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Monday, May 4, 2015

"The Long Wait" by Angel G


Wife’s perspective;

It was a normal day, I woke up & I woke him up. I made him breakfast, just like I did for the past 15 years. The only difference of this morning was he was in a rush. He had an important meeting that could apparently "make our lives better if it goes well". Once he left, I woke our 2 kids up got them and myself ready. I took them to their bus and left for work. It was a great day at work! I got a promotion! I couldn't wait to get home and tell the kids! We could finally move out of our apartment! As soon as work ended I got a call. The caller ID said "George”, and of course I was happy when I answered because I had great news to tell him! Instead it was the voice of a panicked teenage kid. He explained that my husband had been in a car crash and the teenager, who's named Kevin, witnessed and came right away to help. Kevin said he had already called 911 and help is on the way. Kevin explained what happened in detail to me and he said that he used Georges phone to contact me. I automatically went into shock mode. I yelled at the kid and said "STOP MESSING WITH ME KID. WHO ARE YOU!? GIVE MY HUSBAND BACK HIS PHONE". God bless this kid for being so calm and patient with me because he stayed on the line and said "ma'am I promise you this is not a joke. Your husband in unconscious and the ambulance is on their way”. Kevin told me where he was and he stayed on the line until I got there.  When I got there it was a huge scene. All I saw was the ambulance people take him away. I kept saying I was his wife but they still didn't let me get in the ambulance car. I quickly got into my car and Kevin followed and forced me to take him. Luckily he was 18 so it wasn't a kidnap. Anyways, we followed and as soon as we got there they said "ma'am your husband is in a comma”. I said "what? No? Let me see him! I cried and cried and cried for a long time. But I never lost hope I always knew one day, just one day, he’s going to wake up. I prayed every morning and every night. 10 years later he woke up.

Husband’s perspective;

There was a bright light as soon I opened my eyes. I noticed I was in an empty hospital room. A lady who appeared to work at the hospital passed by the room and seemed really shocked to find me there. She immediately ran and came back with a doctor and a lady and a man. No one said a word all they did was stare at me as if I was crazy.in a calm voice the lady said she was my wife, I told her she was crazy then she cried. The doctor said I had been in a coma for 10 years due to a car crash. The doctor said I would forget most of my memories. The lady asked if they can take me home. Thank goodness the doctor said no! I DID NOT want to go to a crazy lady’s house and have to live there. Instead they called my Mom and Dad and I was very happy because I finally saw 2 people whom I know and feel safe with. My parents said I was married to the "crazy lady" and that her and I have 2 kids together, The doctor said I would have to go back home with my parents until I personally feel safe enough to go back with my "wife". We arrived at my parents’ house but none of my stuff was there. But of course it wasn’t going to be there it was going to be at my "wife’s" house. So I asked my parents to drive me to wherever my "wife" lived to pick up my belongings. Crazy thing is that I remembered EVERYTHING and I mean EVERYTHING as soon as my beautiful kids came outside with my beautiful wife. How could I EVER forget my family? Each day I pray and thank god for keeping me alive.

40 comments:

Anonymous said...

This story was very tragic and emotional. I really liked how you got of their perspective.
Good job!
~Mia Tolliver
p.2

Justin Le said...

i loved this blog and the use of different point of views, from the wife and husband. It is kind of sad to hear that the husband thinks the mom is crazy but crazy is just another word for in love. I also liked the use of irony and how the husband remembered everything after he saw his kids, showing how strong his relationship is with his children.

Anonymous said...

Wow! This story caught my attention when I realized it was the same stry but with two different perspectives. I loved the plot and how the characters developed.
Josie Starr
period 2

Anonymous said...

Hey! Very touching story. I enjoyed being able to read it from two different perspectives. I got something out of this story and its to never lose hope. Nicely written,good job!
-Vymian San p.2

Anonymous said...

Christian Black
5-11-15
Period 1

Awww. I really liked that story; I like how your separated the piece into two parts how you were able to give both the wife's and the husbands point of view of the situation. Not only that; but the story wasn't just the same thing but told in a different voice; it was a continuation of the piece all together which shows the relationship between the husband and the wife. She started it it; he ended it; however the both created this story together. Amazing Job Angel

Anonymous said...

You did a good job overall! Although you had a couple of misspelled words and run on sentences it was still well organized and structured. It was cool to read the husbands reaction when he finally woke up. I could really feel the emotion of the story and the love she felt for her husband. This was very entertaining to read!
-Evelin Conde
p.5
5/11/15

Unknown said...

I thought it was really smart to split the story into 2 different point of views. It made this story way more interesting. I thought it was really sad to hear the wife's point of view because she had not talked to her husband for 10 years and once he wakes up, he doesn't recognize her. Overall, this was a really great story!
- Shayan Khan P6

Unknown said...

this story was amasing i felt the whole thing keep making these great storys bro!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Wow that was amazing! I love how you basically split it up into two stories by making two perspectives it made the story a lot better. You could have put more details as to how he felt when he woke up and what the wife felt like when her husband woke up and didn't recognize her. But in the end, it was a very well written story! - Tatiana Nunez Per 6

Unknown said...

It had me worried for a second near the end. I thought he was going to leave the wife's life forever and the kids. The beginning is very tragic and I like how it begins with a happy event and then wham it turns into another novel by Nicholas Sparks. I wanted to cry so bad when he woke up and didn't remember his wife, but I loved how you made him remember everything when he saw his kids. That's the best ending you can have on this story. It definitely leaves the audience with such a bitter-sweet impact.
-Katheryn Valle
P.1

Unknown said...

I think its a very smart idea to have broken up the story into two perspectives! I believe that made the story so much better! well done!
-Ashlyn Barnes P6

Unknown said...

I liked your use of two perspectives though out the story. I enjoyed how you showed the emotions of his wife and how she felt and stood by him for ten years while he was in a coma. I also enjoyed how the husband couldn't remember anything but did once he seen his wife and kids together. Well done I would love to read more from you!

Anonymous said...

The structure idea of splitting the point of view into the wife and the husband was brilliant , this had made the story more interesting. It was quite sad to see that the wife had never left the husband side for ten years and had been faithful to him. This was a really great story, good job.
Dean Garcia period 6

Anonymous said...

Designing your writing into two perspectives was a very unique idea. It gave your piece an unique flavor. Good job, keep up the hardwork!
Jobelle Dauz
P.2

chris medina said...

I really liked how you used two perspectives to tell the story. It was well written and it made sense how the two perspectives in a way came together really great job. I really liked the time lapse in the story it was a really great short short story really good job.

Anonymous said...

I loved the two different perspectives in the story. It's what caught my attention in the first place. I loved how, in the wife's perspective, it was about how she reacted to the car crash and all the emotion she was feeling when she found out her husband was in a car crash and later on a coma. The emotion portrayed in the wife's perspective was powerful. Whilst in the husband's perspective was something totally different, he experienced confusion on where he is and more likely who he is. I was expecting his perspective to be on his experience in the crash when, instead, I read about him coming out of the coma and his confusion, as mentioned before. And I really enjoyed that part, he had no clue what was happening and how he didn't remember his wife or kids. The husband's perspective really added to the story in a good way. Brilliant job!

-Kimberly Tsuyuki
Period 6

Anonymous said...

This was a really good story, both of the perspectives were really good..Good job!
-Sukhmeen G
-Per 2

Anonymous said...

This is a great story! The emotions of both the husband and wife and the different perspective are well developed. Good job.
Chiquitita Annisa Period 2

Miranda Santos said...

I like how the story is told from two perspectives, from the caring and worried wife to the confused husband. I also enjoyed how each characters perspective showed the different emotions they felt from their own experiences. This was a great story and I'm glad it had a happy ending. Good job!

Anonymous said...

Good Job! way to keep the readers interested the whole time thinking whats going to happen next.
-Noah Martinez
p.2

Unknown said...

Wow, this story almost made me cry, haha. It was sort of like my blog story, I was like "wow, Angel and I should have done a collab story or something!" I liked how you showed the two different perspectives, and had the unexpected ending. I was just thinking "she never lost hope, and once her husband awakened, he couldn't even remember her, how heartbreaking". You kept me on my tiptoes! Goodjob.

Anonymous said...

Wow! i like that you depicted the wife's perspective and the husband's. You gave us the events before the accident and the devastation of it after. The mood was very stressful and sad as the wife goes through the shock and devastation after her husband's accident. But in the husband's perspective, we see confusion and shock. He wakes up to an unfamiliar place and has no clue what has happened and who everyone is. And while it hurt the wife for him to forget, the man could not help but reject her because he had no clue. The shift in the tone between the two perspectives was also great because you go from sadness to confusion then to realization and happiness as the husband remembers. beautiful job!
Danielle Delgado
Period 1
5/12/2015

Anonymous said...

This story was very moving. I had no real idea what it was going to be about and this isn't exactly what I expected, that's a good thing. This piece was so great. I'm kind of wondering what happened with Kevin? But besides that i liked it a lot, I just wish he didn't remember everything, I thought that would be a pretty great ending but then again I like sad endings. However i thought it was great regardless. Great Job.

Angel Ramirez
Period 4

Anonymous said...

I really enjoyed reading your story! I liked how you portrayed both of the perspectives. This story was really touching, I admire the strength the wife had of waiting 10 years, a decade. And even after she did not give up even when her husband saw her as a "crazy lady." I liked your imagery and your use of tone in the piece. It was overall a great story. Good job. Grace Panjaitan p4

Anonymous said...

Good Job! I like how you did the two perspectives. This story was very interesting, keep it up!

Joseph Mendez
per.2

Anonymous said...

The two perspectives really show how to people see things differently. this really was an intriguing story and opened my eye to not judging people has much because we are all different. this was a really neat story but I think a little more description could of pushed this story to a whole nother level
jesse jauregui

Anonymous said...

I love this story, it is sad but has a happy ending. The 2 different perspectives make it even better.
Kenzie McEwan
period 2

Unknown said...

Oh my gosh Angel I loved you story! I really liked how you presented the story with the two different perspectives which gave the reader insight into how each character felt and saw the events occur. Also, I liked how you didn't just stick to the same scene for both the wife and husband, but instead continued the story in the husband's perspective which made it all the more interesting. You story reminded me of the movie "The Vow" in which the wife loses her memory after being in a coma from a car accident and tries to remember the life she had with her husband. Lastly, I loved how ended the story and made the husband remember after seeing his kids! Overall, amazing job!
-Sophia Bobadilla
Period 1

Anonymous said...

This was a really entertaining story. The 2 different perspectives were definitely interesting and something new. I really enjoyed reading about the husband when he woke up.
Faisal Haque
Period 5
5/12/15

Anonymous said...

This is honestly one of my absolute favorite stories I've ever read. Reading the story from the wife's perspective made me so sad and I felt so much grief for her and what she went through. However when I read the story from the husband's perspective he gave me so much hope and reassurance of the miracles that constantly happen around us. Funny this is is that they told the same exact story. It's crazy how in life we can either view a situation as horribly life changing and be miserable or we can look at them as valuable life lessons and be thankful that they worked out for the best. Excellent work.
Haylie D Period 4

Anonymous said...

You did a great job! I liked how you made it from the wife's and the husband's perspective.It gave us more information. I thought it was really funny that the husband called the wife a " crazy lady." My favorite part is when he remembered his wife and kids.
P.2
Jocelyn Rangel

Anonymous said...

I really enjoyed how you presented your story. It was a pretty good way of telling different perspectives of the story by mentioning what both the husband and the wife had experienced during it. I'm curious to know how the husband got into the car crash though and why you decided to leave out what happened to the children during the whole ordeal. Still, you did a good job on your story and how you presented it.

Justin Presto
Per. 2

Unknown said...

This was a great story the beginning the body and the ending. It has a good plot and was well structured. I like the emotional distress you put into the story that makes the readers guess what happens and wonders how will things work out. I also like how you showed both sides of the story it's not just one sided with one perspective but two both the wife and the husband which helps build to the tragic feeling of loss of hope when he wakes up with memory loss. Great job with your story you did a fantastic job.

Unknown said...

This was a great story the beginning the body and the ending. It has a good plot and was well structured. I like the emotional distress you put into the story that makes the readers guess what happens and wonders how will things work out. I also like how you showed both sides of the story it's not just one sided with one perspective but two both the wife and the husband which helps build to the tragic feeling of loss of hope when he wakes up with memory loss. Great job with your story you did a fantastic job.

Unknown said...

Good job angel! really enjoyed this piece, keep it up

Unknown said...

I really appreciate how the structure is split into the wife's perspective at the beginning of the story and the husband's perspective to conclude the piece created two point of views of one continuously flowing story. Great Job.

Unknown said...

Oh my gosh I am in love with this story it reminds me so much of the vow! I love love story's :) I also love how you used such amazing detail! I was hooked the whole time reading it! Also I love how the man totally realized where he was when he saw his kids and then realized that his "crazy" wife was actually his beautiful wife. I love this so much great job! Also love how you did both of there perspectives! So amazing!

Unknown said...

This is really such a great piece and one of my favorites. The differentiation between the two parts of this story is something so unique and I love the blunt perspective you give of the husband waking up. Very good job and also the wife anxiety and hurt to her husbands fate is something so incredibly descriptive. Good job!

Anonymous said...

Good job angel i really liked this story keep writing!!!
Oscar Rodriguez
Period 6

Unknown said...

Wow! I really liked it and i mean i REALLY liked it! I enjoyed how in the beginning of the wife's perspective was so average and normal then all of a sudden the tone shifted! i was nearly at the edge of my chair while reading this. it all seemed so dramatic in the best kind of way! I felt the way the wife felt, the anxiety! I love how that love truly comes through in the end! Again amazing job!