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Tuesday, December 18, 2018

"The Redeye" by Aaron S.



On the floor, she looks up and sees the gigantic shadow and the man fighting... 


She began to reminisce of the peaceful bygone days. 

She grew up in a small village deep in the forest, mostly isolated from contact with the empire. This village was renowned for its ability to produce hunters who stood at the pinnacle of their kind. The village who was able to tame wild beast and become allies with them. No matter what foul beast the hunters needed to pursue, they subjugated their prey triumphantly. Her name was Linde and she grew up under the tutelage of her master Z’aanta. 

One day, the king of the empire had encountered an abominable beast that seemed like it clawed its way out of the depths of hell. The king reluctantly sent out his men to slay the beast, but these men had become stone. The king feared for his empire and had believed that the people from the secluded village were able to slay this unfathomable monster. He sent an envoy to the village that was given to their most dextrous hunter, Z’aanta. Z’aanta accepted the quest and then took several of his best hunters to slay the beast. No word has come from master Z’aanta and Linde becomes worried. 

She knows that his longest hunt has only ever taken 1 year and several months. She begins to talk to her companion, Kliff. 

“Do you honestly think something has happened with master?” Kliff growls in a downcast manner.
“I think it’s time we go an look for him.” 


She proceeds to exit the house, then a ground-shaking roar is let out. Nearly falling to the floor, Linde stumbles out of the cabin. She encountered the monster. She suddenly realizes the truth, that her master was defeated. The village has been engulfed in blue flames, the creature slaying everything in its sight. Linde goes back into her cabin and grabs her equipment. She exits and finds that the monster had somehow fled already. 

She becomes infuriated and begins her quest to hunt the monster that had bested her master.
She traveled to the empire’s capital in order to meet the king. Fortunately, she was granted an audience with the man and had learned that her master had traveled towards the north. She then headed north of the empire. Encountering several clues on the whereabouts of her master. There Linde had met an old acquaintance of Z’aanta and herself. Her name was Atalanta and she had known that Z’aanta had embarked on the quest as she had housed Z’aanta for a few days. Atalanta told Linde that he had went to the west in order to pursue the beast. And with that said, she traveled to the west.
While they were venturing through the mountains, she spots traces of the monsters footprints. Linde follows the markings and finds her master. She started to weep... Her master and her fellow huntsman had been turned into stone. She hugs Kliff in despair. Moments later, an arrow falls from the trunk of a tree. There was a note attached to it written by her master. She reads, “I fear I have little time for this world. My legs have been turned to stone already. Linde, I know you will come out to look for your foolish master. It is not wise for you to track this creature Linde. There is a very old companion of mine down in the far south east. His name is Marsalim and he will be able to aide you on your quest. I hope you can truly forgive this foolish master of yours...” 

As with the newfound knowledge Linde had gained from finding her master, she makes for the south, the land of the deserts. She finds the city where she would meet with Marsalim. Linde begins to ask around if anyone knows the location of Marsalim and some kind pedestrian advises her that he would be drinking in the bar. She heads over and of course, she finds the target. 

He questions her, “I don’t have any money to spare... wait who are you?” She replies swiftly, “I am the pupil of your former companion Z’aanta.” 

He says, “Z’aanta? I haven’t heard from him for 3 years now. How’s he doing?”

Linde woefully responds, “My master has been turned into stone by the creature known as Redeye.” 


Marsalim began to show a slight discomfort with her words.
He says nothing for a short period of time and then sternly asks, “Where is the Redeye?” 


Linde replies, “I believe that it’s near this city.”

Marsalim nods his head and pauses to think for another moment.

He states, “Let me get some equipment and then we can converse about how we defeat the monster.”

They then head towards the ruins of the Sunlands.

There they find traces of the beast and a small camp right outside of the ruins. They enter it and see several men turned into stone. They find a path leading deeper into the cave and follow through it. They see the horrid beast demolishing the foolish men who dared to challenge it. 

Marsalim then hands over an amulet.
He explains, “That amulet has the power to negate the power of the beast.” 

Time continues from where it stopped
She refuses to lose and ignores the pain. Looking at her companion and Marsalim. She grabs her sword and returns to the fight... 

The beast has succumbed to the mighty hunters. It is laying down in pain. Marsalim exclaims, “You have taken too much, repent for your actions!”

The beast achingly roars. 


Marsalim and Linde begin to let out a thunderous shout and simultaneously cleave the Redeye’s head off. Standing there, they let out a sigh of relief. Linde drops to the floor and begins to cry. She had finally avenged her master. They exit where they fought the beast and then they hear some men yelling. They rush over and they see that it was the people who were turned to stone. Linde immediately thinks that this curse that was casted upon her master was lifted. She lets Marsalim know and returns to her demolished village. 

And she finds the one she had thought she had lost...

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

Really nice piece! I often come around to reading things like this every now and then, but with much more words usually. I was surprised you were able to cook up something like this yet make it seem relatively interesting!! I don't really have a knack for story telling but I can tell this is well thought out, overall, really nice!!

Skylir Ford said...

First off, I like how creative this piece is-from the names of the characters to the abundant imagery. I especially like how the story is paced, there weren't many indications of time and yet the story just flowed naturally and smoothly. I also like how towards the end during the battle against the beast there are almost lapses in the protagonist's viewpoint, which I think makes for a great/dramatic effect. Lastly, I love the last line "And she finds the one she had thought she had lost..." which I thought was very poetic. Great job!

Unknown said...

This was an incredibly interesting fictional story. Reading the story of how the main character, Linde, embarked on her travels to take vengeance on a beast that destroyed the village was quite remarkable. I enjoyed the added conversations and dialogues that allowed the characteristics of some of the characters to be presented. It also gave some emotion to the characters to add to their reason to go on the quest to slay the beast. This was overall a great piece to read. - Jacob Ramirez

Nicholas Santamaria said...

This piece was really creative! I thought that the way you structured it was pretty great and it had me pretty invested in the plot and characters. I definitely wouldn't mind seeing more stories in this world!

Alicia Garcia said...

Great job on your story! I loved the imagery given and the way you described how the main character felt towards her master. It had provided her with motivation to hunt down the monster and the audience with the understanding of why she went to risk her life. I was very intrigued from the beginning and the way the story had pulled me in was incredible. I especially liked the ending where it had implied that she had found her loved one, it gave me a sense of satisfaction that she was able to get back what she thought was gone forever. Overall great job Aaron.

Sara An said...

An adventure to defeat a ferocious beast that sprays fire and turns people to stone? Sounds like fun! This was an incredibly creative story with an intriguing and well-planned plotline. Having the curse be reversed with the slaying of the beast was a nice addition as it led to the satisfying ending of Linde meeting her master once again. Great job!

Ivan Larrondo said...

This is a really good story. I enjoyed the creativity you had making the names and developing the plot. The main character was really well developed. Also you did a really good job developing the interaction between the different characters.

Anonymous said...

This is an absolute masterpiece, it is just so creative and descriptive, the story was truly immersive and was super interesting from the start to end. The structure of the story was well put together and how this story brings back the nostalgia of just reading comics as a kid.

Unknown said...

Carlos Villegas
I was hanging on to every word!!!! This was so creative and genuinely fun to read. The build up and the character development were outstanding and I would love to read more of this!!

Unknown said...

Carlos Villegas
I was hanging on to every word!!!! This was so creative and genuinely fun to read. The build up and the character development were outstanding and I would love to read more of this!!

Anonymous said...

Aaron Saladbar, your piece was phenomenal. You brilliantly used imagery and character development to create a story was a pleasure to read. Great job.
-Braden Bailey