Birthdays... Only come once a year they do. The one day out of the whole year that’s supposed to be yours. A day that’s meant solely to celebrate you and your existence in this world. Yet it’s a day I’ve grown to loathe that’s brought me more anxiety and sadness as each one passes. Another year of my life gone in what feels like a second, flashing like a camera right before my eyes. Yet I think to myself, what do I have to show for it? I’m turning 17 this year but nothing feels different other than the fact that I now have a new number to answer specific questions with. Mother has decided to throw me a party even though I really didn’t want one, but the look of excitement on her face when she threw the idea out to me left me unable to reject her.So here we are, Mother with a giant smile plastered on her face welcoming her guests, Father in the back hanging out with whoever has already arrived, Brother in the living room being coddled by grandparents, and I left to figure out where to spend the rest of the evening without bothering anyone. I wish this day was over. When the guests attempt to conversate with me I promise I try my best to engage, but it eventually becomes too difficult and tiresome. I’m not trying to be rude and it’s not that I dislike you, but I dislike the setting. Are your questions even genuine? Or do you pity my lonesome being because this day is supposed to be all about me and you feel guilty if you don’t contribute? I wish this day was over. I don’t want to seem ungrateful so I’m trying to be upbeat like Mother when a guest is near. But I must not be doing a very convincing job because each time I get the same smile. A soft, affiliative one that I’m sure is done out of politeness. Would everyone act this way any other day out of the year towards me? I’m beginning to get more tired and the dark cloud is slipping through. I wish this day was over. I just have to endure a couple more hours, then everyone will leave. The time will reach midnight and I’ll be able to peacefully close my eyes knowing I have more time to make things different before the next one. Just a few more hours until I have 365 more days to make something worthwhile happen so that the next one won’t feel so troublesome. I wish this day were over.Everyone’s busy and preoccupied outside at the moment so I’m finally granted some time alone.I’m craving something cheesy but that’s not on the menu for today’s party so I’ll have to be quick so as not to offend Mother and Father’s efforts on dinner. A grilled cheese should be sufficient, quick and easy. Get the cheese, the bread, the butter, and the pan. Turn on the stove and throw everything in. Done. I feel like I can now put up my own front a little while longeragain. I wish this day were over. To the right, in the corner of the entryway is the small table Mother set up for the guests to place their gifts for me. I’m grateful no doubt, but I sincerely wish they hadn’t. Thankfully Mother agreed this year that she wouldn’t make me open them alli n front of her guests, for I believe she too feared I wouldn’t give sufficient reactions to each and every one. Even if I really meant to. All I have left to get through is that dreaded song that forces everybody’s eyes your way as a cake is placed before you and a candle is lit. A candle that expects a wish to be made as it’s blown out, it’s smoke carrying your thoughts out to the universe. I wish this day were over. Oh no... Mother is giving me that knowing glance. The time has come. If I make it past this everything will be over. I notice a strange smell and my head’s begun to hurt, but I can’t run now because it’s already too late. Father gathers everyone inside to join me as Mother holds my cake. They start the song, she places the dessert, and I’m ready to make my wish. Light it already please, for this one wish I wish every year and I need it to come true. Little birthday candle grant me this thing and this one thing only: that my birthday be over and I at peace...
As they had lit the young girl’s candle, on the last line of the song, her birthday wish came true. This would be the last celebration she’d have, last song sung to her, last wish she’d ever make, and last birthday she’d ever get to celebrate. That one little candle would be the last she ever saw. And she hadn’t got the chance to properly blow it out.
An hour later...
“Officer Brady! There you are, you're late!”
“Sorry! I got caught up in traffic but I’m here now,” the arriving officer then turned to the tragic scene before him, “Geez, there hasn’t been an incident like this in ages. What happened here Detective?”
“A gas explosion, apparently no survivors. From what’s left of them it appears everyone was gathered in the one area we assume the match was lit.”
“Was it mass suicide then? What did the firefighters find?”
“No, looks like it was an unfortunate accident. We asked around the neighborhood, luckily noone else besides those who were inside got hurt, but apparently there was a birthday party happening. From what we got, the family was celebrating their daughter’s 17th.”
“That’s horrible. Were we able to find out how the explosion happened? Like what caused it?”
“Well among the rubble there was a burnt pan with what smelled like cheese on it. So we’re inferring that someone must have made something to eat and forgot to turn off the stove completely, hence the gas leak. Since it was a birthday party and everyone appeared to be gathered in one area, it was most likely time for the birthday cake.”
“So it was the lighting of the candle then wasn’t it?” the officer replied glumly while the detective nodded in response, “a tragic last wish don’t you think?”
“A tragic one indeed.”
The End
38 comments:
OMG! I LOVE the plot twist at the end. In the beginning I believed that you truly didn't enjoy celebrating your birthday in a big social gathering, which I can relate to because I hate when all the attention on me. But was this a true story? If not, you have a very creative mind. I also enjoyed the repetition of "I wish the day were over" because it defined the the theme.
My word! That was such a plot twist, I was not expecting it to be this person's last birthday, but it seemed like this short story sent out the message to appreciate every year, whether or not feels monotonous or if people's well wishes are disingenuous. Wow, so many messages in one short story, very nicely written, I love the first person perspective!
This was so beautifully written and truly embodied this idea of pulling your audience in and creating this plot twist no one saw coming. This was so creative with the way in which you wrote it, where in a way the audience did not see it even coming. Really well done!!
I loved the ending, I totally did not expect that. In the beginning of the story, I agreed with the girl because I don't like celebrating my birthday either, but then at the end, I changed my opinion. Your story taught me to enjoy my birthdays because you'll never know when it'll be your last. Thanks for teaching me something new!
OH WOW I love the plot twist and the reminder that you really should be careful of what you wish for! this is amazing, I can totally relate to the speaker's feeling of not wanting to celebrate birthday because I also share the same sentiment.
I definitely was not expecting the ending at all! Throughout the entire first part of the story I was thinking about how much I can relate to despising birthdays because even thinking about my birthday literally gives me so much anxiety. However the ending of the the story changed my entire perspective about it.
Beautiful work Mady! You really captured the feelings of your characters perfectly. The grilled cheese pan that ultimately led to her wish. Wow just wow! Your plot twist was perfect for your story.
Good job Mady! You have amazing story telling skills. YOu really capture the feelings of your characters. While reading, I didn't pay attention to the grilled cheese pan at all and it ultimately lead to their demise. Wow. The plot twist blew me away, but at least she got what she wished for. Amazing.
-Ashley Inocencio (p.1)
This story was so amazing because of the way it was written and the plot twist at the end. I loved how the perspectives switched and at first we saw a first person POV and after the accident, we see a third person POV. It made the story feel more real and personal.
Nice job Madelyn! I loved your story I can really relate to how dreadful birthdays can be and how sometimes they aren't fun at all. And i really wasn't expecting that plot twist!
You did an amazing job with this story. I loved how it ran smoothly and was very easy to follow, and it made me want to read more. The plot twist at the end was genius, and I really liked the story overall. You are a very good story teller, and should probably write a book. Good Job!
I can relate so much to this story because although I love my birthday and the gift of life it can be overwhelming sometimes. Also I love the repetition of "I wish this day were over" because it is very effective. -Brianna Musa
I really enjoyed reading this piece! I love how the constant repetition of the phrase "I wish this day was over" was constantly foreshadowing the plot twist at the end. I also really liked the pause towards the end, as it grabbed my attention and built tension. Great job!!
As in the words of Mark E. Bassy, "Plot twist, I never thought it would end up like this." Madelyn! That was awesome! I love the repetition of of "I wish this day was over", and who would've thought that someone's birthday wish would actually come true on the same day! Very well written, and I love how the description of the day is super personal which makes the story very relatable.
Madelyn, this was soooo good. I enjoyed reading this out loud in my room and I definitely did not see the ending coming at all, but I felt like it made the story more interesting. I totally understand where the speaker is coming from because I know that I am also a person that gets more excited for my friends birthday then I do with my own. I found a life lesson in your story which is really be careful with what you wish for because you never know what will happen.
Wow, that was a great story that brings a surprising ending to such a mundane story, thought to be special, but full of dramatic irony as the characters in the story don't really know until it is too late. It really helps solidify my understanding to the uses of irony as a whole, and it was a greatly written piece that actually got me pretty confused, and that helped me understand the characters more that way till I found out at the end! Wonderful job, keep up the great work !!!!
William James Smith III :) :) :)
I really enjoyed this story and how it suddenly changes to a much darker tone. I also liked how you used the repetition of, " I wish this day were over" throughout the story to further this feeling of being uncomfortable.
I really, really liked the sudden plot twist because I was not expecting that at all, and i absolutely LOVED IT. This was such an amazing story, I liked how she ultimately got her wish before the tragic events that follows. This story was so amazing like I've reread it a few times.
Madelyn this was so amazing and unique I afore the plot twist and was completely engaged in this story. I love how well thought out this story was, where at the end everything essentially played a factor in the tragic accident. The foreshadowing by her saying "I wish this day was over" repetitively was so good too because I genuinely just thought it was the thought of an angsty teen, then it all tied in to the twist at the end, this was amazing!
First of all, I was not expected that plot twist. Wow, you had me hooked to this story from beginning to end. You write beautifully! While reading, I was totally relating to the girl as I hate my birthday too. I always ask people, "do you hate your birthday or are you normal?" Can't wait until you're a famous author/screenwriter so I can say I've been a fan since day 1! :)
This story was incredible! I liked how the repetition of "I wish this day were over" foreshadowed the plot twist at the end. I loved how the her wish implied the moral of "Be careful what you wish for." Amazing job!
This was an incredible story! I liked how the repetition of "I wish this day were over" foreshadowed the plot twist. I also liked how the wish and twist ending expressed the moral of "Be careful what you wish for." Great work!
I actually never saw it coming. The plot twist was AMAZING!!!! I really enjoyed your story. It honestly put a lot of things into perspective. I don't know if you intended it to have a message but I took it as you showing the audience to live in the moment and not wish for the time to be over because you truly don't know how much time you have. Overall, that was extremely well written and I would love to read more! Great Job :)
To reiterate what everyone has been saying, that ending GOT me! I really resonated with the feelings of wishing the day was over and wanting to please everyone but being worse off because of it and I totally wasn't expecting that ending but it genuinely made me realize that it's such a privilege to continually expect to have another birthday and it's one that we take advantage of so often. I loved that this was written in first person because it made it seem as though it was happening to me and was incredibly enticing. - Estella Poirier
SO AMAZING! This piece was such a work of art. The ending was such a spectacular way to tie off your piece. I honestly felt like I was reading a novel and was allured by the repetition, imagery, and the real storytelling that you portrayed. What a great job and such a remarkable story that will stay in my mind forever. It’s so sad that the main character didn’t get to enjoy her birthday before it was her last. I also find it interesting that you contrasted the feelings of a birthday. Usually, people are ecstatic for their birthday but it was so refreshing to see the opposite end of it and see a person going through the motions on their special day. Overall, great job, I loved your piece!
Wow. At the beginning of the story, I was thinking how hypocritical it was of the speaker to feel sad that "another year of their life had gone in a second" and how fast their life seemed to "flash by with nothing to show" when they kept wishing that their birthday would be over and they kept wishing their life would go by faster. It wasn't until the end that this was done on purpose, that was so smart! Well done!
Jessica Huang
Abigail Babatunde
That was I mean wow...amazing, I feel close to this story because I have never enjoyed my birthday but unlike your character my reason is because it reminds me of everything I've lost. Your story has shown me the power of words and living for yourself, although not directly her mothers fault the character tried to please her mom by having a party which in turn quickly turned into a funeral. You are an AMAZING STORY TELLER.
This story was amazing! I loved how you built up tension and how relatable the story was as well providing great detail which made it easier to understand and relate to the story.
Whoa! I love the plot twist at the end :)) I loved how relatable the first bit was, especially for me! I could’ve sworn that I was the only one who dreaded my own birthday, just wanting it to end quickly, wanting to isolate myself and be alone, without really knowing why. This piece was able to clear things up for me on a personal level and I am very appreciative of that. I love the overall message of the piece, and the way you tied things together with that ending truly shows a powerful message that life is valuable.
- Chrissy Lopez
Oh my gosh, Madelyn! This piece is AMAZING! I was not expecting that ending at all, but it was exactly what I needed. Wow. Your description and imagery throughout the build up was superb! I felt like I was living in the speaker's body, feeling every emotion she felt. I absolutely love the contrast between the girl's thoughts and the officers' reactions at the end. The fact that the officers felt awful for the girl, when in reality she was relieved, makes the entire story so much more powerful as it demonstrates the severity of the girl's suffering. Beautifully written!
- Morgan McDonnell
That was an amazing story! The way you alluded to the ending through the repetition of the phrase "I wish this day were over" was really smart and shocking, and the transition from the birthday girl's point of view to the officer's emphasizes the tragedy of the event. Though birthday parties are usually happy and joyous, the girl's inner thoughts and the gas fire greatly contrasted the initial tone. Great job!
This story is quite honestly amazing. I too have a distinct hatred towards birthdays, and I would rather them not exist. The tragic end of the story is a very nice touch, specifically in how it directly contrasts the happy celebration of a birthday to a sad funeral.
This story was very well-written!!! I loved the diction throughout and the emphasized phrase of "I wish this day was over." The plot twist was very surprising! Great job!
I was NOT expecting that! Your story telling skills are really good and the plot twist was really well executed, since you basically got everyone in the comments! Very good way of getting the moral of "be thankful for what you had" incorporated in this piece.
My birthday is next week, so I'll keep the moral of the story in mind ;)
(Laura Clark)
THE WILD RIDE I WAS TAKEN ON. You were able to explain a relatable feeling that I have always had with words and details. The twist from internal dialogue of a person dreading who she is in the moment into the actual dialogue between police officers was incredibly well done. It kept suspense and surprise straight to the end. Much enjoy!
Aries Tacderan
Madelyn!!! This was so good, I wasn't expecting that ending. There wasn't a moment where I was bored and felt the need to skim through. The whole story itself was so interesting and kept me engaged the whole time. Your use of imagery really made me feel like I was there myself! You did a really good job!!! :)
Wow Madelyn !!! The plot twist *chef's kiss* !!!! Also, the point of view shift everything was amazing such a great piece !!
-Seyi Alli
Isaac Ilano
I really liked your article, I really did not know where the story was going until you said that everything was gonna be the last time she got to do those things. The plot twist was for sure when the detective was talking to Officer Brady and he said that there was no survivors
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