Have you ever wanted to see your life crumble apart? Maybe
there was just a burning desire in you to take the low road to nowhere. Or,
perhaps, you were just looking for a fun way to give up on yourself entirely.
But how could you ever stoop that low with all of the day to day motivations
urging you towards your future? Well, what if I told you that failure is easier
than it sounds? After minutes of research on top of years of practice, I’ve
successfully compiled together a step-by-step process that you can follow to
successfully stop any growth in your life, dead in it’s tracks. It is an easy
process that you can utilize in order to become the worst version of yourself
possible as it slowly eats at your life. I call it, the cycle.
Step 1) Ignore any problems: Just
let the pieces fall where they choose. Life will just figure things out for
you. Ignorance is bliss after all, so why should you care? Issues in your life?
Just sit idly by and wait for something to change. Everything will fall into
place one way or another. Or, if that’s not your style, you could always try
the other extreme and wallow in self pity. It’s not your fault. Passing the
blame onto something else can be an effective choice. Feeling sorry for
yourself is a sure fire way to make no progress in your life.
Step 2) Have no aspirations: It’s
important to not bother trying to set your own goals, just sit by and wait for
something to happen. Pro tip, when it comes to getting nothing done, over
thinking can be an invaluable asset. It has the ability to create unnecessary
stress in your life, while keeping you from moving forward. Also, don’t forget
to complain as often as you can about all the progress you’re self hindering.
Everything you do is up to you, so make sure you seal the deal of doing
nothing. After all, good things come to those who wait and don’t do anything
productive with themselves.
Step 3) Get Comfy: Finally, create
a bubble of comfort around you that keeps you safe from anything interesting
that comes your way. Don’t be bold enough to try to change things, that might
take work. It is much better to just compromise with everything and everyone.
You know that idea you had about learning to play guitar? Just go ahead and
drop that, it might end up being worth your time invested. Remember that cute
girl from class you thought about talking to? Yeah, might as well forget about
her too. Who cares if she might be into you? What does it really matter that
you might discover a passion for music. Do not do anything that could risk
getting you out of your comfort zone.
That’s it, all it takes are these three easy steps and
you’ll be trapped. Although, the beauty of this plan is that you could even see
failure from utilizing only one of the steps. Take it from me, I’ve used almost
all of these tips and it has guaranteed no results, countless times. Just
follow these guidelines and you’ll get nowhere in no time!
17 comments:
This piece had me laughing the entire time I was reading it. From that very first question you asked to the last sentence, I was cracking up. I was intrigued by your title, wondering what you meant by getting "stuck in a cycle" and as I continued reading I understood what you meant. I'm not sure if this piece was meant to be comedic, but it was actually really funny to me. I'll be sure to take those three easy steps haha. Awesome job, I loved it!
Such an ironic piece but so eye opening (or a slap in the face) as well,going through the motions of the days becomes to easy in life of a full time student; we definitely get 'too comfy'.
This was probably one of the funniest, yet most relatable stories I have ever read. I like how the truth is hidden in the sarcasm making you really think about what is said. I guess seeing how bad failure is in a comedic way is able to really hit people hard at home and possibly fix this. Great story!
This article was really such a good reality check. It made me think about my life and how often times I feel like I stick to my same routine every single day and never going out of my comfort zone. Although I will be learning in my classes I sometimes don't bother to learn about or try something new. You should write a part two that's how to be a better you.
This was an entertaining piece, due to the irony and how much I am able to relate to these steps! I really enjoyed the rhetorical questions in the introduction! Nice Job!
This piece was sarcastic but really effective. It demonstrated how people get stuck in their ways and are scared to push themselves out of their comfort zones and work hard for their goals. By illustrating exactly the opposite of what a person should do, it made the reader reflect on what we should be using our time for and how we should value change and hard work in our lives.
This piece was so comedic and ironic! It also had an underlying reality check knowing I and many others do some of these things many times throughout life. Your piece gives a comedic How To list to a problem many people have today and shows readers the reality of taking the easy way out. Overall, it gives a very effective, comedic reality check. Great job!
I enjoyed reading this piece; the blatant sarcasm really helped to emphasize the results of giving up in a humorous way that makes it an interesting read.
I loved reading this, it had me laughing all throughout it. The sarcasm in it makes it an interesting, and enjoyable read. Also, it had an effective result, considering how true and easy it is to give up on yourself! Being in high school, often this happens to people or yourself. Great Job!
I really like your sarcasm and humor that is obviously visible in this piece. Basically your piece states everything one should NOT do, and is so effective in the sense that you demonstrate natural actions in tough circumstances. I really like the message that is derived from your piece: the easy route doesn't necessarily get one to better success, rather that, it is hard work that brings in greatness. And through success, it makes it more enjoyable to know that one actually worked hard to get themselves where they are. Not only that, but also makes their experience a learning experience, which in my opinion is the best teacher in life.
This was very funny, but also hit too close to home. I seem to be doing a lot of those steps and it helped me realize how ridiculous some of them are! I really enjoyed the comedy in this piece and the sarcastic tones only made it better. It points at the everyday struggles many people face and it's very eye opening. Nice job!
This was a funny and enjoyable piece to read. The way you described your step-by-step process created a sarcastic and ironic tone throughout the story. Even though this is what seems to be a satirical piece, the idea of how people often go through the same "cycle" in their everyday lives, is readily apparent in your story. Overall, this was a very interesting story to read!
As an active participant in all of these steps and whose life is falling apart, I can definitely say that this piece is full of nothing but truth. It was genius to make this a step by step plan toward failure that we are all incredibly guilty of following as seniors suffering from senioritis! Wonderful use of humor in the piece to engage but also playfully encourage the audience to reflect on their habits.
This piece is honestly so funny, Nathan. Right as I read the first line, I knew that this would relate to me in so many ways. Especially at the point of our senior year, as the arrival of college acceptances creeps up on us, our emotions are so messed up by this point that failure seems like our only endpoint in life. Once I finished reading the piece, I realized how condescending it is, kind of making me realize that this same cycle I am in is truly unhealthy and maybe I should start thinking about the rest of my life. Also, I think that structuring this piece into a tutorial is hilarious in that anyone can follow along and relate to what you wrote.
This piece really utilized blatant sarcasm to highlight three things that many of us Seniors are currently going through, myself specifically. We all have the subliminal desire to want to do follow these steps, especially ignoring any problems and staying in our comfort zone. Though your three steps was a process to do nothing, it was satirical and conveys a message of what we shouldn’t do on a daily basis. Great piece!
This was a really funny story especially since it was pretty relatable given all the stress of Senior year and you often think to yourself "What's the point" and always feel like just giving up on everything. I liked how you were able to get what you needed to say in three steps that were to the point and simple, as it is supposed to be in order to fall into this "cycle." Hopefully, we can all get our lives together but we seem to be stuck on step 1 all the time just trying to ignore everything and putting it off until later. Great message Nathan, it was the funniest story yet!
I thought this was definitely funny and sarcastic, but also hard hitting as sometimes we allow ourselves not to take challenges or make sacrifices. However, I can say that throughout high school and especially this year I've pushed myself harder than before.
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