As I sit here, hiding
and locked away from facade that lies beyond the door, this one thought remains
inescapable: I have much to fear. My mind, plagued with the afflictions of
panic and terror, is seldom assuaged by the consolation of fixed convention that
this expanse provides. The crowded company of this habitation tremble with the
ground as the courtship between Earth and Sky is sparked with Zeus's might. I
have cowered beside them in this harrowing room for years with day bringing no
greater illumination than night ever could allow, and from this darkness I have
been led to a myriad of burdening questions. What will become of me if I leave
the comfort of my conventions? Will my journey ever bear the fruit of
completion, or will my efforts lack the fertility to conceive success? I admire
the valiant souls that depart from the consolation of our homely routine. Few
eyes have seen the conclusion of the prismatic brimstone path that lies just
beyond the door. Most have lost their way, crashed to the depths of diffidence
and hopelessness in their hopes to find the Crock of Gold at the end. The risks
posed by such an endeavor are too great for I. Leastwise here is invariable and
undemanding. I can spend my efforts sleeping away the days, attempting at peace
and comfort. Yet, herein exist no peace or comfort. I contend day to day with
the life I live and the life I covet. I’m locked here, hidden away and
fatalistic of my being forgotten. I look out the window, yearning to see the
Light unseen. Light has been unseen in this room by the furthest of my
recollections. Even now, not a star in the sky to share my gaze.
But then─I saw
something. A brightness broke through the blank plane of the sky. It was
beautiful, a heavenly body whooshing through the emptiness. Never in my life
have I been bestowed with such a magnificent sight. The prospects of my
dreams─once forlorn─now illumined with aspiration and ambition. I must follow
it. I crept through the dark crowded room, weaving through the maze of
sullen bodies making my way towards the door. Before me stood the barrier
between the facade of my conventions and the consolation of what lies beyond
the door. Am I ready? Do I harbor the strength to endure what’s to come, or
will I fall and crash like the others? At that moment the Light revealed
itself through the window yet again, temporarily consuming the darkness that
I’ve only ever known to be an abode. I was quickly overwhelmed with joy and
glee. I have never been stricken so. What I must understand is that I do much to
fear, but life cannot continue without
risk. It is necessary to gamble and roll the dice. A great deal of people may have
lost their way, however that does not allow one to be foolishly blinded by
pessimism. A great deal of people have made it through the storm that brews
outside. Such can be done by them as well as I. I stared at the door; there was
no door knob, just a keyhole. It radiated with possibilities and echoed with
opportunity. I reached my hand out, yet the door opened by its own will before me,
revealing what was at a time a hellish path, truly an opalescent passage
resembling a rainbow; bringing the thought of prosperity. Zeus's displays were
destructive and horrifying, but upon the door opening, His bolts suddenly became
a sacred light. I saw so much beauty in front of me when for so long I saw
nothing but darkness. Hence I went forward with the Light shooting through the
sky as my guide, trekking on the rainbow path as the lightning shined my way.
53 comments:
Okay, WOW! First things first, you write with so much passion and have such an incredible way with words. This was the very first blog entry I have read so far and I am blown away! Agreeing and relating to you, I read through this post nodding my head the entire time. Life is full of scary, overwhelming things but that is what it's all about! There are two ways to be filled with more happiness than fear: change the situation, or change our mindset towards it. You described it all perfectly and I know you have an endless amount of amazing opportunities waiting for you! Great job Johnathan!!
This was so great Jonathan. I loved the imagery you put in your story, it felt like I was actually in your dream watching everything going on. I felt like an angel towards the end and that was fun. Great job!
Jonathan I do not think I know you but om my gosh was this good man. I loved the imagery you used in each line to emphasize the emotion you displayed throughout the story. This story had me in awe the entire time great story and i love the passion you had when writing.
I love the descriptive writing in this story. I like how you used adjectives to make the story more interesting and colorful. The imagery makes it easy to visualize the story.
You connect with your audience so well! I can relate to almost everything you said from being fearful to understanding that it is up to me to change my perception on a situation and make it better. Your extensive use of visual imagery to describe what you saw made me believe that I was there too while the allusions to things such as Zeus and Heaven/Hell heightened the detail even more to make me truly understand you. This is a great piece of work and I congratulate you for doing so well and thank you for sharing this story with us!
No words can express how I feel at the moment. For starters I applaud you and the great vocabulary you have and how you connect it in your writing. To me it doesn't just make you look more sophisticated but to me it gives a much greater meaning to your story. Throughout your story you pulled me in with such amazement on how much it truly relates to most of us and our lives. Great job!
The intensity and seemingly confidence radiating off of the speaker's thoughts is enough to make someone stand up straight in their chair. I honestly and truly admire your high vocabulary and intense diction, it will for sure take you to high places! :-)
I can honestly say, I felt this story. I love when I can connect with a story and understand where the author is really coming from. You made your story came to life and gave your perspective and allowed me to consider mine.
Such great expressive vocabulary, the usage of imagery really brought the story alive as well as the sensory detail , it truly allowed me to visualize the setting and feel the emotions through the word choice
-Valeria Perez
-period:1
Such great expressive vocabulary, the usage of imagery really brought the story alive as well as the sensory detail , it truly allowed me to visualize the setting and feel the emotions through the word choice
-Valeria Perez
-period:1
Jonathan, from the intro to the ending it was amazing. From an amazing intro i felt like i was being submerged into the darkness with you. And your transition sentences were great as well. I felt that everything was pieced so carefully together with so much emotion. Keep it up!
I'm amazed by how you bring every word to life each word popped out before my eyes as if you had just drawn a picture. I also felt like I was writing the story with you and felt your emotions. This was truly a beautiful piece Johnathan.
Although I don't connect at the deep emotional level in which you expressed your feelings in, I can truly see the passion that you possessed when telling the story. The rich vocabulary enabled me being a reader to accurately grasp your message and message you are telling. Lastly, the allusions to Zeuss and Heaven and Hell were certainty caught on to and you utilized the literary devices well.
I loved that I could connect to this story! You did a really good job with your writing and your vocabulary is amazing. I really loved reading this and I actually read it twice because it was so good. It was so easy to relate to this story and I wish there was more to read. Good Job!!
When I read this story I can definitely relate to it because everyone goes through struggles and lose their way. The only way we can continue is to take risks to see the end of that light. Also loved the wide range of vocabulary used in the context of your story. Overall I believe you did an amazing job in giving that visualization to your readers.
-Sara Hernandez
I truthfully admire how you bring your writing to life. I was reading this and sentence by sentence I had a little movie going on in my head. Your piece has such passion and creativness in it.
This story was highly relatable and your use of vocabulary was amazingly jarring! I love how I could see the passion that you put into this story. Keep writing!
Kaitlyn Rueda
Period 6
I think your story was truly amazing in the sense that you captured the rawness of the emotions involved. I loved your imagery and believe that the reliability of the story is spectacular. Your choice of vocabulary in the story helped contribute to the overall image and tone that you were trying to present. Excellent Job.
-Eric Kim/ Period 4
I think your story was truly amazing in the sense that you captured the rawness of the emotions involved. I loved your imagery and believe that the reliability of the story is spectacular. Your choice of vocabulary in the story helped contribute to the overall image and tone that you were trying to present. Excellent Job.
-Eric Kim/ Period 4
Wow Johnathan! I really enjoyed reading your blog. It was so fascinating and just kept me interested. Your choice of words really helped put a picture in my head of what was going on. I can tell you have such a passion for being creative. I didn't want your story to end! Great job!
Samantha Ehrlich
Period 1
Jonathan, from the intro to the ending it was amazing. From an amazing intro i felt like i was being submerged into the darkness with you. And your transition sentences were great as well. I felt that everything was pieced so carefully together with so much emotion. Keep it up!
- Ernesto Chavez
This story is amazing!! The imagery and the vocabulary you used brought the story to life. I admire the passion and creativity you put in the story. Keep up the good work!
I adored your intense and vivid imagery and your immense diction to describe the blur of possibilities life has to offer! You're such an amazing writer and I'm simply speechless at your story and astounded with your writing skills! You have such an amazing talent for writing, keep it up!
This story was amazing! I connected with it in so many levels. I have been feeling the same way recently. I'm also to comfortable to take chances. The imagery you used was so vivid that I felt as if I was there. Also, the allusions you used, such as Zesus just gave the story a deeper meaning.
This story was amazing! I connected with it in so many levels. I have been feeling the same way recently. I'm also to comfortable to take chances. The imagery you used was so vivid that I felt as if I was there. Also, the allusions you used, such as Zesus just gave the story a deeper meaning.
This was such an amazing piece. I liked the way that you used imagery in this story in a way I thought imagery couldn't be used, but I also liked how you used a passionate tone in this story to make it more amazing and the more I read, the more I wanted to keep reading. -Erick Gutierrez per.4
Johnathan , this is my second blog where i can connect myself. I love the fact that you had deeps thoughts on in fear and we should face it. I totally agree that, we do waste so many sleepless night with a fear of stuff that doesn't exist. It's like rollercoasters, we always have fear that what if we fall but at the same time we do know nothing is going to happen. It's always in our mind and to get out of that, we have to face our fear. And other thing, i am totally amazed by your way of writing.
-Taslima Ahamed
-Per-05
This is truly an amazing piece of literature and it truly surprises me that this was written by a person who is in the same class as me because your knowledge and ability to write is an a whole completely different level then mine is.
Sean Bailey P.1
Wow, as I read through this i felt like i was reading a professionally written piece. I thoroughly enjoyed reading and thinking about the different persepectives of life.
This was honestly one of the most well-written pieces I've seen written by one of my peers. The imagery made it easy to empathize with the fears of the speaker. I became immersed in the images that your word choice put into my mind and I almost forgot that the feeling I was experiencing was not my own. Overall I loved this piece and hope to see more from you.
This was honestly one of the most well-written pieces I've seen written by one of my peers. The imagery made it easy to empathize with the fears of the speaker. I became immersed in the images that your word choice put into my mind and I almost forgot that the feeling I was experiencing was not my own. Overall I loved this piece and hope to see more from you.
The stark difference between your two paragraphs of the known and unknown provide the reader with emotions of solemnity, and then euphoria... One can merely applaud you for the way you weave adjectives and allusions together to create a masterpiece that reflects upon the readers themselves.
The imagery on this piece was so vivid! Your use of stylistic devices helped expand your piece beyond an average piece and overall this piece really brought the emotions of me and will do so for every reader of this great piece!
The imagery on this piece was so vivid! Your use of stylistic devices helped expand your piece beyond an average piece and overall this piece really brought the emotions of me and will do so for every reader of this great piece!
I loved that I could connect to this story! You did a really good job with your writing and your vocabulary is amazing. I really loved reading this and I actually read it twice because it was so good. It was so easy to relate to this story and I wish there was more to read. Good Job!!
Your piece was rich with emotion and extensive vocabulary. I felt completely empathy towards the speaker in this story and you've created a wonderful piece of literature. You have potential as a writer Johnathan.
As I'm reading your piece of writing I can hear your passion through the words! This is an intriguing article, I love how much imagery is here! Nice work .
Amazing! I love the way you use such descriptive words that make the story's plot stand out. I can really relate to the speaker. As I was reading, I feel his fear and that determination to overcome it. I love this piece!
This piece is such a well written piece! The imagery and the allusions are very insightful and well thought out. It really brings out the ability you have as a writer
DeAndre Siringoringo
Jonathan the way that you use imagery so well throughout your story is literally mind blowing, you made me feel as if I was there. Also, the vocabulary that you used made me feel as if this were written by a professional writer.
I absolutely love the intensity and passion of your piece. Your use of imagery such as; "Before me stood the barrier between the facade of my conventions and the consolation of what lies beyond the door. Am I ready?" made it easy for the audience to connect with the feeling of not knowing what will become of oneself if we leave our comfort zone.
-Jalynne Reyerse
Period 2
Wow! This story had me on the edge of my seat the whole time I was reading. I loved the visual imagery used throughout the story. It allowed me as a reader to lose myself in the world you created with your words. The whole story was stitched together precisely.
I really enjoyed reading your story! And for some odd reason, I related to what was going on. I know that feeling of uncertainty of wanting to do something but not knowing if it will yield good results. I loved the depth of vocabulary and imagery you used. I really felt like I was there in your place experiencing everything that was happening. Thank you for such an amazing story!
This is easily one of the best passages i have ever read on this blog throughout my years! You gave so much detail about life when viewed as dark and life when seen as hope. I feel that everyone has a dream to become something more but there is ups and downs throughout the journey. I found it really motivating how even through your darkness and struggles in life you still were able to fight for your dreams and strive to be something more!
Johnathan, I like the overall message that you conveyed through this story. One thing I took from this is the theme of not being afraid to go and face your fears and try new things. This is something I can immediately apply to my life. With that being said, thanks and great job.
This story, I have to say is so thought provoking. The use of vocabulary simply rolls of my tongue when i read it. Also, I find your story completely relatable in many ways, not to just me but to many others as well (mainly a group of adolescents).
Wow. I am completely and literally at an utter loss of words right now. This may have been the best darn piece of literature i have ever laid my eyes upon. To me, I was surprisingly somehow able to relate slightly to this poem. That looming uncertainty just consuming you right before you do something has always been a friend of mine. All in all, you used great visual imagery as well as very well vocab in this Passage. Well done!!!
-Ahmed Mahmoud
I really enjoyed your story! Your deep use of imagery brought me to another world. I had to take a few minutes to think about each paragraph as the scenes came alive in my head. Great work!
Woooow !!! This is such a fantastic story !! Johnathan this really opened my eyes up to new possibilities throughout life. You wrote with such passion. I like how you started off saying, " I have so much fear" but then the poem is about dreams !! Amazing !
Johnathan, I really liked your use of imagery as you are trying to escape from darkness. This story is like when you're trying to find yourself you're really closed off but when you do you're able to just live your life openly and freely just like this story.
I really liked your use of imagery as you described darkness. This story is so relatable in that when you're trying to find yourself, you're closed off but when you finally discover who you are, you come out of the darkness and live.
I really liked your use of imagery as you described darkness. This story is so relatable in that when you're trying to find yourself, you're closed off but when you finally discover who you are, you come out of the darkness and live.
I enjoyed you're attention to detail it was absolutely vivid. The story really conveys how difficult it can be to find yourself and its very compatible with anyone who is feeling lost. Overall great job!
Sara Perez
Period 5
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