I notice that our society completely eats cereal in the worst possible way and it’s
incredibly disappointing, in my opinion. If you treat cereal as a snack or a last resort, due to whining about how you have nothing else to eat for breakfast, then you are very wrong. It is a delicacy and an art form.
The first step to a 10/10 experience is to pick your cereal. Honestly, I really don’t care what any of you choose, but the type depends completely on the type of person you are. Your preference should represent you, and you only. If you’re a very traditional and simple human being that always has a routine and obtains a strong work ethic for a successful future, you probably enjoy Cheerios. If you have a reserved and quiet personality, where you’re always to yourself and seem to have no desire for social interaction, yet you sneak out at 2 AM every night to go to a party, you probably eat Rice Krispies. If you have no idea what you’re going to become in life and you bundle yourself in a ball in your room for hours, thinking that you’ll live on the street as an adult, you’ll probably enjoy a nice and delicious bowl of Captain Crunch.
Moreover, there isn’t a single difference between name brand and off brand cereals, except that some of you think just because a box has a popular brand name, it’s better. You probably choose to pick name brands because you don’t want your friends to know what kind of cheap human being you are, and that’s totally fine.
The second step is to pour your cereal into a bowl. Again, you pour your cereal into the bowl FIRST. This step is very crucial, considering some simple-minded kids today choose to pour their cereal AFTER their milk. The fact that these sick individuals on this planet believe milk is poured in first gives me anxiety. If you or a loved one has the “Milk First” mindset, please make an appointment with their doctor as soon as possible. If you put the milk in first, your whole cereal portion will float to the very top of your bowl and your 10/10 experience is ruined for the whole meal and will only be decreased to about a 6. Especially for you Rice Krispies lovers out there, cereal goes in first to enjoy that Snap, Crackle, Pop!
After successfully pouring the cereal first, you pour the milk AFTER. Again, you pour the milk AFTER. The emphasis on this step is very crucial to a healthy and happy planet to live on. Now when it comes to this step, everyone has a personal preference: Skimmed, Almond, Soy, Organic, Whole, 2%, Lowfat. However, if you are Lactose Intolerant, please proceed with caution. Then again, stores do offer Lactose-Free milk and yes, you can still have that 10/10 experience if you pour in Lactose-Free. If your milk is expired, DO NOT POUR. If your milk appears to be either clear or orange, DO NOT POUR, as it may be water or orange juice. Furthermore, do not attempt to pour any kind of soda or alcohol in your cereal, as your meal may be a little bland.
After pouring the cereal FIRST, and the milk AFTER, you can consider adding toppings. No one will judge you if you do, as it is your personal meal and preference. Fruit, such as bananas or blueberries, are perfect add-ons to your experience and can make the meal even healthier. If by any chance you see yourself adding other toppings, such as sprinkles or chocolate
syrup, might as well throw the whole bowl away and travel as far away from the cereal
community as possible, as you are not welcome here.
While eating, make sure you eat at your own pace. You want to savor every flavor and every bite of your meal. Your cereal does not want to be rushed and wants to feel needed. Also, do not use other utensils other than a spoon; I can tell some of you tried using a knife or fork and it shows. Once you’re done eating, you may have extra milk left in your bowl. You have many options: you can drink the milk, or if you want to be that ungrateful hag that wastes food, you can throw it away. Do not think the extra milk at the bottom is an excuse to add more cereal, you will regret it. Again, adding cereal on top of the milk is the most shameful and embarrassing thing to do. I would rather you be the wasteful hag that pours the excess milk down the drain than you considering pouring more cereal over milk like a disgusting pig.
Your cereal is not some bland and simple snack you can just mindlessly throw together in a minute or so. It requires your deep love and affection, your extreme focus and patience, and your desire to better our society. Construct your cereal as if you’re feeding it to a King or Queen or as if your life depends on it. The moment you lose sight of the beauty of your cereal is the moment you lose sight of yourself.
While eating, make sure you eat at your own pace. You want to savor every flavor and every bite of your meal. Your cereal does not want to be rushed and wants to feel needed. Also, do not use other utensils other than a spoon; I can tell some of you tried using a knife or fork and it shows. Once you’re done eating, you may have extra milk left in your bowl. You have many options: you can drink the milk, or if you want to be that ungrateful hag that wastes food, you can throw it away. Do not think the extra milk at the bottom is an excuse to add more cereal, you will regret it. Again, adding cereal on top of the milk is the most shameful and embarrassing thing to do. I would rather you be the wasteful hag that pours the excess milk down the drain than you considering pouring more cereal over milk like a disgusting pig.
Your cereal is not some bland and simple snack you can just mindlessly throw together in a minute or so. It requires your deep love and affection, your extreme focus and patience, and your desire to better our society. Construct your cereal as if you’re feeding it to a King or Queen or as if your life depends on it. The moment you lose sight of the beauty of your cereal is the moment you lose sight of yourself.
68 comments:
This 'how to' gets a solid 15/10 from me and is making me want to go home and eat cereal. I feel like i want to help better this society and of course the first step is changing the way i eat my cereal
Oh my god! This narrative is one of the most humorous that I have ever read! The sophistication of your humor in this piece kept me laughing for ten straight minutes! I am very impressed at how you chose such a simple topic of "eating cereal" but was able to put it under a magnifying glass and humorously advised on the aspects of eating cereals that I have never thought about.
-Xiaoqing Z. P.4
This was a GREAT piece, there was just the right amount of humor and the fact that you made something that seems absolutely feeble in our everyday lives into something extremely relevant is rather unique in my opinion! Especially when it concerns cereal for that matter. I love the narration and how everything seems relatively well thought out! Overall, this piece was REALLY entertaining to read! Kudos to ya!
I really enjoyed the creativity of your How To! Also, I agree, cereal before milk! This blog idea is very unique and detailed. I like how you explored different options of cereal for different types of people. - A. French
This was so enjoyable to read, from start to finish! This will be such a helpful guide to some of those in the cereal community who have no idea the proper way to eat a bowl of cereal. I loved the little personality comparison to types of cereal, it was such a funny way to describe breakfast and the people who eat certain cereal brands as well. Good Job!
Cedric, I loved this! Your sense of humor shines through your writing and your style is unique to you. Despite the light subject matter, you displayed an ability to write cohesively and effectively while engaging your audience. Great Work!
-Ashley Sierra-Tillery
I was completely unaware of the amount of choices that were behind eating cereal and that a person’s personality was reflected in what cereal that person chose. I like how you dedicated two whole paragraphs to establish that milk comes after the cereal and supported them with evidence as why this method is the correct one. Now the next time I eat cereal, I will remember the cereal hierarchy that you created.
Cedric, this piece was so funny!! I enjoyed every single part of it. I think we really needed an intellectual like you to inform others of the proper way to eat cereal because "Milk First" is simply unacceptable. Although I lowkey felt attacked when you mentioned the brand vs. off brand cereals, I truly enjoyed your blog. -Chimi Nebedum
I loved your piece. Your goal was to present a way of having a 10/10 cereal experience and you achieved it informing me myself that I was truly eating cereal in an incorrect way my whole life. I loved the little details you gave of the cereal types and a detailed sequence of how to eat cereal starting from step one all they way until the end.
wow, your view of cereal has opened my mind to its possibilities and potential. I like how you were really clear and repetitive to what steps to do first, like pouring the cereal first and then the milk, it made it easy to remember. Over all, your blog flowed nicely and taught me to make the most of my cereal experience.
I’m both delighted and shocked on how you created a very detailed tutorial on cereal. I can see you addressed several errors that some consumers partake in while eating cereal, which makes the whole tutorial 20 times better. This was very informative, overall you did amazing and my favorite part was the use of the meme “it shows.”
Solid work Cedric, I feel as if though I've really gained something from your blog post. I strongly agree with all your points, especially regarding order of cereal and milk in the bowl. Anyone that pours the milk in first before the cereal is a heathen. Again, great work in your blog post; I could feel the emotional connection you have with the topic.
LOL (Laughing Out Loud like the kids say on the chatsnap and facebook). Cedric, this was a comical masterpiece! I really enjoyed this fabulous satire instructional and truth about the proper way to eat your cereal. Keep up the great work cutie ;) Way to go big guy!
Finally, someone who truly understands the art of eating cereal! The comedy in the post is very calculated and hilarious, and you are truly an artist for putting all this cereal information out there!
P.S. I like cinnamon toast crunch
This was incredibly amusing! I love how the humor doesn’t degrade the writing quality at all; the eloquent syntax, humorous diction, and hefty serving of sarcastic humor all blend together into one truly amazing piece. An overall reading experience of 10/10. Amazing job!
This was really funny! I love the categorization of certain types of people with certain kinds of cereal, and your very true claim that cereal is a national delicacy and should be treated as such. This read a lot like a satire, in that you got overly specific about something pretty arbitrary- eating cereal- and it kind of reflects how some people out there think things ought to be done only their way. Very nice!
What an informative tutorial to eat cereal.I especially liked the bit where you included the lactose intolerant people.It was a great way to make everyone feel included. Soy all the way!
-Grecia Sepulveda
Cedric I thought this blog was not only entertaining but actually informative. I'm glad you're making sure to call out those people who pour their milk before the cereal. I thought it was funny how you attributed the cereal brands to each personality. I myself happen to love Captain Crunch and Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Good job.
This is such a funny and eye opening story. I never realized how important making cereal was. After reading this short story I now realize that I must take great patience and focus when making my cereal and that is something I will keep hold of until the end of my days. Great story very entertaining and funny!
-Ivan Mejia (Per.5)
Cedric, this was such a funny piece and I really enjoyed your "how to". I also liked how you actually told the reader how to eat cereal, rather than just leaving it a joke, which made it even funnier. Great job! -Amber Rich
Wow, I love this “how to”! It’s hilarious and a very detailed tutorial. I 100% agree with the whole pouring the milk in first to be completely wrong. It’s just not right. I also loved how you gave each different type of person a type of cereal. Great job.
This piece was nothing that i was expecting it to be. When reading this piece the last thing that I was expecting was to be lectured on the complexity of the human mind and how it can be seen through simple things such as your cereal choice. I also love how there was humor put into this piece was able to bring it all together. Amazing work-Sezar Guitron
This was very helpful i really learned the form that is cereal in which it is a art.this really help to know the catastrophe that is pouring the milk first. As well as the clarification of using a spoon instead of any other utensil. 10/10
Alejandro Marquez
Your "How To" is amazing!! I was hooked from the second I started reading and couldn't take my eyes off the page. I love the detail and serious humor. I love how you incorporated human personalities and are directly related to a specific cereal. I also saw myself comparing the way I eat cereal to your tutorial. Overall very enjoyable and fun to read.
-Kailee Hinds
I am going to be 100% honest with you this was one of the funniest entries I have read on the blog and I laughed the whole way through the way you were able to incorporate some of the "lingo" on a homework assignment showed great skill, such as the "and it shows" bit.
I have to say that these instructions on how to make cereal is awesome I loved reading this because you were able to make this fun especially on what to do after you finish it. It also reminded me that there were so many choices when it comes to how you want to make your cereal. This was superb!
I feel as if you were scrolling through twitter and saw a "right way to eat cereal" debate when your idea for the blog was sparked haha. Your piece was written well and was fun to read. It is always nice to read something with humor and your tutorial on cereal eating was just that.
-Mackenzie Tipple
Cedric, I really enjoyed your narrative here. It’s a nice comedic approach to something that is just so simple for us. I personally found the different stereotypes of people and their cereal amusing, giving it some vivid imagery. Fantastic job!
This was so interesting!! The way you described two types of people and how they each separately cereal was amazing. I also found it nice that your steps were well written out and clear.
OMG this was an interesting topic to write about but I loved it! You did a great job on explaining the correct way of eating cereal by using steps by steps. I love the way you emphasized the correct way of putting the cereal first then milk because I personally don't think there is any other way.
You sounded really aggressively passionate in this. I loved how you sounded like the white, stay-at-home, pinterest mom when you started talking about toppings. Overall, this piece seemed very ironic but genuine at the same time, which made it hilarious to read.
-Kaili Fisher
This story was very interesting and funny. I never realize how much cereal can say about someones characteristics. I do agree with you on the part where the person should see the doctor if they pour milk first. What a great story! A good well done!
I really enjoyed how aggressive you were in this. I had no idea how to eat cereal, you really enlightened me and I can never go back to my old ways. I agree with you, cereal goes before the milk. It makes sense. If you put milk first the cereal just floats on top and you have to push it into the milk. But if you put cereal first, then the cereal is immediately submerged once you add the milk. Great work!
This was such a fun read! I love the creativity and the effort put into this piece. I enjoyed how you put emphasis on certain things like the cereal always being poured before the milk. Great job.
I love how you were so passionate about how to serve yourself cereal, by the way I have a friend that actually likes to eat his cereal with soda sometimes yukk!
-Kiyla Nunez.
Aggressively funny ! I liked how serious this was even though it was about cereal. Still came off as genuine passion though. Great job
Cedric, this piece is masterfully written! The style of writing takes satire to a new level: I appreciate your attention to detail of each possible aspect of cereal eating, you truly made it feel like an art form! Also, I agree! Cereal always goes in first, period. And almond milk is always the best way to go!
Although I may not agree with your method of eating cereal, as I myself enjoy slightly expired milk, I am extremely impressed with how forward and verbose you are in the description of making a bowl of cereal. Never have I ever thought that someone could be so analytical of how the enjoyment of cereal is experienced and performed. Very intriguing Cedric, and very cool!
Wow this was really good, just the emphasis and euphemism in your literary work is overall great. Loved the part where you mentioned pouring the cereal first then the milk. But, was heartbroken that it had ended so shortly, would read read again.
Amazing instructions on how to eat cereal. I especially like the way you talked about cereal it showed that you really are dedicated to making cereal properly in order to enjoy the meal or snack. Thank you, for this informative and extremely funny piece-Andrew Macias
I loved reading your blog Cedric! This is such a controversial topic in the internet world and you did an amazing job explaining your opinion and suggestions with some humor! Nice job!-jayleen lupian
You have such a unique style and I love this concept so much! I really enjoyed the comedic irony throughout the piece and hope you continue developing your writing because you have a gift!
I love all of the humor crammed into this post, the repetition and near excessive use of the word FIRST and AFTER really gives a nice sense of sarcasm. I don’t know how particularly useful this tutorial is, but it definitely is entertaining.
this is one of the most iconic and realest blog posts ive ever read. cereal is such a deep and important subject that only you had the courage to talk about, thank you for this enlightening piece. im going to eat some cereal now :)
This was a very unique and funny piece. I really enjoyed your blog. Now I see cereal a whole different piece. Thanks for this hilarious unique piece.
-Jasmine Hernandez
Oh my god. Put on a name tag with the name Guy Fiere and take me to flavor town because that "how to" was as tasty as the finest of filet mignon prepped by Gordon Ramsey himself. The details and the attention to them were flawless creating the perfect blend of humor and knowledge. Keep it up Chef Cedric.
I really never thought of eating cereal this way, however thanks to you you have shown me how to eat cereal in a creative and humorous way. Thank you for giving me this opportunity to change how I normally eat cereal to a more exciting way. - Eric Chang
Wow cedric, you told me about writing a how to about eating cereal but I never thought you could've pulled it off, this blog is not only funny but also incredibly informative and thorough. I'm proud of you for being able to write such an amazing piece.
I like how you brought a twist on the how to blog posts that have been on the website, where the other posts showed how to create one you made a story on how to do something extremely simple to add a comedic effect. You did a really good job on the comedy you created.-Nathan Brown
Wow Ced, this "How to" is amazing! I love how you are so passionate about cereal! I couldn't stop laughing after reading this. Well done Ced!
Honestly, this has to be my favorite blog post yet. It was hilarious how you reiterated yourself so much on the very important step to get that 10/10 experience. The writing and steps were very clear and concise, overall, I love this! -Leslie R.
Awesome job, love how passionate you sound about making cereal. Will definitely enjoy some tonight.
Thank you for ending this long debate on how to eat cereal and milk. But other than that I really enjoyed this piece! I thought that it had great comedy and great detail! Your step by step process was very well built I thought.
Cedric, this was so well written. You managed to expand on something that I usually didn't pay any mind to in such a captivating way. While reading your "how to" I kept making mental checks in my mind, like "yep I do that." Overall I've come to the realization that you are the most educated person on cereal.
-Brooke Leslie
Cedric, you wrote this with so much description and it really conveys the importance of the issue to you. I think your writing sounds so eloquent, but also casual and just like a conversation, which makes it easy to read. I’m glad you could share your love for cereal with us.
I really loved how serious and passionate you were about this topic, even if it was just about cereal. This piece was really funny and interesting to read. Great job!
One of the best pieces i've read, truly great advice. I really enjoyed the light and playful attitude as it was a really enjoyable piece to read. The emphasis on certain aspects and the humor put into this was very well written as well. Overall, a good piece with some great advice.
Cedric, I applaud you for the bravery you demonstrated by addressing an issue that many people are afraid to talk about. There have been horrid videos on social media of people pouring their milk into their cereal first. This disservice to my eyes must come to an end and I appreciate how you are clearly guiding the lost ones in the right direction fo cereal first. Thank you for your service, you are so brave
Thanks for the tips on how to eat cereal Cedric. I am just now finding out I have been doing it wrong my entire life. I enjoyed reading your piece and liked the descriptions you gave on peoples preferred cereal types. Good job!
Thank you for collaboratively sharing a topic that now and days people have their own opinion and ways to eat cereal. I think that this piece says that there is more to cereal that perceives us in the eye. Thank you for sharing for many! (Julia Avalos)
Cedric, I really enjoyed your piece, as it was very humorous and witty. It was an impressive satire of the state of debate today, where we argue for little things and for no reason.
Cedric, I 100% agree that you pour cereal "FIRST" and milk "AFTER" instead of the other way around. I enjoyed the advice you gave on how to treat cereal more preciously and less carelessly yo get the most out of it. Great Job!
What a hilarious take on cereal! I do not care whether or not milk or cereal first, however, I just pour in whatever is in my hand first! I like how you paralleled cereal to the type of Person, very organic and cute. - Adam Huizar
First of all, thank you for your bravery and being able to delve into such a delicate issue. And yeah, I can agree with you on that. Whoever pours their milk in before their cereal is an absolute psycho. On a more serious note, I enjoyed your serious tone on such a trivial issue, it helps show that you have a really good sense of humor. ~Ryan Kang
Your use of imagery like "disgusting pig" or "feeding a King or Queen" only works to emphasize the poetic nature and significance of this piece, of which remained EXTREMELY informative and direct, and I intend on utilizing within the future. - Ethan Ford
This was so fun to read. I really love the way you made the topic so serious. Also thank you for the tips on how to make cereal. (Nufsat Khan)
This piece was so hilarious!!! Your use of imagery and detail really made this piece. Your story was not only entertaining but informative as well. Good job:)
- camryn greer
Cedric, oh how I loved this! I never realized how much I took eating cereal for granted. I never understood the true art of it but thanks to your piece I do now. From now on I will savor every moment of it. From when I grab my bowl to taking the very last bite. Once again thank you!
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