful read! So many people can relate to insecurities and they are so common many people forget that, anyone who reads this piece can immediately relate and it does such a good example of highlighting the feelings you can get from feeling insecure about yourself. You are so brave thank you for sharing!

Melissa Torres said...

This was so sad yet beautiful. I'm sure everyone here has felt this feeling of not being enough for someone. This really shows the demons in all of our minds. Great job portraying our inner struggles!

Alex Calonge said...

This was truly something incredible! The repetition and opposing imagery of light and dark, angels and demons, "cruel spells" and "kindest of whispers and flowers" helped in trying to truly understand the person's internal conflict. The fluidness and detail showed the immense emotion put into this. Thank you for creating and sharing this masterpiece!

Anonymous said...

This piece was excellent. I really liked the way in which you wrote from a different perspective. When the main charachter devalued herself to the point of callng herself a demon it brought a totally new point of view. This passage potrayed a person's inner struggles they constantly face; in conclusion this was a very good passage.

-Eniife Oluwadara

Nicole Lillie said...

I loved this writing so much! I read this the other night but my comment seems not to have been saved. I was seriously struggling with my own emotions that night, and I related to your work so much! The feeling of not being enough for the people you care about is an extremely debilitating emotion that comes with lots of pain. You perfectly portrayed this through the emotional tone and imagery. The contrast between good and evil was extremely significant in getting your point across, and you did so excellently! The repetition of the title throughout the piece was also a great addition to your article and really brought your feelings across to the reader. Seriously Well Done!
- Nicole Lillie

Joelle Lock said...

This is very powerful! I love how you subtly contrasted the depiction of yourself as a “demon” with the greeting, which depicts whomever you are pleading with as an “angel.” The poem felt almost like a stream of consciousness, which made it feel more genuine. I loved your writing so much! :)

Jessica Huang said...

Ahhhhh! This is too relatable. Wonderful use of rhetorical devices, so poetic, and so moving!

Jessica Huang

Anonymous said...

Anastasia Lamiy

This piece is the definition of Art. I felt so much of it I started to tear up. I love the expressivness and the diction used here. The contrast between the bight happy side and the dark sad side is so visible and it brings out the tone of this text! It is really deep and beautiful. Great Piece, Nguyen!

Anonymous said...

Oh man, that one hit hard. Not only was the message of self-doubt too relatable throughout the whole thing, the repetition you put in there made me very engaged and desperate to read on, and I never saw that ending coming. We need more writing like this in the world, great job.
-Mark Jensen

Anonymous said...

This piece was definitely written WITH PASSION. Outstanding job!! The story telling of this piece is extremely detailed with points of views I never thought of myself. The speaker is deeply honest with herself, but know she is WORTHY of her angel!!! The quote "Our worlds are too different." tell me that these two individuals should push to be together no matter the circumstances because different is not bad!! (Kaitlin Dalisay)

Charmaine Luciano said...

This is amazing! I really like how you expressed your emotions and your use of repetition. This piece of work is so vulnerable and I feel that the speaker sharing their inner conflicts is relatable as well.

Anonymous said...

Hi Nguyen! This piece was utterly moving. The explicit vulnerability of the speaker and their inherent awareness of their own faults really invoked a strong sense of emotion within the reader. Your repetition of the word "please" added to the desperation felt by the speaker, your use of language made me feel like I was the one thinking these things. Overall, this was so beautifully written! (Arabella Bautista)

Anonymous said...

WOW! This literally gave me chills. You made this piece so beautifly poetic, yet relatable to grab everyone's attention! The repetition really gives us the feeling of anxiety and overthinking. When I first read this, I thought of the speaker laying in the bed late at night, going through these thoughts in their head. Very, VERY relatable!

(Laura Clark)

Anonymous said...

This was amazing! The inner depth of the character was very well written and every emotion was clearly seen. It was also very relatable seeing that we all kind of see ourselves as self destructive. The emotion in this poem was unbelievable and can be felt.
-marwa jamily

Anonymous said...

This was amazing! The inner depth of the character was very well written and every emotion was clearly seen. It was also very relatable seeing that we all kind of see ourselves as self destructive. The emotion in this poem was unbelievable and can be felt.
-marwa jamily

Anonymous said...

This was amazing! The inner depth of the character was very well written and every emotion was clearly seen. It was also very relatable seeing that we all kind of see ourselves as self destructive. The emotion in this poem was unbelievable and can be felt.
-marwa jamily

Anonymous said...

This was amazing! The inner depth of the character was very well written and every emotion was clearly seen. It was also very relatable seeing that we all kind of see ourselves as self destructive. The emotion in this poem was unbelievable and can be felt.
-marwa jamily

marwa jamily said...

This is amazing! The writing has so much emotion behind it and is so well written. As a reader, I can feel myself in the position of the narrator and the point is so clear. The emotions hit you at every angle and you are able to feel everything. The perspective makes it even greater as one can see him/herself going through that as well.
-Marwa Jamily

marwa jamily said...

This is amazing! The writing has so much emotion behind it and is so well written. As a reader, I can feel myself in the position of the narrator and the point is so clear. The emotions hit you at every angle and you are able to feel everything. The perspective makes it even greater as one can see him/herself going through that as well.
-Marwa Jamily

marwa jamily said...

This is amazing! The writing has so much emotion behind it and is so well written. As a reader, I can feel myself in the position of the narrator and the point is so clear. The emotions hit you at every angle and you are able to feel everything. The perspective makes it even greater as one can see him/herself going through that as well.
-Marwa Jamily

Anonymous said...

This is amazing! The writing has so much emotion behind it and is so well written. As a reader, I can feel myself in the position of the narrator and the point is so clear. The emotions hit you at every angle and you are able to feel everything. The perspective makes it even greater as one can see him/herself going through that as well.
-Marwa Jamily

Unknown said...

This is a beautiful, relatable piece of writing. I love how you made comparisons with yourself and many other things, like the moon, demons, and darkness. You've always been good at putting your emotions into words since middle school! Great job!

Aries Tacderan

Michelle Williamson said...

This writing was extremely vulnerable and I think it was very brave of you to write something like that. The style was very nice and I enjoyed how you employed repetition throughout the piece as it made it very entertaining and easy to read. Also, your imagery and description was so beautiful and it literally painted an image within my mind as I read your writing. While this has nothing to do with your writing in question, but more to do with yourself, I hope the speaker of the poem doesn’t directly correlate with you because I am positive there is someone out there who will fall in love with you, flaws included. Nobody is perfect, and there will always be someone there to love you.

Dianna Villasenor said...

Your piece was amazing, Nguyen! The tone and emotion put into the work was an experience, especially through the added figurative language about the moon. The writing, and flow of it, was beautiful (you can tell much effort was put into this). The sensory and visual imagery portrayed and contained the piece really added to the emotion sought throughout. An amazing job!
-Dianna Villasenor

Michaiah Stanford said...

I loved how you demonstrated light and dark imagery in contrasting the different personalities. That one loves another so much that they wish that they could be with someone else rather than themselves because they feel as they are never good enough. The repetition is used when the speaker says please don't love me reminds me how much the character truly feels like the one they love deserves everything they can’t provide. I thought this was beautifully written.

-Michaiah Stanford

Oluwaseyi Alli said...

Hi I love love love this piece !! It's very emotional and moving wow who broke your heart:(. Seriously though I truly enjoyed reading this thank you for writing this and sharing something we can all relate to !!
-Seyi Alli

Anonymous said...

Wow this writing is so amazing. I loved how you were able to put your emotions into words that many people are able to relate to. I love how you contrasted demons and angels to create an amazing piece. Great job!

Anonymous said...

Savannah Fitz

This is so incredibly powerful! Not only that, but it is extremely relateble for peoplle of all generations. I love emotions given off by the poem. I love how vulnerable this piece is. It was absolutely wonderful.

Unknown said...

This piece is really well done!! I loved the angel and demon motif you used, and I can't help but think that it relates to how we can perceive ourselves as a demon, unworthy to love someone who we see as perfect. The themes in this writing really resonated with me, and I loved the repetition throughout the piece, which really captured how the speaker feels afraid of ruining everything with the angel. Bravo!! - Janelle De Dios

Eiana Dugang said...

This piece reflected what goes through my head currently. I love how it does not specifically towards anyone and its almost like you can say this to yourself. I interpretted this piece through the lens of self-love. It is really hard trying to get out of the mindset that someone like me, someone filled dith darkness and pain, does not deserve love. Our mind lies to us and persuades us that we should not let anyone in because we will just hurt them... we are scared of the uncertainty of the future and our actions so we try to end it before it starts. I love the repitition in your writing because it really reflects the emotions really well. (Eiana Dugang)

Lauren Perez said...

I loved this piece a lot, it really caught my attention! I really like how broad the definition of words are and I love how you used words to contradict others in the beginning. I feel as if I can relate to the emotions given in this piece. - Lauren Perez