Throughout high school, I have
fallen victim to the constant want for a relationship. While it’s very
understandable why one would want a relationship, as a significant other is
very appealing, it should not be one’s primary focus in high school. However, too
often I have let my desires take over my actions, and become a main focus
throughout high school. While this has progressively gotten worse, it stemmed
from a previous relationship that had fallen through, one where I was not
completely satisfied with the ending. This unsatisfactory ending had given me
the persistence to keep trying continuously to fall into a relationship, even
at times when it was wiser for me to focus on school work rather than just one
girl. However, as high school progressed and I began to enter my senior year, I
encountered one rejection that changed my whole outlook on what I was doing.
In the beginning of senior year over
the next couple of months, I had fallen for one particular girl, deemed
impossible to win over by both myself and my peers.. Although seemingly
impossible, I had decided to give it my all and go for said girl. While I shall
not address her personally, I shall give her an epithet; Alyssa Tandoc (she
allowed me to use her name). As said before, Alyssa was seemingly impossible,
but my persistence had lead me to believe that she could be “the one”. Although
I failed numerous times to get into a relationship before this, for some odd
reason I continued to carry on with the chase. I then proceeded to being the
process of going for this impossible yet seemingly amazing girl, as I
constructed my 36 month plan to get into a relationship with the girl. Although
I had such careful planning and the persistence to go with the plan, a measly 4
days into the process is where the plan started to go down hill. I decided to
make a small move, asking her to homecoming. While this decision did not come
easily, I decided to go for it, as it was senior year and I could only think,
“Why not?” While it took a few weeks to decide what to do and how I should ask,
I finally created the plan I believed would be foolproof. With a mixture of her
favorite movie, flowers, and cupcakes, I had worked up the courage to finally
ask her. I received a surprising and hopeful answer of “yes”, giving me confidence
as I could see and feel the happiness she had on her face when I revealed the
poster asking her to homecoming. Homecoming was extremely fun, but it
ultimately lead to a few problems that marked the beginning of a fall through.
I had developed a sense of confidence that made me more detached from the
“chase”, as she ultimately lost interest in me. This confidence had given me a
false sense of security and hope, as I believed that maybe she could be the one
I was looking for all throughout high school. I had lead myself on and realized
that ultimately, rejection would soon follow.
While my endeavors were for naught,
I still learned a valuable lesson and changed my outlook on how to find my own
happiness. After different confrontations with my own thoughts and input from
my friends, I learned that relying on others for happiness is not the way to go
about living. One of the main reasons I personally went for a relationship was
merely for the happiness it appeared to bring about. While relationships at
this stage in life are very appealing, most of the time they show no other
importance other than the development of each other’s characters. However, this
is not important if I fail to realize that I must further change and develop
myself first before I could help any other person become the best they could
possibly become. Another lesson learned was to never expect anything to happen.
One particular friend of mine helped me realize to never look for expectations.
If we expect good things to happen to us and we never act upon these things,
then we will get nothing accomplished. High school has become a learning
process for me, and while many of us would like to have a memory we can reflect
upon for happiness during high school, many of us should realize that this is a
transitional phase. As I remember my high school years, I wish to look back and
see how I have developed my own character and see how far I’ve progressed.