Splash! Splash! Boom!
It was another gloomy and rainy day in
the small village where Linda Everest lived. It also happened to be the big day
when she would be drowning in sadness and puddles of her own tears from taking
the SAT for the fifth time already. Linda wasn’t prepared at all, mostly
because she gave up from trying to rack her useless and numb brain to try to
solve those devilish math problems.
“Ugh. It’s no use. Whatever.” Linda gave
up for the last time just a couple of hours before the big test. Instead, she took
a nice nap but woke up to the sound of her alarmed mother screaming and hitting
saucepans to wake her up before she was too late to attend the test. Linda got
up in a flash and bolted out the door with one shoe on, bread in her mouth, and
backpack dangling off one shoulder. “I’ll be back! I’ll do my best I promise!”
The rain had momentarily taken a break, the sun peeped through the grey clouds,
and Linda really thought and hoped that this was her lucky day to finally get a
decent score on this test.
“Oh my goodness. I better hurry. Go go
go!” Linda was nervous and full of anticipation as she ran full speed to the
test center. As she was crossing a bridge that was on the way to the test
center, Linda suddenly stopped. It had started pouring again and she had to
take shelter somewhere because she refused to get soaked when she didn’t have
to. As she found shelter under the porch at a nearby café, Linda went into deep
thought. She really didn’t want to take this dumb test and lower her self-esteem,
already knowing how unintelligent she was. Full of sadness, frustration, and
contrasting feelings about her own self and whether she should take this test
or not, she suddenly bolted out from under the porch and ran straightforward. After
running towards the opposite direction of the test center, she stopped under
the pouring rain and desperately cried out, “I don’t want to do it! I want to
leave here!” After crying out her wish, Linda stepped forward into a puddle and
sank in it. “Plunk!”
She appeared out of a big fountain with
the sun shining brightly down on her. Then in a blur, several hands grabbed her
and pulled her out. She was startled and could only see the outlines of the men
who had pulled her out. Linda looked around and noticed that the men were
strangely dressed, had ferocious facial hair, and mean, savage looking eyes. They
spoke old English and it was hard for her to understand them but she figured
out that they thought of her as some sort of alien for they started poking and
tugging at her modern clothes and watch, making some “oooo”s and “aaaahh”s. The men blindfolded her and took her to their
home. After being stripped of her belongings, they took off the blindfold and
Linda could see the ancient place. Based on her observations, she soon figured
out that she was in a foreign land, maybe world. Everything was different, but
strangely, Linda came to like the land she landed in. She came to befriend the
men who captured her and learned their way of life on the alien land; she also
taught them the modern English language and some basic math and science that
hadn’t yet been discovered. Coming to enjoy the free, simple environment and
the never-ending flow of enjoyable time, where she could do as she pleased,
never having to stress about school or college-entrance exams, Linda didn’t want
to leave, although she knew she had to.
She suddenly missed her mom, friends, and her
warm, familiar room. Earnestly wishing for rainfall, for she knew that was her
ticket back, she cried and cried, hoping to fall into her own tears and return back
to her land and era. When nightfall came about, Linda fell asleep with swollen
eyes. In what seemed like a couple minutes, she awoke to the sound of hearing
the ringing of metal right against her ears. Waking up in panic, Linda found
herself face to face with her own reflection in a grey colored, hazy mirror
that looked worn out and stained. Freaked out she yelled, “AAAHHH!!” Then she
looked up and locked eyes with a familiar pair of brown eyes that belonged to
her mother. Startled, she realized she was back and that she had a test to take
care of. Linda gathered her things and again, ran out into the pouring rain.
11 comments:
What a twist! I love the detail of your emotions that rose during the events,the adjectives and overall the title, which is what captured me in. As a stressful student myself, your style of writing relates to my stressful day taking this stressful test, and you captured it beautifully. The sudden twist when she fell into the strange land was interesting and well laid out. Really enjoyed the story!
-Samar Elshekh P.3
The SAT really was dreadful and I'm sure most of us have felt the same way that Linda Everest felt. I really like the plot twists you added because it made the story really entertaining to read. You also did a really good job capturing the protagonist's anxiety and stress (because it definitely reminded me of my test day and the emotions I felt!) Good Job!
Fiona Cheung
Period 3
Oh gosh I think the SATs really got to Linda's brain! I really like the plot of this story especially the crazy twist. I feel bad for Linda, having to take the test the fifth time and her mother making such a fuss. This was honestly relatable to myself. I wish I could just wake up in a carefree place.
-Noelle Mariano
Period 2
I feel like I can relate to Linda's feelings towards the SAT. I only took it once so I can only imagine what having to take it 5 times is like. D: I also enjoyed the twist towards the end of the story and it had a reasonably happy ending as well. Great job. :D Pd. 2
Interesting story Hannah! Very unfortunate for poor Linda, but very accurate description of how hectic things feel when the SAT comes up. Just reading this gave me anxiety, but I still enjoyed the read and liked the ending also! Good Job!
Vanessa Alfaro
P2
I love how relatable you made Linda's character. I'm pretty sure I've said everything she did about the SAT at one point or another. I also really liked the plot twist in the middle of the story! I had assumed somethin bad was going to happen when she took the test, but I was pleasantly surprised. Now I wish I could have read more about this mysterious land she ended up in. Either way this was a really great story and I really enjoyed it.
-Quincy Chrite(p.5)
I was thoroughly enthralled in this piece! You did a very good job of hooking the reader to the story, and it was so effective that I was interested in the plot until the very end. It's written simply, and this is imperative to get the message and tone of the story across. All in all, it was deeply relatable and pleasant to read. Good job!
Eloy Guzman
Per. 2
Hannah!
I felt like we were back in SAT class again. I could feel the emotions and those times of self-depreciation that Linda had felt. I really enjoyed the fact that Linda got to get out of reality and go into a world where she felt more happy and more valued. But, I could feel the sense that “too much of a good thing was a bad thing,” so maybe that is why Linda came back to reality. I could relate to Linda because there are times that we just want to escape our daily obligations and dream. But, I know that there will always be a time when reality wants you to come back. And this could be related to our times in SAT class. Whenever we would go to lunch, it would feel like a dream and then we would have to come to reality: SAT class. So, thank you for bringing back some good memories. Anyway, this was a great story. I really liked the imagery and the emotions that Linda had portrayed.
Kimberly Chua
Period 2
Love your story Hannah! Oh man i think the SATs really got to her brain real good. Ouch feel bad for her but love your story because it was so interesting and described with details.Great Job!
What a great story Hannah! I think everyone has the same emotions toward that dreadful test. You captured that dread eryone was feeling the night before and the morning before. Overall ing feeling of not wanting to take the test. I’m sure that's how everyone sees it. I loved your story.
Emily Gonzalez
Period 2
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