Image joining a sport you have no experience in or knowing very little about it, that was
my freshman year of highschool in 2016. Of course I should’ve known water polo would be a very difficult sport to commit to. Season started in the winter, who would’ve known that it’d be raining, jumping into an ice cold pool with pouring rain was no excuse to miss practice. Just when I thought that was bad, practice was even more intense than expected. Swimming seems easy, although image having weight belts on, swimming 25 yards without breathing, treading medicine balls and chairs. It was a struggle everyday, although it was my distraction away from my sister with cancer. I became dedicated to self-improvement, I joined the swim team to increase my speed and gain endurance.
Throughout my freshman and sophomore year, I continued to grow my strength. By junior year I could see major improvements, even if I didn’t make varsity water polo. By the time swim season came in March, I participated in varsity practice helping me increase my speed to a varsity level. During spring break of my junior year, I became a certified lifeguard. Before I knew it, three years had passed of playing a sport I quickly learned to love and created a bond with my teammates and coaches.
My last summer before senior year, I worked at the Fontana Aquatic Park as a lifeguard and at Chaffey College teaching kids how to swim. I gained an experience of being a part of a
sport and was able to give back to my community through this. Working over 35 hours a week
seems like alot, on top of practicing at 6am, and having tournaments. Although it wasn’t
horrible any second of it, I loved the experience of being able to teach kids who were terrified at
first, similar to me, and soon easily being able to swim.
26 comments:
I like how you describe the rigors of water polo practices, it really helps to visualize how difficult each practice was for you. - Cameron Hunter
A few spelling/grammar errors, but overall extremely descriptive and precise. I enjoy the use of descriptive language and simple sentence structure, which makes the main idea of the piece apparent. I also did not know water polo was that rigorous! The progression from when you first started to now is amazing and is well-developed as the passage continues. -Jolyei Griffith
I think how you described water polo practice and how truly difficult it can be. Along with adding how it encouraged you and how you continue to get better. -Rebeca Sandes
I really enjoyed how personal your piece was! It was very descriptive, which made me understand why you are so proud of this accomplishment.
I really enjoyed how you talked about growing into an experience that you soon learned to love. Finding something that can benefit you in the future with a potential career that you enjoy is really important. Working your way up to the point where you can gain life experience from an activity is something that will be with you forever. -Leah Meza
Inspirational AND uplifting! As I read through your story, it made me reflect on my own life and motivate myself to persevere no matter what the circumstances may be. As a fellow athlete, I agree 100% with the intensity of being a student-athlete and your use of emotional appeal through melancholic diction in the beginning and toward the end a more vibrant tone. This nicely represents the shift in your life from difficult times to happy days.
I'm glad you stuck through with the sport despite the difficulties and finished your season strong. I enjoyed your experience and went through something similar as a swimmer myself!
I love how vulnerable you were willing to be about your reason for joining sports in the first place, it makes the piece so much easier to relate to. Even if it started out as a way to distract yourself from the problems life threw at you, seeing it become something so meaningful to you through the writing is very uplifting.
I love that you described your journey to get to where you are now. Being a student athlete, I understand the struggle and how competitive sports can be. It was very easy to see why you are so proud of this accomplishment! -Jadyn Y.
Captivating and inspiring story! Your story was enjoyable to read as i really liked how you joined something that you had no idea about and quickly began to love it because of the hard work you put in.It's a great story that encourages others reading this to venture into something that they've wanted to do for a while but haven't had the courage to do it. How you wrote your progression was easy to follow and captivating at the same time without a single second i was pulled away from your text. Overall a really inspiring and good piece of writing! - Immanuel Babatunde
You did a great job explaining your personal experience and giving much detail. I love how you pushed through the hardships of water polo, especially never having done it before. I am glad that you have learned to love the sport and have improved so much that you are helping others in your community.
I like how you start from nothing about water polo and end with gaining so much knowledge about it. The passion and dedication you gave for the sports was really amazing. You achieved all the goal you set for yourself. well done:)
By Rumjeet Pandher
I really enjoyed how you talked about how hard it was in the beginning for you with the effort that goes into water polo and how instead of giving up you continued to try your best and practice. I also like how you went beyond just water polo at school and expanded it to your community.
Your piece was very unique as it was very personal. You explained your feelings and what you experienced in such detail that it enticed me even as I was reading it. Even then, it felt like I was there as well. The way you charged through your hard experience was very inspiring, allowing everyone to see what they are truly capable of if they have the will to continue to push through. Your story was very well executed and I truly enjoyed it. -Aaron P.
I love how you had conquered your own personal problems by conquering a challenge instead, like water polo and I feel like you were able to dive deep into your emotions and you conveyed them perfectly in your post. I can see how the experiences which you have gained have changed your life for the better. Keep it up!!!!!!!
This piece was very moving and inspiring. You did a great job of going into detail and making the reader feel they are actually in that environment. Your story perfectly exemplifies how hard work and dedication can lead to finding who you really are and improving yourself as a person. The way you described the struggles you faced when you first entered the sport was very impressive. Overall, this whole piece was very inspiring and puts into perspective how one can overcome challenges in their lives by doing what they love and mastering their craft. - Yuan Maneje
I loved how you were brave enough to try a sport that you had never done before and how despite the challenges and difficulties that you faced, you continued to persevere and find ways to improve your skills throughout your years in high school. Very inspiring! - Isabel Quintanilla
I think your essay was good just make sure to check a few grammar errors. Overall, I liked your essay and how you put your personal information in order to give the essay a little depth. I think that your essay showed a good balance of your experience with water polo. -Ariana Hernandez
Amazing job using imagery in your piece. This piece shows how perseverance and hard work can be rewarding at the end. Very inspiring!
Hard work pays off! Not many people have this much dedication or drive for something that they're newly exposed to. I feel that its a common excuse to disregard all efforts simply because its out of someones comfort zone. You taking those hardships and turning them into learning experiences for not only personal growth but for other kids like you is very uplifting. Thank You! -Madia Wright
It is absolutely a blessing to hear about how a simple sport played by many is your way of learning a new activity or even a way for coping with hardships such as family struggles. I really love the story development and the implementation of the fine detail of physical and mental change. This really adds a sense of motivation directed towards the reader because as the reader, we get the slight desire to gain experience ourselves in some field. All in all, your story is able to inspire and constitute discovery among your own character as well as the characters of the audience. -Nathaniel Alvarado
This entire piece vividly and openly described the new experience you went through when you joined Water Polo and quickly yet in detail described your journey from beginning out in Polo to being a lifeguard, truly incredible.-Jacob Higgins
This piece is the classic "never give up" and "persevere to the end" story, and I loved it. I especially enjoyed your use of repetition to really emphasize what you were trying to get the readers to understand out of your post, that what you were setting out to do was going to be extremely difficult. Your dedication to helping others and your community is tantamount to your character and the person you will become. - Joshua L.
I really enjoyed this piece and felt that I was really transported to your experience. Learning something new is not easy and you showed that and also showed what you learned from putting yourself in this kind of situation. The adjustment of learning and getting out of your comfort zone is a big thing and I feel that a lot of people can learn from your experience. The development of your story is great and never goes off topic.
Angiolina Seminario
I relate to this piece a lot. The life of a student athlete is very tough. The hardships of balancing school, personal life, homework and free time is very tough and forces us to make sacrifices. I enjoyed the fact that you persevered and manege to grow as a person. Good job Steph! Hopefully you work at FPAC next year!
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