I woke up for my first day of work while it was still stark black
outside, whether from anxiety or excitement who knows. I showered and found my uniform, green and red garb with a jingle bell hat. I hopped in my car and
headed to my new job I was already running late. When I arrived I was greeted
by a tall very upset man in a red suit. The man staggered 3 feet above me,
which isn't that hard considering I am 2’8 and he was not happy, I was late. He skipped introductions since we were already running behind and said, “I don't have time for your excuses” as I tried to apologize this was not starting off well. He was showing me the facility, where all the toys are made, and my new workstation. I was slaving over my task in deplorable sweatshop like conditions waiting for my break to finally come, and it did. I decided to walk around and explore my new workplace when I stumbled into a room I shouldn't have. I entered the room and saw elves being tortured in order to steal their magical blood and tears, but, why? My head began to spin and all the blood rushed
to my head, but I knew one thing for sure I had to find that man in the red
suit. I began to run faster and faster searching everywhere the more I searched the worse the atrocities got and the less and less innocent the toy shop
became. I began to feel as if I was being watched and followed, but there was no one there or was he, he always knows when you've been bad or good? I saw him and I knew I needed to confront him. I asked him about the awful sight and he
called it “a necessary evil in order to keep business running” and to “not take
it personally” in a fit of rage I grabbed my screwdriver from my pocket and
lunged at him. After what felt like eternity I stopped bloody and exhausted and
stood over the lifeless corpse of none other than Santa Clause.
40 comments:
Wow this story took a very sharp turn. I was not expecting it go that way but i love how intense it was and the way you described how you were feeling. 10/10
Wow, I liked this creative twist on Santa Claus making him seem like an evil person it was interesting and captivated my attention. Also, I liked how descriptive you were it made the story more intriguing and added suspense over all.
Johnny, this piece was surprisingly intriguing. You had very good imagery. As I was reading your piece, I was able to visualize everything you were describing despite still trying to get a grasp of the entire scenario. Each detail kind of unveiled a little more and more of what was actually going on and as it got to the end, the complete setting unwound. The last sentence made me chuckle because I thought it was pretty funny. You kept me engaged and excited the entire time I was reading and because of that, I deeply enjoyed this piece. -Chimi Nebedum
Johnny, this was a crazy story. In the beginning, I wasn't sure how it was going to end and I did not expect it at all. I thought the narrator was just going to go to work and make toys, but I wish there was a part two so I could know what happened after they killed Santa Clause, great job and great plot twist! -Amber Rich
I thought that this piece was great! I thought that the imagery was great and I´m still thinking about that twist. I remember reading this at first and being confused but as it went on more and more made sense and made it so much more rewarding to read.
I like how I was expecting the speaker to be a human getting ready for work but I finally realized when you mentioned their height and their uniform. This blog had a fun little twist on Christmas and steered away from the normal jolly Santa Clause that we all know and love. Very creative and full of imagery!
-Mackenzie Tipple
WOOOOOAH. I first thought it was going to be something about work and perseverance, but this is waaay better. I loved how the beginning was normal and progressed nicely until the part of magic being sucked out and the killing of Santa Clause. It is one of the best pieces i´ve read on here.
Grecia Sepulveda
This story had multiple twists, in which each one surprised me. It gave me a chuckle at first, however once I got to the end, my thoughts were not how there were from the beginning of the story. This blog was humorous and amusing to read.
Brother, this is honestly one of the most intriguing stories I've heard lately in regards to Santa. The plot twist at the end was pretty crazy as well as your ability to let us know the target of your little elf so early. - Joshua Perez
This story definitely took me by surprise. I didn't expect the twist which was really amazing. It kept me excited and curious throughout the story to know what will happen next.
- Nufsat Khan
super cool story from the perspective of the elves. i thought it was amazing that you changed the scenery, mood and tone of the north pole so drastically. i also like that you add the little details in the story like the height of the characters and even the background details.
I enjoyed the twist you put into this story. At first I was imagining an everyday (possibly retail) job around the holidays but I was delighted to find that there was a Christmas twist to it. Although it's rather violent towards the end I liked the sadistic take on Santa Claus. Great Job!
I appreciate the liberties you took in this piece to explore the somewhat cryptic nature the Christmas holiday can possess. I believe writing that takes you out of a bubble of conformity and societal expectation is vital for the growth and progression of literature and you've done exactly that with this submission. Bravo Johnny!
-Jennifer Flores
Johnny your story was super crazy. I appreciated how interesting it was and the plot twist was really funny. Your play on the idea of Santa Claus was perfect. Love it <3
This piece is so fascinating and suspenseful. I never expected it to end that way, and I love that about this. It started off so innocent and the twist is exciting, yet also dark and horrifying. The imagery when describing the workshop is deep and twisted, which made me want to read further. I was shocked by the ending, but also pleased because you gave a different perspective to "Santa's Workshop" that challenges the innocent stories we are told as kids.
Johnny I really enjoyed the sharp turn that your story took about the true nature of Santa Claus the build up towards the script is very suspenseful and well created. The story that you made in such a small amount of lines was very intriguing.
i love this dark twist on santa clause! this should definitely be a movie! i loved the suspense and the story itself was very captivating from the start and the imagery of it was insane. great job:)
This story really got my attention. The way the story describes really helps the reader understand what is going on. The end was not what i expected. It was suprising in a good way. The whole plot is very interesting. Thank you for this funny story.
This is so amusing! I love how it had the twist that the Santa Claus we all know and love is actually evil. Thank you for making my day brighter through this amusing piece!
Jacob Lopez
The story took many sharp turns which I enjoyed a lot as you used a lot of imagery and how the mood was suspenseful terrific job!
WOOOAh!This was way better than I expected it to be. The shift came so quickly, it caught me off guard. The end with Santa Clause being dead was great.
-Grecia Sepulveda
This literary work surprised me in a sense of that I didn't know what was going to happen and kept me on the edge of my seat wanting to read more. The story had subtle hints of where it was leading to and I enjoyed it and definitely would recommend reading it.
I'm not so sure how I feel towards the idea of murdering Santa Clause, but I am sure on my feelings towards the concept of this piece. The twist and transformation of Santa's workshop into a sweatshop with horrendous labor conditions was, to me, humorous and almost sounded as if it was a social commentary on actual labor sweatshops. All in all, this piece intrigued me quite a bit. Well done!
This story surprised me because by the title I could not quite figure out what the subject would be. At first, it seemed like an elf was going to describe his first day of work. However, the shift shocked me by bringing a negative connotation to Santa’s workshop. This is a good story with an unpredictable twist.
WOW! I began looking at the title thinking this may be about something not so pleasant and I was right! At first I was reading and thinking "Awe this is about Santa and his Elves." Then, Nope. Complete mood change. That was a very unexpected piece and well done. Good job on making me want to read more and more to see what happens next too. - john b.
I really liked this piece, it was a dark twist on Christmas. I also appreciate how you eased the reader from something unfamiliar to something we all know as Santa's elves. The imagery really highlighted the point of view from the elf. Great piece!
This was so unexpected. The intro was a very good way of drawing the reader in by giving them something they can relate to but the ending was amazing. I absolutely loved the humor put into this piece even though it was somewhat like a horror. You did great! -Kyleigh Leonard
Wow I did not expect that at all but you honestly did a wonderful job with this short little story And you were really able to keep me on my toes and trying to guess what was next by giving minimal detail at the beginning of the story allowing the reader to sort of guess what the job was or who the large man in the suit was.
-Johnny Gitau
Wow, this what not what I was expecting! I liked the twist you had with the elves and the death of Santa Clause. Amazing use of imagery!
-Karen Villanueva
This surprised me very much, I did not expect it to go in the direction that it went in! The imagery was great and I was genuinely shocked at the end. Good Job!
I first thought is was an actual human but then when I read more it took a sharp turn and I thought it was funny. I really enjoyed this story. I really didn't expect the story to turn out the way it did which was a little funny. I really enjoyed it Good Job!
-Jasmine Hernandez
I love this reimagining of jolly ol’ Saint Nick, the messed up versions of beloved fictional characters are great. To be honest I’ve always thought that the elves working in sweatshops was a little overused, but the torture, now that’s the good stuff. The twist at the end of the elf actually wins out over Santa was definitely made this post even better.
Well this is a pretty interesting Christmas story. This really is an intriguing and rather refreshing new take on the old traditional tone of "Jolly Christmas", capping it all off with a common elf literally taking the life of Ol' Saint Nick. I must say that this has been a real treat to read. - Ethan Ford
Wow, this is such a new and interesting take on a traditional tale. Its creative and thrilling until the very end, well done!
The title had me thinking it was going to be about something else but I was surprised. The writing itself was very good and detailed.The details put images in my head whether they were pleasant or not. I don't know how but your story felt "red" to me. Outstanding job on the imagery and the work as a whole.
Johnny, this short story was very vivid and intense. I really liked how you kept a sense of peril and panic to make the reader feel like they themselves feel the rage for Santa. I liked this dark twist on Santa Claus. Good job!
This is very intriguing. In the beginning you talked about how you were getting ready for your first day at work, and later your story became more and more suspenseful as curiosity increased. I really like how you express your feelings through actions as one thing led to another and ending Santa Clause's tyranny over the toy shop by killing him.
- Mayur Chhitu
I really enjoyed your vivid style of writing as it makes it easier to immerse myself into the world that encapsulated your piece. The large twist that snuck its way into your story came out of nowhere and I was not expecting it whatsoever. Great job! -Ryan Kang
This piece was such a dark twist on such the beliefs of Santa Claus. Especially will associating dark elements into a story that was made to be good, it really brings out the contrast. It was very detailed, which had created such a vivid image. Great job!
This piece was such a dark twist on such the beliefs of Santa Claus. Especially will associating dark elements into a story that was made to be good, it really brings out the contrast. It was very detailed, which had created such a vivid image. Great job!
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