Tuesday, November 29, 2016
"Saved by a Blessing" by Margarita L
I wasn't always this way, there was a time when I was just an ordinary girl
from a village at the foot of the mountains. Those were peaceful days, filled with
happiness and no worries. Our good king made sure that the kingdom prospered
from the cities to the villages and that we had no invasions to worry about. Our
king hated conflict, war was a last resort unless necessary, yet there was no
better warrior or tactician in the land; we had very few enemies for that matter.
He never lost a battle until one day he fell ill to a terrible curse. Our once good
king is now controlled by a dark wizard, fading his mind into a distant haze. Only
I, a young sorceress of sixteen, can defeat the dark wizard and cure the kingdom
from his evil.
But let me tell you how I came to possess such magic. It all started when I
was a little girl, like about ten years old. I am the middle child of five, two older
brothers and a younger brother and sister. It was winter and a blizzard had just
passed about a week ago when it was safe enough to go out of the house again.
We went out to the lake to skate and play. The water was as solid as a rock, at
least that was how it looked like. As we were skating, well more like sliding, a
strong wind came and blew out the doll of my little sister’s hand. It landed some
feet away from her almost to the middle of the lake. I went to retrieve it for I was
closer to it. I picked it up and as I was about to return the ice began to crack. I
froze. My brothers were calling me as they came closer but I told them to stand
back. I saw how my second brother got the two younger ones off of the lake. The
oldest as trying to get to me and told me to slowly walk towards him. I was very
scared as I saw how the ice cracked beneath our feet. I was still too far away to
jump into my brother’s arms. When suddenly the ice shattered beneath me and I
fell in. All I could hear was my siblings yelling my name. I tried to swim up but the
water was so cold it felt as if it was pulling me down. I was running out of
strength so I let myself sink. Then I saw my sister’s doll floating down towards
me. I felt a wave of determination come over me, I had to be there for her, I had to
give it back. I grabbed the doll and started fighting to get out of the water. Then I
felt a warmth from my heart that spread throughout my body. It gave me
strength as I saw the hole from which I fell get closer. I broke from the water and
gasped for air. As I reached out to hold onto the ice I felt a pair of arms grab me
and pulled me out of the water. Then those arms embraced me ever so strongly.
It was my oldest brother. He had managed to get close to the hole. I embraced
him back and he started crying. When we separated I sneezed and told him that I
was very cold. He only laughed a little and took off his cloak and placed it on me.
We walked back to the shore where the others were waiting. They came and
embraced me all. I knelt down and gave the doll to my sister only for her to
embrace me again. Then I said, “Well, isn’t anyone else cold because I am.” We
laughed and headed home.
That night, I had trouble sleeping as my head beat like a drum sensitive to
the sounds of the world as the wind blew outside. It felt as if all my senses were
enhanced and I could hear voices whispering all around me. Then a melodious
voice of a woman called my name and everything became still. A light appeared
outside my window and when I opened the shutters they resembled blue fireflies.
Not wanting to wake my family, I snuck out the window onto the snow and
flowed the lights into the forest. I came upon a glen where a willow and a woman
with ethereal beauty stood in the center with a myriad of lights glowing all
around. She turned around and bid me to approach her and I recognized her as
the voice who called my name earlier. I asked who she was and she answered
that she is the spirit of the Earth and who shed warmth to me when I fell in the
lake. She admired my determination to live, of not giving up as easily, of
prioritizing someone else's life before my own. Therefore, the only way of saving
my life was to bless me with her magic. She explained that my magic consisted of
manipulating energy and invoking natural spirits to my will, and with it the
responsibility of keeping the balance of the earth. As time passed by, I discovered
the extents of my new power and with the years my magic power only
augmented. It didn't take for the village to discover my power. They were so
awed by my abilities that they agreed to keep it our secret. I have been the
protector of my village since then and now with the king cursed I have risen up to
free our kingdom from the darkness. Accompanied by my siblings, carried by the
prayers of my people, and aided by renegade warriors, I go toward the castle to
fulfill my destiny of being this land’s savior just like she was mine.
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10 comments:
This story is incredibly well written and I was able to quite easily make a mental picture of the events described, I like how it focuses on the characteristics of dedication and generosity. Great job!
Great Job Margarita! The description of the sorceress was magnificent and simple so that the story was easily told. Great Job!
I feel like this work sets the backdrop for a good story. The whole time throughout the lake scene I was kinda picturing an adventure movie in my head with music and everything, haha. I also enjoyed the way the main character seemed to easily embody her own character; she felt like an actual person.. who was blessed with powerful abilities, lol. Nice job Margarita.
This was very well written; your descriptions of the characters and scene at the lake help pull the readers into the story, and this story leaves me wanting to read more.
This was a very good piece. I enjoyed the background you gave the main character and how you built up the events to make it lead to the current event. With the use of imagery and detail, I was able to get a mental image of the accident at the lake, the after effect the main character had and the spirit of the Earth. Good Job!
Excellent. I adore science-fiction having to do with mythical beings and unforetold magical abilities. I appreciate the fact that your main character's will to go on had less to do with self-preservation and more to do with fighting to stay alive in order to continue watching over her loved ones.
This story is amazingly creative. I really enjoyed just how different the subject matter was and truly appreciated it. The way that the story starts off a bit in the middle is interesting and really does add a layer of suspense for the reader. The way you describe the kingdom really does put the reader in a time period of their own and because the time period and overall setting is so different from the current setting of today i really think it helps the reader distance themselves from the real world and submerge themselves into the story. Good Job.
First, the title brought me to this piece, but reading the story, just wow, very good imagery, I could just picture everything. The frame you used to tell the story was interesting, nice story!
The story was great!! The main characters background, the amount of imagery, and the lessons taught were just amazing. Good Job!
Amazing!!!! Wow Margarita! I feel like your title goes well with your piece of work. I really enjoyed reading this, I even felt like I was in your story because of the great use of imagery. You described everything so well and ultimately I enjoyed so much it was very great. Stringly well planned and everything was worded greatly thanks for sharing this piece with us.
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