He tied his boat off and started to
climb the cliffs. He knew that no one had lived to tell what was behind the
cloud, but still he climbed. It took forever for him to finally get on top but
he finally did. It was very foggy and he couldn’t really see anything. He tried
to get a picture of him on top but it was no use. Even with as much light he
had it wasn’t very visible. Anyways he was glad to still be here so he went off
walking. As he was walking it was hard for him to see and he didn’t really know
where he was going. AS he was going down the other side of the mountain all of
a sudden he tripped. He got on to a hard stop and nearly broke his ankle. As he
got up he couldn’t move. He then realized his foot got stuck literally through
some crack in the mountain. He tried to get himself out but it kept hurting and
he was stuck. He didn’t really knew what to do so then he yelled, ‘‘Help!’’ It
was no use though. All he heard was the echo of himself screaming and he was
miles away from civilization.
He then knew he had to stay calm
and try to figure a way out. He drank a little sip of his water so he wouldn’t
waste so much. As time went on by it began to get cooler and he was beginning
to freeze up there. He was there for hours and was beginning to starve even
more. He then realized he had a swiss army knife. He was so happy and began to
get hope back thinking he can get out of this situation. At first he thought
about the movie ‘’127 Hours’’ and figured he was in the same situation as the
main character in the movie. He made a tuff decision and thought it would be
best to cut off his foot. So he put his knife against his ankle with his hand
shaking nervously and began to slice himself a little bit. All of a sudden
stopped himself. He had a little cut on his ankle with blood going down.
Instead he changed his mind and just starting to use his knife like a pick axe
so he could chisel his way out little by little. He was very careful so he
wouldn’t break the blade on his knife.
Many hours went by again and the
rock was starting to go away little by little. He knew it would take too long
and he would probably starve before getting free. If not he would freeze to
death. So he kept his mind busy so he wouldn’t be freaking out. He knew he
needed to cut the part of the rock that’s touching his foot. Eventually he got
to move his foot up a little bit but it wasn’t quite enough to squeeze out.
Then the next thing you know he started felling earthquakes, and saw rocks
coming down his way. Luckily only pebbles hit him and the big rocks didn’t get
to him. Then he saw this big strong stick rolling down and he got it. He put it
through part of the crack to try to separate his foot from the ground. Eventually
he was getting his foot out little by little and he would eventually squeeze
out. All of a sudden the mountain just burst and he saw lava coming out. He
wanted to live really bad and he tried moving as hard as he could then his foot
popped out. He ran to the other side
like crazy toward his boat. He then almost tripped while running down but
stopped himself so he wouldn’t be in the same situation again. He got to his
boat and untied it and started sailing, watching the volcano erupt. No one ever
saw the mountain again after it erupted and to this day he still wonders why
the volcano erupted all of a sudden in such a cold climate and what happened to
the people that went before him and why they never came back.
16 comments:
Your titled captured my attention. Mysterious adventure! I also noticed how you did not mention a name. Which made it even more mysterious for me! I loved all the action in this story as well. Very nice piece of writing.
-Leia S. period 6
Oh my goodness, this story had my blood rushing from start to finish. I can't imagine getting one of my limbs stuck in a crack and having to choose between cutting it off and dying. I was extremely relieved to learn that the narrator decided against amputating his foot. The volcanic eruption was a nice twist to the plot - I didn't see it coming. Well done!
-Christina Tapia
I liked the way the story ended, and how it was basically survival, which I like.
-Justin H. Period: 5
From the very beginning of the story my heart was racing. I can't even imagine being stuck somewhere and knowing that there is no one around to here your cries. When you alluded to the movie I immediately cringed at what the character was thinking of doing. If this was a movie I definitely would have closed my eyes! I was so happy when he decided not to cut his foot because when he started to I thought that he would go through with it. Great use of detail to get the reader right to the edge of their seat! When the rocks started falling I thought he was done for so when he got out I was pleasantly surprised. I really liked the ending as well. In ending the story with him never figuring out the secret of the island you really left it open for an addition to the story. If this were a book, I could see another book written about the mystery of the island and what it was before he went there. Your writing was clear and concise and you kept the story going. I was interested and at the edge of my seat the whole time and you surprised me with your plot twists more than once. Great Job!
Good job on the story. All the action made me want to read on and see what would happen next
Just the amount of detail put into this story makes you think about how you would react in this situation. Even the volcano eruption added to the suspense, thinking about what if he hadn't of gotten out of the crack so soon. Suspenseful story!
Oh wow this piece was so interesting! I love how you chose to focus on a unique situation. It really made me contemplate what I would've done if I were in the same circumstances. You did a great job with including many details to make your story easy to follow. The ending was definitely my favorite, I did not expect it at all. Keep up the great work Guilrey!
Nice job on the story I love the action on this story it kept the story going -Daniel Gutierrez
Wow! When he got his foot stuck, I was puzzling on how he would break free and then I thought of amputation, but when it said that he started to cut his foot off, I was absolutely mortified. Also, my heart jumped when he almost tripped a second time -Hewie Vargas
Wow! When he fell, I was puzzling on how he would escape and break free, so when he suggested amputation of his foot and then began to start severing off his foot, I was mortified. Also, my heart jumped when he tripped and almost got stuck in that previous situation again - Hewie Vargas period 6
Great story, i like the way that it looked like the main character was going to die but was able to get out at last second
Great story, I like the way that you made it look like the main character was going to die but he was able to make it out at last second
Great story, I like the way that the main character almost died but he was able to make it out at last second
Good story! Not giving the main character a name was interesting element you've added. You definitely intensified the whole story. I'm glad that the main character was able to save his leg! -Kegan Apostol
Good story! Not giving the main character a name was interesting element you've added. You definitely intensified the whole story. I'm glad that the main character was able to save his leg! -Kegan Apostol
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