Find the shape and tell it!
Monday, May 4, 2015
"This Is Not Goodbye" by Kat V
Let me tell you the story of the girl and how she quickly fell into the grips of love.
She never understood love and its power over someone.
She stood to the side unamused with the idea of love for she believes the emotion is artificial and null.
She had lovers but never enough to love them.
Until one day it changed when she met the boy.
The boy whom she thought would/ could change her heart.
Her non beating heart. Heartless creature with no love to profess.
It all started on the weekend where the girl was traumatized in events that will forever be in her mind and she was left in her weakness.
The boy comforted her, caring for her as she wept on his shoulder while he whispered to her that everything will be alright. Making her feel like she wasn't alone in her battle anymore. He had told her that he finished the song she had asked him to learn months ago because of everything that happened and that warmed her cold heart.
Then before she knew it or even before he knew it... Their lips touched ever so lightly against each other. Unsure yet soft.
They had kissed.
To the girl it felt as if there was more there than just friendship, but she couldn't think the same for boy. She just knew that it was not like anything she has ever felt before.
They both knew that whatever was to happen between them... It would nearly be impossible... But to the girl impossible was the best part.
Now she feels she has to push away her feelings and pretend that they never existed in order to protect herself.
She has always had boundaries but now the boy has penetrated them and has entered her weakest place, her heart.
Every time he looks at her now, all she can focus on are his big brown eyes.
If she focuses on anything else about him she will be tempted to kiss him or to even utter the powerful words.
He believes himself to be nothing, but to her she believes everyone is something. Especially him, it's not everyday someone can enter her heart.
Now she's afraid...
What if he leaves?
He's already with someone so why should it matter?
It doesn't matter how much he cares because it will never change.
Even if he promised he will never chase after the other girl again he will still do it. She's his priority and she always will be.
Doesn't matter their moments or their feelings.
It will never change.
The girl wishes it would change for she feels her heart only hurting even more as each day passes, but she puts on a smile. Smile indicates strength while a frown indicates weakness.
She will not be viewed as weak.
She suffers in silence and always will.
But she can't help her heart...
She's afraid that her heart has finally learned a new emotion... An emotion no one else has ever ignited in her...
That's what she fears most... How strong her feelings are for him.
She figures that in a few weeks it is probably that their paths will not cross anymore.
She is off on her journey and soon he will be off on his.
However deep in her heart... She hopes... No... She knows that this is not good bye.
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28 comments:
good story i had a great time reading it keep writing i seems to have a efect on people
This was a really good story! I loved the emotion you put into it. It made it even better to read, it really had an impact on me because it was so touching. The way the character described how she felt was amazing. I would love to read more from you, keep on writing!
Wow...I can totally relate to this right now. I know exactly how the girl feels because I'm soon going to have to leave the one who makes me feel this way as well. But in time, I am certain that we'll meet again, there's no doubt. This piece was absolutely amazing! I love the fact that you were able to make someone feel as if they can relate! Good Job!
-Ashlyn Barnes P6
This story was quite heart warming and sad to read. It is almost as you are reading the story you go along with her journey of emotions that she feels for the boy, with the climax being that she is worried and then the calmness breaks over her head in a moment of clarity. Overall this was a good story, good job.
Dean Garcia period 6
I think this was a good story. I liked how the story was narrated. It gave the reader some insight in the girl's emotions, but we weren't all knowing. I think this story is easy to relate to and leaves enough gaps for people to put in their own story. Good job.
I feel like every girl can relate to this story in some way. We meet someone we really like and it smacks us back in the face. I enjoyed the emotions you put into it. Good job
Wow great story even thought im not a girl really great job loved your story feel like it can realte to a lot of girls every where and i really liked how the story was narrated. cant wait to read more in the future.
Hi Kat! Your piece was a rather powerful one, definitely tugged my heart strings there. I loved how you first meet the girl as on with steel walls that are impenetrable, or so she thought until she met that one boy who brought down all of the walls. Something she never thought anyone would ever do, which is probably why she was in such a disbelief about love. But I loved the ending, how she was scared of love; considering how she never truly experienced it, but she was willing to keep going anyways because she knows that there may not be an end. Wonderful job!
-Kimberly Tsuyuki
Period 6
Your piece was amazing ! I enjoyed reading your story (: I loved how you used a lot of details. I enjoyed the emotions you put into it. Good Job
I really enjoyed this piece. I enjoyed the specific language and world choice used to show the effect the boy had on the girl, and how it revealed her vulnerable emotions. I also liked the vivid description of the different emotions the girl was feeling, and the somewhat hopeful ending. Great job!
This piece was truly amazing and heartbreaking!! I really enjoyed this piece! I loved the way you wrote the piece and make great detail along the way to help the story go along!! I really enjoyed reading this piece and it was a nice read!!! Good Job!!
Sarah Skibby
Period 6
I honestly thought this was going to be about graduation but it wasn't and i got something a whole lot better. This little piece was great and very romantic, yet different. You see things from the narrator's perspective and see how something so simple can be so complicated. Overall a great piece. Great Job Kat.
Angel Ramirez
Period 4
What a great piece Kat! I really enjoyed how you described the girl's emotions and how they were affected by the boy. Also, the narration was excellent. Great job and keep it up!
James Phillips I really like this story because it really makes you think about what love really is and some people can take that
for granted so I really feel, keep writing like and you will have the hold world reading your books. GREAY JOB!!!!!
This was such a great and powerful story I absolutely loved it. I loved structure of the whole story and how every line was a different feeling to not only the girl but to the audience as well. I loved how you put so much detail into a couple of words that made the whole story so powerful and simplistic at the same time. I also loved how this could relate to almost every teenager who is so scared of the thought of "love" and scared of getting too close to someone. I really loved this. Great piece!
I was expecting this to be about graduation but I love that it’s not. You put so much relatable emotion into this. everyone at one point is scared of love or the idea of it and what it can lead to in the worst case scenarios. you captured all of that really well, Great job Kat.
sara arredondo
period 1
Awwww! This was such a cute story. You did an amazing job. I can't believe she didn't tell him that she liked him.It's amazing how one person can change you.
P.2
Jocelyn Rangel
Kat,
This piece was so beautiful! I definitely connected to it and appreciated the way you structured it. The flow was effective and you have a way of pulling the audience in and provoking feelings. The amount of detail you included was great and made the story just that much better. Love is a relatable topic and you did a great job of displaying that.
Leasia Spicer
period 4
This is a great piece. I love how some things are kept ambiguous until after the fact. For example, she says she can;t be with him but as a reader I didn't understand until later when she said he had a girlfriend already. I'm curious as to whether or not this is based on true events but I guess that's part of the ambiguity, isn't it? Interesting piece for sure. Good job.
Wow! Kat this was a great piece! I loved how it was very detailed and meaningful. Even though I've never been in love, I can feel the emotions through your piece. Great job keep up the great work.
-Philip Ahn
4th
Great story! I love how you used a lot on detail especially when you were talking about her love for him and how you described the boys big brown eyes and how you just made the story very interesting! Amazing job I loved it!
I love how you wrote this with a sense of removal from all emotion. Its lack of emotion adds an unexpected element that makes this piece stand out from other "love stories." Nice use of detail, explicit and ambiguous. Good job in making the reader feel as though they are really in this girl's mind as well.
What a great story! It made me sad how she never had the courage to tell him how she felt about him. I think that this piece is a piece that most of us can relate to in a way, because we all have had that one person that we can never really approach. Great job! I loved it.
Melany M
Per. 1
Hey Kat this is a powerful story I loved how you worded the whole story. I love this story because it's unique I don't think any story will quite be like this one. There isn't a happily ever after in the end which coordinates with reality. However though there isn't a happily ever after there isn't a horrible ending two. I like how you've left a whole chunk of space for the people to continue the story in their own ways. Whether the happily ever after will come or not will be yet to be found out. This was a great piece Kat and is my favorite.
I really enjoyed your writing. You made the reader feel what the girl was feeling and it was something a lot of people can relate to and I like that aspect of the writing. There was a clear rise and fall of the emotions in the girl and that made the story even better. You did a great job!
This was an amazing story kat. It was amazing how you portrayed their feelings for each other. Great Job
oh how much i love this story. it is so touching. Good Job! you should write another story because i really liked this story
~Clarissa Rojas
Period 2.
Kat, well this topic about love and how it can deeply effect someone is a common topic I think no matter what everyone can relate to. The feeling this girl tells us in the beginning of feeling betrayed and lie to because of her belief in this "love" is what most stood out to me. Other than that i truly enjoyed your piece good job! :-)
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