"It's the Journey" by Justin D

“It's not the destination, it's the journey” - Ralph Waldo Emerson.
While easy to understand, it doesn’t have the same value to someone until you’ve experienced it. I started playing my alto saxophone in 5th grade, and it was a side activity I honestly didn’t care for. I only played it during school and never did anything else. I faked the playing assignments and never listened to saxophone music. When I entered high school, I heard for the first time what a skilled musician sounds like in person, someone I could talk to and learn from. I was inspired to be just like the upperclassmen in the band, but I didn’t have the technique. So, after a talk with the current assistant band director, I made it my goal to achieve the wind ensemble, the advanced group at Etiwanda, during the second semester of my freshman year
            I started to bring home my instrument every day and practice. What I learned was consistent practice that builds technique; the duration was relatively irrelevant. So no matter the day I played my saxophone, even if it was for 5 minutes, as long as I played, the day was a success. Some days were harder than others like the time I came home late on my birthday and played at 11 pm didn’t resonate well with my parents. Although some days were tough, I felt like I was the most prepared I’ll ever be. As the first semester came to an end and as I waited for audition dates to be released my heart dropped, when my band director posted an announcement saying,  “Due to covid-19 challenges and restrictions auditions will not be held this year the following placements are assigned.”
            I was placed into a symphonic band, which is one level lower than the wind ensemble, my goal. I felt cheated that I did everything and didn’t get a chance to prove myself. I talked to the assistant band director about being frustrated, but was convinced to look at this in a positive perspective. I have already improved so much in just one semester and if I keep working I can become even better for the following year.
            Sophomore year was brutal with more rigorous coursework and increasing difficulty in music. In combination with more band responsibilities, it felt as if there was no end in sight. I slipped up on some of my practice days, and to be honest, I wasn’t as prepared this time. Around the time of audition season, they released audition music I could practice, so I knew what I had to do. I fully committed myself to practicing, even if it meant falling behind on assignments leading up to the date. I stepped into the room observing the 2 judges in front of me. Both the director and assistant band director were staring me down as I entered. I started to immerse myself in my environment and started to play. I let my emotions flow through my music allowing it to express how I felt. Between sections, I balanced on one foot because I was so nervous I began to shake my leg affecting my playing. At the end of the audition, the assistant band director gave me a thumbs up, and I felt relieved. About a week later, my heart sank like a stone. I didn't make it again, instead being placed at the top of the symphonic band.
            Falling just short of your goal is either discouraging or inspiring, depending on how someone wants to deal with it. If you let it get to you, you’ll be frustrated, or you can see it for what it is: inspiring proof that you can accomplish your goals. I took it as inspiration that I have worked my way up and now am closer than ever to achieving my goal. On the first day of the next semester, I walked into the room with confidence with no doubt in my abilities. Suddenly, as I was putting together my saxophone, I was called to the director's office. Ms Marin, the director, told me that there is a spot opening in the wind ensemble, and I was being moved up. I honestly felt like screaming, I couldn't hide my smile and I promised her I would do my best in wind ensemble.
            Achieving the wind ensemble made me so happy, but what I gathered along the way was practicing techniques and daily discipline. Those daily practice techniques carry over into all facets of saxophone. I know what steps I have to go through every time I want to learn a new song or piece of music. Whenever I get inspired by another musician's performance, I use the recording in combination with my learned techniques to develop my own musical identity. The discipline from my practice carries on into every daily task. I hold myself accountable to keep my promises and follow through on my actions allowing me to be the best version of myself.
Although the goal was wind ensemble, I did achieve it. The lessons I learned along the way are what allowed me to grow as a person. Music itself didn’t make a better person, but it was the goal, and the pursuit of the goal that pushed me to improve. It's the goal that pushes us and through the journey we grow.