I
remember the day, like everyday I remember waking up to the sound of my family.
They are always up so early and I would have no other choice, but to wake up
with them. We would always love
traveling to places. We love to wander the woods and explore new things. Man I
love how beautiful nature is. The warm sun always hitting my beautiful colors
making me warm and full of happiness. I love seeing the flowers bloom and how
their colors shine with a bright delagate texture. I love the food I eat and
the air I breathe. Birds flying at patterns that can amaze many and bring them
to tears. The sky, bluer then blue, having clouds all over giving a beautiful
piece of art to look at. The trees, oh my goodness the trees! They hold such
beauty with the green leaves and brown textured bark. It gives me so much
shade that I can sleep there forever. My family though don’t give me the time
to enjoy what this beautiful world has to offer. No matter how nice nature is,
my family and I always have to keep moving to different places. After quite
awhile of traveling, we began to enter a city. So many lights in this city, I
think darkness never existed. So many cars and people honking their horns and
many people having road rage. In my case though, I don’t like being in these
type of places. Its always cramped and noisy, I mean, I NEED TO FIND A QUIET
PLACE TO REST! I found a tree line so I figured I go to it in hopes of finding
something quiet to sleep at. I left my family for now, but I figured I meet
back with them soon. As I kept on walking towards the tree line I began hearing
a lot of crunching noise from the leaves that have fallen from the trees. I
begin to get scared and start to run, faster then I ever ran. The crunching had
then stopped and I figured I lost whatever was following me. I stood at one
place catching my breath. Then I began
to think about the beautiful nature again and how much I love living. Then after
that I just heard a loud noise,”BOOM!” Everything went black after that. I
couldn’t remember anything after that noise. Although I began to open my eyes
finding myself standing in clouds. Everything was white and it looked as if I
was flying. Then I looked down through the clouds and saw my body. It was a
horrible sight! I saw people stuffing my body with some sort of food and
putting me in the oven. Then they took my body out and set it on the center of
the dinner table surrounded by a family. They begin to bow their heads and
pray, then they begin to feast. It was so horrible and I wondered,”Why are they
doing this!” Then I remembered, that my mistake was wandering away from my
family… a day before Thanksgiving, I hate being a turkey!
Find the shape and tell it!
22 comments:
This was an interesting story to read, completely unexpected ending but I loved it just as much! I love the detail you used in your story because it really helps the reader visualize your story. It definitely was unexpected about how the main character ended up being a turkey, but that's what is great! You used your writing skills to create a story that people wouldn't be expecting. I think this was also perfect since we just had Thanksgiving not too long ago. Overall I really loved and enjoyed reading your story!
Expressing how you're thankful for everything you have in life such as the food you eat and the air you breathe is perfect for the November season because of Thanksgiving. Your perspective on the holiday season and the imagery used explained enough of what you're thankful for without bluntly starting off the piece like everyone else does with, “What I’m thankful for is…”. Great Job Jorge! :)
Expressing how you're thankful for everything you have in life such as the food you eat and the air you breathe is perfect for the November season because of Thanksgiving. Your perspective on the holiday season and the imagery used explained enough of what you're thankful for without bluntly starting off the piece like everyone else does with, “What I’m thankful for is…”. Great Job Jorge! :)
I love this story. This story was adorable. I loved the plot twist. At first I thought it was just you and your family but it turned out to be you were a turkey. Also, I love the fact that you expressed the love for nature. Well done.
This story was funny. When reading it i thought it was a human(you). I thought maybe a nuke dropped, or some type of explosion happened. Then when you said someone was eating you, i thought it might have been a dream, then you said that you hate being a turkey. It all makes sense now. Great work.
Logan Donoho
Per 1.
At first, I thought this was a romanticism piece because of all the appreciation and imagery about the beauty of nature. However, at the end, I was sort of wrong because this story actually wasn't about a person's love for nature at all! This was definitely entertaining to read and the plot twist at the end was nice. I didn't expect that ending and I was really shocked when the narrator blacked out (because I was like 'what happened?!!' before you revealed that it was actually a turkey!) Nicely done!
Fiona Cheung
Period 3
This was a very interesting story, but I had a good time reading it. In the beginning, I imagined that you were just a regular person. I thought you loved traveling with your family and exploring the outdoors/nature. When I got near the end, I figured out that you were a turkey. That was a very surprising ending. Also, I loved how you described every detail of nature. It made me visualize all the beauty nature has. Great job and I commend you for writing about the theme of Thanksgiving.
Jessie Santos
Period 1
I found this too be a very interesting story and I also thought it was very funny good job. -melodie baptiste period 1
This story had me cracking up in the end. The imagery in this story was well written. I could imagine a boy standing in the clouds, before I knew it was a turkey. At first, I thought a boy and his family had been shot, but then I got to the turkey part and I was so surprised. I really enjoyed reading this story.
- Valarie Ly
- Period 1
The imagery in the story is spot on because I could picture everything and it was also very entertaining because you described everything really well and it was also very detailed to nature.
The imagery made this more enjoyable because it helped me imagine what was going on in the story and you have a great deal of emphasis on nature. I liked how you made this fit into the Thanksgiving theme but it wasn't cliche which made me enjoy it even more. The ending was great and made me laugh. Poor turkey though.
Wow! I enjoyed your use of imagery, in which you described the beautiful simplicity of nature during autumn. I also loved the twist! At the start of your piece, I definitely wouldn't have guessed the fate of the poor turkey! This piece comes from your heart and your good sense of humor shines through.
I loved the plot twist at the end, it was funny and unexpected. At they beginning of the story I thought the speaker was a human, but then I got to the gun fire part and then I thought the speaker was an animal. In my head I dismissed the idea that the speaker was an animal because that is a weird thing to do and then I got to the ending. The imagery that you included was amazing and very detailed. I loved your story!
Emily Gonzalez
For most of the story i was wondering what was happening ,but as I continued reading I realized that you were a turkey that was hunted and going to be eaten. You did a very great job grabbing my attention by confusing me.
In the beginning I thought that you were talking about a personal experience. Then you hit me with the line, "I saw people stuffing my body with some sort of food and putting me in the oven". I was not expecting that at all. I really liked the way you incorporated thanksgiving dinner from the eyes of the turkey. It was quite comical, which really made it easier to get into the piece. JOB WELL DONE!
PD.5
Kayla Weathers
That was such a cute story! AW how sad! Never would I have thought that it was a turkey. I was beginning to find it a bit odd at how much the character loved nature. You really got me here. And at first I thought it was about cannibals who ate the guy/girl. I was a bit confused and creeped out, but you finally cleared it up, in the end. I really enjoyed the story for it was very well-written. I loved how the turkey "went to heaven" in the end. That was adorable! Somehow you were able to make me feel sympathy for the turkey but at the same time have a good laugh at the ending "I hate being a turkey."
Jorge, this was literally so great. The plot twist at the end completely had me, I imagined some cannibalistic scene. The imagery and personality you created were so dynamic. I completely loved this story and it was completely perfect for the season, awesome writing!
-Aubrianne Milton
Period 5
Whoa this was great! I loved the twist at the end of the story, but I am more impressed with how you were able to create a separate storyline in the beginning that incorporated the Romantic element of Nauturalism, resulting in a serene sort of tone that then moved to one that was much more ominous. Thank you for this creative work!
The imagery!!!!!!! It gave the story a interesting dynamic that allowed me as a reader to fully engage all my thoughts into the events unfolding. Then the ending... just wonderful! great job!
Nice job, bro. The imagery was done quite well. Also the ending was pretty funny. I honestly didn't see it coming. Good work
Christian Ortega
Prd5
Very good story! The use of figurative language and surreal imagery really sticks to the reader. I really enjoyed the story's plot and how your experience shaped your mindset.
Pd. 5
Hunter Fierro
Honestly this story was so funny because this whole time i thought that you were actually talking about your life but no you were a turkey.I didn't even know turkeys can go to heaven .
Marco Garcia-Ordaz per.4
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