Pages

Tuesday, October 20, 2015

'The Date" by Joseph B

Prologue

 It was a stormy night, a prison bus full of convicts was on board. One of them was Robert Zombie, a man who turned into a killer after he brutally killed someone at the age of 13. During the long drive to Illinois State Penitentiary, a mysterious person was wondering in the middle of the road. The shocked bus driver tries to avoid hitting the stranger, causing the bus to go off track and rolling into a meadow. The figure goes to the crash site and recovers Robert. However, the guard has survived the crash.

One Year Later

“Its my day,” I whispered to myself as I comb my hair. I just cannot believe it happened, I’m finally dating the girl of my dreams. Her name is Charlotte. I’ve known her since eighth grade and now I’m taking her out on a date. As I leave my house and enter my car I think to myself, nothing can go wrong , but for some reason, deep down my soul is telling me that this is a mistake. Her house is only a five minutes away by car. Once I reach her house, I get out of my car and force myself to walk to her door. I knock and she answers.
“ Hey Chester” she said with her soft voice and gave me a hug.
 “Hey Charlotte, you look amazing.”
     Once we got to my car, she asked me a very strange question. “Do you still talk to Robert Z?” That’s a name I have not heard until his escape from the bus.
“I haven’t talked to him since junior high. That was like eight years ago.” I said with a slight chuckle.
“C’mon, you two were like the bestest of friends. What ever happened to that?”
“I guess we both changed. After that incident back at the shack, I just realized I was hanging out with the wrong person.” On the last day of eighth grade, Robert was sentenced to two decades in prison for killing someone.
“Did you at least visit him,” she said with an irritated voice. “He was your best friend and since you betrayed him like that, you should have at least said sorry or something to him.” “You're right maybe someday when we cross paths again I’ll apologize.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea
.” “What do you mean?”
“Well, what if he has a grudge against you now.” “I guess, I just hope not though.” We finally arrive at this fancy restaurant called La Veille de Sanctifier . The name has always freaked me out for some odd reason, which is why I’m confused on why Charlotte chose this place. Right before we walk in I spot a person in a plain mask staring at me. “Is something wrong, Chester?” Charlotte says. I turn to see a paranoid expression on Charlotte’s face. Then I look up and the figure is gone. “No, no everything's fine. Let’s go in.” I open the door for her.
“Bonjour. Do you have a reservation?” The French hostess ask with a friendly smile.
“Hello. Indeed we do. Its Chester, party of two.” “Oh yeah, right on time too. Follow me.” We followed the woman to this table with a candle already lit. “Here you are. The waiter will be with you in a second.” The hostess said while we sat. She then walked by me and whispered, “I hope your first date is extra romantic,” and walks away. We waited for the waiter for five minutes, but in the meantime we just talked about current events. Then the waiter arrives. “Bonjour mademoiselle et monsieur. My name is Éric and I will be your waiter today. Can I start you both off with our most romantic drink, la forme ?” He then gets out his pen and pad. “Uh sure why not,” I responded. “OK and I’ll be right back with your drinks.” He then put the pen and pad away and went to the kitchen. I then look toward the door trying to remember the masked man outside. “Here comes our drinks,” Charlotte points out. “Here you go monsieur. In our restaurant it is tradition for the gentleman to drink first.” “All right then, here we go.” I take a sip from the wine. “Its strong and kinda stings...in a good way though.” “I’m glad you like it.” He says. I notice that he has a mischievous grin on him. Then it hits me. I feel light headed and then everything becomes a blur. “Chester, are you alright,” Charlotte says with a worried but foolish look as if I’m faking this. I try standing up, but I fall. Then everything is black. I open my eyes to a white room, my legs are chained to the wall. Where am I, I thought. Wheres Charlotte? “Hello anyone there?” I ask, expecting an answer. Then a sliding door opens to reveal the same figure from the restaurant. He turns his head to the corner as if telling me to look in that direction. I turn to find a decomposed body wearing a guard's outfit. “Wwho are you?” I asked paranoid. At that moment another person entered the room but this one was smaller and slimmer. “Hello Chester.” I immediately recognize that voice. “Charlotte? Why are you doing to this?” I demanded. “My friend wanted to say hi.” Then the taller figure takes off the mask. My stomach grew sick I knew that at this moment, it was personal. “Robert?” “No, that man in the corner, he’s Robert. I’m Michael the only survivor of the bus crash. I’m here to avenge my brother’s death by making you suffer.” “You ... you're gonna kill me.” “No, time and isolation will. Goodbye Chester. Oh, and nice to meet you.” Then Charlotte came to me bent down and kissed me on the cheek. She then got up, left the room with Michael, and locked the door.

22 comments:

Unknown said...

Writing this story in the month October is perfect because everyone is already uneasy because of Halloween coming up and this story gives me the chills! The fact that Michael let Chester die from time and isolation is unique instead of having the common murder be because of a gunshot or by knife. Very creepy and descriptive :)

-Arianna Serna
Period 3

Anonymous said...

This was a chilling story!! It is just perfect for the month of October, I have to admit. Being that it gave me the spooky vibes of October I love it even more.
-Destynee Torres
Period 4

Anonymous said...

It was completely unexpected that Charlotte was going to do that, poor guy he just wanted to date the girl of his dreams:( This story is perfect for Halloween time. The imagery was very nice as well, it sure spooked me out at the end. Overall nice job with this story!

Legend Holman
p.3

Unknown said...

I really appreciate how you added a prologue because it set a really ominous tone for the entire story! I also like how descriptive you were about the main character's feelings and his actions. The transition from feeling super happy to uneasy was very well done and made me feel sooo sorry for the guy. You matched the October/Halloween theme really well. I really enjoyed it! Good job!

Fiona Cheung'
Period 3

Unknown said...

Very interesting piece. I liked the imagery you created which happens to be well fitting for the time of year. You really captured the essence of spooky stuff within this piece.

Unknown said...

I was a little confused but once i read it again, i immediately understood! I enjoyed the prologue. For some reason it reminded me of the game the Walking Dead, which also gave of the entire theme of the story. It was creepy and twisted. Perfected for the time of year! Really good job!

Unknown said...

I was a little confused but once i read it again, i immediately understood! I enjoyed the prologue. For some reason it reminded me of the game the Walking Dead, which also gave of the entire theme of the story. It was creepy and twisted. Perfected for the time of year! Really good job!

Alena Awan said...

When i first read the piece i thought that it was going to be a typical love story where in the end the two characters get married, but the plot twist really had my mouth dropped open. This was a very interesting piece and twisted close to Halloween making it extra creepy. Awesome Job!

Alena Awan
Period 2

Anonymous said...

This story was very good and scary you put so much amazing effort into it. This story is very well written for a Halloween story did you know it was actually called "All Hallows Eve" before it was actually Halloween. Halloween is one of my favorite Holidays. When the leaves all fall and turn that orange and yellow that's when you know November and December is coming. October is when it gets cold and you get to have the best memories like trick or treating and getting candy,dressing up and having a good time with your family.

Period.1

Katlyn

Anonymous said...

I really like how you chose to write a scary story around the time of Halloween. You also used good imagery and details to set up the tone of the story.
-Noah Andrus Period 5

Unknown said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

This story kept me anxious on what would happen. I thought that his friend survived the bus crash, but then it turned out to be the guys brother which Chester's friend killed. It had a very good twist in it. The plot twist was very good in this story, which it turned even better when Chesters girlfriend was kind of in on it also.
Logan Donoho Per. 1

Unknown said...

This story kept me anxious on what would happen. I thought that his friend survived the bus crash, but then it turned out to be the guys brother which Chester's friend killed. It had a very good twist in it. The plot twist was very good in this story, which it turned even better when Chesters girlfriend was kind of in on it also.
Logan Donoho Per. 1

Adrian Modesty Pd. 4 said...

Wow...





That was Awesome!!!!!!!!!!!
The betrayal was a great touch. the fact that the girlfriend was in on it was great too.

Keep up the good work!
-Adrian Modesty
Pd 4

Unknown said...

This story sent chills up my spine but I loved it. I liked how you made Chester's death more agonizing by having him die of isolation and starvation.
Johnny Delacruz
Per 2

Jewls said...

Oh. My. Gosh. This is an amazing story!!! I enjoyed every bit of it and loved every single detail you put into it! It made me want to keep on reading which was definitely worth it. It was a fantastic story and I love how the skill of writing seems to suit you so well! Kepp writing stores because this was definitely worth it ~Julianna Alvarado period 1

Anonymous said...

This was a fantastic piece! Adding the prologue really added depth to the piece. The twist at the end really made the piece. It really ties into the theme of Halloween. Keep up the great work and keep on writing! I can’t wait to read more.
Joseph Jacinto
Period 5

Unknown said...

You totally blew my mind!! This story was very well-written and it's such a perfect story for Halloween. You'd usually expect a scary ghost story or something along the lines, but instead you did something quite different and still gave it a scary vibe. The plot twist totally blew my mind. I really felt bad for Chester. All he wanted was a date and when he finally got one, it turned out he was being used by her. I did not expect that at all. You did a really good job.

Unknown said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jakari Thomas said...

This story was incredible. I was a thrown off a bit by the transition of setting from a prison bus crash to a date, but it was tied back into the story in the end, which was also a bit unexpected because I expected something completely different due to the foreshadowing of Robert's revenge. I wouldn't say it is a scary story, though the thought of death by isolation in a closed off room is a bit unnerving, but more so a suspenseful story.

Unknown said...

The spooky vibe your story gave off made it a perfect Halloween story! I loved how you were able to not only make it extremely interesting but continue to tie each different scene/thought all together. Your amount of details used in the story made it so easy to picture what was happening.
Megan McCann
per.5

elton said...

Chilling to the bone. Ive never seen someone make a scary story so original like this. I hope you keep writing more stories like this.