"Almost" by Melody L

Barely

There were a lot of things that came to mind when I think about the things I barely have finished.
I barely finish my homework on time, I barely made it on time to the plane when I was moving, and I barely sorted my affairs before I moved. 

Almost

A word so similar to the word “barely” but both words are used in different instances. “Almost,”
a word so connected to “barely” but it implies a negative consequence. Almost getting a job, almost rejecting love, almost making it in life. But, I know that almost achieving love is the worst.
I guess in the end, whose fault is it if love never existed in the first place? “... Therefore, we can’t be together anymore.” 

He blinked at me twice. I checked my phone for the time; I had five hours before my flight. I stared back at him. The atmosphere stayed the same. It was as if he expected me to say that to him a day before I left. I guess barely made it. He didn’t say anything, instead, all he did was nod and leave my apartment. After he walked out of my red door and I heard the familiar click of the door closing, I got up straight away to prepare for my flight to my new home. I hop into the shower, feeling a sensation of relief as the lukewarm water hit my head. Regretfully, a million new thoughts flooded my head as my shower dragged on. 

What’s his family like?
What does he do for a living nowadays?
What is his favorite color?
I know we’ve been together for long, but how many years has it been? When did we become strangers? 

We barely talked at night this year, but some time last year we almost talked everyday. Or was it last year we barely talked? Or was it two years before we almost talked everyday? I guess we have grown so apart until we both turned cold. 

I quickly hop out of the shower and change into comfortable clothes. To keep myself busy, I folded and folded the clothes in my luggage. I checked my phone for the time and I noticed a notification from him that read:
“Thank you for the past 7 years” 

The time told me that I had half an hour before my driver was here to pick me up. I just played on my phone until my driver texted me:
“Here, black toyota convertible.”
I looked outside and responded with “Okay.” 

After I situated myself in the backseat of the car, the driver turns around with a smile and offers me a can of soda. I accept it and drink it with gratitude. After his kind gesture he created small-talk until we got to the airport. I found out his name was Frederick and he absolutely adored talking about his wife and kids.
After checking in, I waited for my flight patiently. I listened to music and browsed social media. When my mind began to numb from looking at the screen for too long, I looked around. As I observed the empty spaces next to me, I wondered when the warmth of his presence ended. I guess the answer was that I can live well without him. 

I shake my thoughts away and realize that I needed to board the plane. After a rush of time, chaos and turbulence, I start to head to my new home. I almost never made it. I sit closely to the window and look out. My vision began to become unfocused as I began to think about him again. 

A million of empty memories filled my mind while I sat comfortably in the silence of the plane. Were we really smiling? Were we really in love? Why did we stay if scars get deeper over time? What did I give to you and what did I take from you? Was breaking up really a lost? 

I blinked twice and tears flooded down my face. Whose fault is it if love never existed in the first place?