Once upon a time, there was a carrot by the name of Kix. Kix lived a busy life and was always rushing places. Although he was an adult he believed fairies were real and often said he saw them. One early morning Kix was late to work and his bus was taking forever.
Kix stands impatient and perturbed “Of course the one morning I’m running late this stupid bus wants to take its time.” A turnip named Trix on a pogo stick suddenly appears out of nowhere and approaches Kix. “Don’t stress brah. Live life to the fullest. Enjoy it.” Trix exclaims. Kix slowly acknowledges the eye sore of a turnip and dryly responds. “I won’t be enjoying anything if I get fired from my job. Trix takes a deep breath and gets an airy look on his face. He begins to say, “One door closes…” Kix quickly realizes what is happening and cuts off Trix midway through his sentence. “Oh God not another cheesy saying, ” he says. Trix hesitantly says, “…I don’t know what comes after that.” Trix pogos an inch or two away as he notices the carrot’s mood worsening. Kix deadpans, “Are you serious right now?” As he speaks, the annoyed look on Kix’s face becomes more evident. “As a heart attack brah,” Trix states matter-of-factly. Kix suddenly becomes silent and focuses his attention elsewhere. In a confused tone, Trix inquires, “Aren’t you gonna help me out, man?” Kix lets out a big sigh and reluctantly turns to face the godforsaken turnip again. “I was hoping you’d leave if I stopped speaking to you.” Trix looks hurt and exclaims, “Totally not radical dude!” Kix gives Trix a dirty look at the sound of his poor vocabulary and states, “I hope you can hear how cretinous you sound right now.” Trix, in a perplexed tone, says, “Just cuz I don’t use big words like crate nose doesn’t mean I’m stupid.” Trix then begins to smile to himself as if he has learned something. Kix is unaware of Trix’s sudden revelation and instead in a sarcastic tone says, “Oh really? How so?” Trix starts laughing and says, “Well your bus pulled up a minute ago, and now it's leaving without you. Bet ya didn’t notice that huh.” Kid acquires a ghastly look on his face as he quickly turns around and screams, “My..MY BUS! WAIT DON’T LEAVE ME HERE WITH HIM!!” Kix runs a couple of feet before realizing that his efforts are futile and the driver isn’t planning on turning back anytime soon. As Kix accepts defeat, Trix is still pogoing in place behind him. He then says in a pleased tone, “Told you I’m not stupid.” Kix whips around and hisses, “Go pogo somewhere else ‘brah’” Trix, content with the outcome of the situation, listens and starts to leave. “Alright, catch you later brah.” Under his breath, Kix mutters, “Maybe in another lifetime.” Out of nowhere Kix spots a fairy, and his lifelong love for them overcame any dignity or common sense that he once had. “Wait, is that a fairy over there?!” Kix exclaims as he runs across the street. Trix seeing this turns and shouts, “LOOK OUT BRAH” Bet you didn’t see that one coming did you? Kix’s body lays still in the street as the plastic bag he thought was a fairy floats away. Kix’s spirit now seems to be talking to us. “This isn’t funny,” he says in an irritated tone. His guts are hanging out. His body has been shredded. He’ll make quite nicely for this salad I’m eating later. Kix’s spirit interjects in a disgusted tone, “You’re sick.” Trix the turnip looks at the gruesome patch of asphalt that Kix’s demolished body lays on. In a resigned tone, he says, “Guess another lifetime came a little too soon for you huh brah,” as he begins to escape the crime scene on his pogo stick. Kix’s spirit is still here and in a heated tone he roars, “Screw you, you pogo-stick-using, illiterate, hot-breath turnip dude. I don’t even know your name!” He can’t hear you, you’re literally dead. Kix’s spirit lashes out with his hot breath and fiery features and says, “Go to hell.” as he floats away. Sheesh so hostile. So caesar or ranch dressing?
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