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Wednesday, May 2, 2018

"#LONGLIVEJAMAARI" by De’ Launi T


 
It all started June first, two thousand seventeen late that night she had gone missing. My cousin Jamaari was just 17 my thoughts immediately began panicking. Phones were ringing off the hook, everyone had so many questions as to what was going on. I even began to question and try and figure out “why her? Out of all people why her?” more questions began like  “God what did you do?” “why did you have to take my cousin away like this?” My tears just continued to pour and pour out, I didn’t even get to say goodbye to her. That day felt so long and everyone was so shocked, we literally sat in the house stuck not knowing how to react besides crying. It’s crazy how life takes its twist and turns, nothing is ever certain, and the last thing I would thought of happening was losing someone so close to me. She was not only my cousin but she was my best friend, my sister, my everything, I confided in her with everything in me, we were two peas in a pod. Being so young I often thought I have my whole life ahead of me. I have plenty of time to figure out what I will become, where I will go, who I will see, and most importantly enough time to get on the correct path with God. Jammari’s sudden death proved just the opposite, life comes at you very fast and these 11 months have been nothing but ups and downs. Some days I am happy and some days I am sad. Other days I cry uncontrollably and some days I hold it all in.  Most days I understand and then my mind begins to question again. You truly never know what is going to happen to in life. That very day we had a facetime call with a brief catching up session followed by “i love yous”. We hung up and continued with our day not knowing the nightmare that was going to occur that night. As much I try and dot every “I” and cross every “T”, life will continue to happen. I must continue to move on with my life even though it may seem like things aren’t getting easier. I've learned I need make the best out of my life while I am here. I must fulfill God’s purpose, and follow his divine plan. I must continue to live through him as days become harder and harder. As the one year memory approaches I am trying to not be sad and to truly remember her beautiful smile. I must also remember to Cherish my loved ones, “However, no one knows the day or hour when these things will happen, not even the angels in heaven or the Son himself. Only the father knows.”(Matthew 24:36)


33 comments:

Anonymous said...

Launi, I just first want to thank you for opening up and sharing this impactful moment with us all. The love you have for her is truly impeccable and I know that God is going to use that love to touch others. Jamaari was a beautiful soul inside and out even with the few encounters I had with her. I know she is looking down loving you more and more each day for keeping her legacy alive. You are so strong and powerful for this. Keep loving God and loving others. Love you girl ! -Sabrina Wilkerson Per.1

Anonymous said...

De'launi, your piece truly shows the raw emotions behind a death of a loved one. You showed the confusion, frustration, questioning and sadness that no one should ever have to feel. I am so sorry for your loss. I see from your piece that, even though this loss has been a trial for you, you take comfort in your religious hope and have a hope for a future with your cousin. Although your life goes on without your other half, I am glad you shared your feelings with us.

Noah said...

I am so sorry about your loss. Thank you for telling your story and I wish you and your family the best in the future.

Unknown said...

This was exceedingly honest and i admire you highly for speaking on content like this, you let us as readers in to a part of your life that im sure you wished had never became a reality. You did it with grace and beauty and Jamaari im positive would have been proud of you. Lord knows im proud of you because this was tough im sure of it, your strong and i appreciate you.

Anonymous said...

De'Launi. As family I know the impact that this had on our entire family. This is beautiful and I'm proud of you for having the courage to share this and give God's message and also what Jamaari taught us. Thank you for letting everybody see this and for even giving me something to still learn from this after almost a year. Love you. #longliveJamaari
-Kessler Edwards

Anonymous said...

I really enjoyed your piece, and I am very sorry for your loss and can only imagine how hard of a time it was. I also admire the fact you pointed out being positive in the end and moving on, with making the best out of life and to cherish our loved ones. I agree 100% and again, sorry for you loss. Good Job

Sachin Reddi said...

This was really an eye-opener as many people our age don't expect that things like this could ever happen to us. It's a tragedy that someone like you had to go through something so traumatic. However, it's always amazing to see how people are able to move on from such experiences and continue to be optimistic with their faith.

Megan Radford said...

I want to start by saying I am so very sorry for your loss and I cannot imagine the pain you and your family endured. This piece is amazing and I could feel all of your emotions through it. Losing someone you love dearly is such a hard thing to go through, but I admire how you were able to be so positive and grow in your faith because of this terrible loss. Sometimes we don't know why God does what he does, but trust me it is all part of his plan. Continue to confide in the Lord, he will get you through all of your hard times.

Amber Duran said...

I am very sorry to hear what happened with your cousin but it is very encouraging to know that you found your strength in her memory and in God. Though it was hard for you at first, your optimism on the outlook on life was inspiring and it shows that we don't know what is going to happen but we just need to follow through with what God has planned for us. Thank you so much for sharing!

Unknown said...

This literally made me cry, this honestly gave me chills and made me realize I need to appreciate the people in my life more. I loved the way you described everything and how you explained the whole story. You did really great writing this. Good job :')

Avalon Freeman said...

This was sooo heart warming. The true love you and others have to your cousin truly shows through your writing and there is so much passion behind these words I cried. And I love how you still keep your faith in God after all of this. Honestly a lot of people don’t get to truly see this part of you and I’m sooo glad you shared it.
Avalon Freeman
Pd. 2

Anonymous said...

Hello, This blog actually got me on tears. I am sorry hear that but trust me i ca relate to it so much. I have lost someone who was very close to my heart too, my grandfather used to call me princess all the time and not only just that he treated me like a princess. I couldn't believe myself the day i lost him, i couldn't say goodbye to him, i couldn't give him the last best hug. But i guess this is what life is, you never know whats gonna happen. And like you said, we have to move on with hopes and happiness. We can't stop what it's not in our hands. Thank you so much for sharing this with us.
-Taslima Ahamed
-Per: 05

Anonymous said...

Thank you for sharing your story and opening up a very dear moment to us. I cannot imagine what you were going through in that day or even today when you look back and remember it. I will always be there for you and keep staying strong sweetie.

Anonymous said...

Your piece was well described and I could feel the emotions you wrote about. I’m sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your story.
-Dominque Madrigal
P.1

Anonymous said...

De'launi, what an amazing piece and I'm so sorry for your loss. I remember when I lost my grandpa it was like nothing I had ever felt. I always thought I would never be able to get over it but, over time I learned to accept it and learned everything happens for a reason and its up to God how he wants it to be. Thank you for sharing this.

Brianna Icamen said...

I actually started to tear up while reading this. I relate so much to your story and I admire your strength for opening up and sharing your story with us. I know it's hard and I'm so sorry to hear that this happened. I also admire the trust and strength you had in God through this hard time. Thank you so much for sharing this with us.

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry for your loss. I couldn't even imagine the pain you went through. As a believer, I am glad you still stay true to God through these difficult times. As the verse said in your piece, God knows what will happen and he allows these events in the first place. Thank you for sharing your story. I know God will replace what you lost and get the glory in the end!

-Joseph Madere Period 1

Unknown said...

I'm sorry for your loss. Your blog post presents a life lesson that was sadly learned through tragedy. This post is heart warming because I too have lost family members suddenly making a rude wake up call. Thank you for sharing this with us and thank you for the message to cherish our loved ones because that is something we all should do.

Anonymous said...

wow,I could never relate to the pain you must have felt.Losing someone so close to you really affects your overall view of life,I'm Truly glad your were able to recuperate from this horrific experience. The diction used helped develop a emotional connection to your life story,Great job and may Jamaari rest in absolute peace.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for sharing yours and Jamaari's story with us. I'm so sorry for your loss, I can't imagine losing a loved one, especially so young. Continue to spread her story and keep her spirit alive!

Anonymous said...

This is a feeling I believe that many of us that have lost someone close to our heart feel, i'm sorry about your loss. Thank you for opening up about this, this was a very heartfelt How To.
Diego Armando Carrillo
P.1

Anonymous said...

Thank you for having the courage to post this piece as it was a real eye opener on the topic of death for everyone reading. I am so sorry for your loss and the pain that you and your family endured as it is never easy to lose a loved one. I enjoyed how you continued to show strength by keeping your faith in God and continue to follow the path that he has planned for you, thanks again for sharing your story.

Anonymous said...

Love you my Launi, the loss of someone held so dearly to your heart is an unbearable pain I cannot begin to imagine and you're stronger than you could ever know. Your angel is looking down upon with the most love, you are making her beyond proud by reinsuring her legacy is everlasting. You know I will always be here for you and never stop letting the world know about the life of Jamaari. Thanks for sharing such a personal message!

Jason Nguyen said...

I respect your honesty and how open you are with this post. I've had both my grandpas pass away during the ages when I can assess some situations. Unfortunately I'd have to say I could not feel the pain you went through. I've barely knew my grandpa, somewhat of a "Stranger".

Unknown said...

It takes a lot to share something so personal, but I commend you for standing behind such a mature viewpoint. We don't always know why God allows these tragedies to happen but just know that he is using you for a bigger purpose. Trusting in your faith to get you through such a difficult time makes me see how strong of a person you are and I know you will do big things while keeping her in your heart.

Unknown said...

Thank you so much for sharing something so personal with us, I know how much it takes to do that. I am very sorry to hear about your loss, especially to somebody that you describe having such a close and loving relationship with. I agree with you, that nothing is ever certain in life but we still need to go about our days finding the positivity in them. I know it may be hard to understand God’s reasoning behind certain things but just like you said, God has a purpose and we need to keep following his path for us and live through him.
Jalynne Reyerse
Period 2

Unknown said...

Thank you so much for sharing such a personal story, I really commend you for your bravery in sharing this. I am so sorry that you had to experience something so traumatic like that, and can't even begin to fathom the pain you must have felt. I love that you were able to be so strong in your faith in times of tragedy. You are such an inspiration, and thank you for sharing a story with such a strong message to appreciate and cherish our family while we can.

Anonymous said...

Jammari seemed like a beautiful soul and from what you here wrote of her it's quite evident you two had a strong and close relationship. So brave you are to put out such a personal story, I applaud you for that. As such grief is never easy to deal with, I'm sorry for you loss De'Launi. However I'm glad that you find assurance in the fact that God has his intention for all and everything on this earth.

Unknown said...

I want to tell you I'm so sorry for your lost and thank you for sharing this personal story. Losing someone so close to you is so painful, but your faith and your strength to deal with this pain is something that your cousin is smiling at. Although we don't know why tragedies happen, we keep living to see what God has planned for us. He does have a plane for you.

Anais Moran p.5 said...

I respect your honesty and appreciate you opening up, sometimes through other peoples experiences can one learn. Im sorry this has happen to you, as some of the other comments mentioned we don't know why bad things happen. But I really hope you use this as a way to teach others your message.

Jenny Anyaogu said...

This was absolutely amazing. The fact that you were able to open up about your struggle with the loss of your cousin shows how much character you have. I am really sorry for your loss. I understand how you feel: I lost my grandfather 14 months ago and it was really rough for my family and I. Just keep persevering, and I wish you and your family the best through this one year mark, and the rest of your lives. God bless.

Unknown said...

Friend I don't even know where to begin on this blog comment. I know life only gets harder with the absence of those you love the most, but like you said everything happens for a reason. In fact we don't know when we w=are to leave this earth, but what I do know is that you loved Jamaari with all of your heart. It hurts to see you broken over her being gone, but I know you are very strong and can overcome it all. You got this sis, wipe your tears and celebrate her. Live for her. I love you and I will forever be her for you.

Anonymous said...

What a struggle you went through. You are brave and you are strong for making a story out of your pain. I think when we put creativity into our emotions, it really helps us in a therapeutic demeanour. I really enjoyed this De'Launi. I'm sorry this happened to you, but saying sorry isn't enough when you've lost a loved one. Just reading your story has shown me your character and your strength, even though I don't personally know you. I am happy that I got to know a part of you through this. Stay strong and stay amazing girl!!