Find the shape and tell it!
Wednesday, February 1, 2017
"The Macaroni Monster" by Dante J
I fumbled through the door, beat by the California heat. The day had hit a whopping 110
degrees and since my parents work far, I had to walk home from school. I lay on the floor for a
minute, absorbing the cold tile on my pulsing skin, while the sweat continued to pour down my
face and soak my socks. I honestly didn’t think I’d make it all the way to my house without heat
stroke, but I managed with a few bottles of water and a stop at the local park to refill.
After cooling off , I cranked the A/C down and crawled my way to the kitchen to treat
myself with some sweet, sweet pink milk. The cool milk soothed my throat and I could feel it
trail its way all the way down to my empty stomach. Finally relieved, I decided to take a shower
to rid myself of all the sweat that managed to cake itself on my skin. I kept the water cold to
contrast the current heat wave and provide myself with some extra comfort, and slipped into
some basketball shorts and a clean t-shirt.
Fresh, content, and cool (hallelujah), I made my way back to the kitchen to treat myself
with my all-time favorite meal, the gooey, thick, and creamy macaroni and cheese. The water
began boiling, I readied the ingredients and prepared my mind for the delicious feast that was
about to unfold. I strained the macaroni and returned it to the pot to complete the final step to my
masterpiece. I mixed the butter, milk, and cheese around and as I did, my mind trailed off. I
began thinking about the day I just had. How grateful I was to finally be in some air
conditioning, and how much homework I was procrastinating on.
Not a minute later, something caught my eye and I saw... IT. The thing from only my
worst of nightmares. Dangling right above my beloved macaroni with it’s eight twitching legs
hung a spider the size of an orange, hairy legs and all. Fear jolted through my body and
everything seemed just out of my control. I flung the mixing spoon in the air, spilling my
macaroni all over the floor. Cowering in the corner, I screamed high enough to break glass. With
the sudden impulse to kill the beast, I searched hastily for a weapon. Before it could enjoy MY
meal, I grabbed the nearest shoe and swatted the imposter with the might of 1000 men. It flew to
the floor and scuttled behind the stove. To this day, I’ve still not run into the spider again, but the
horrific experience haunts my mind. I sure hope I taught that spider a lesson after ruining my
macaroni, although I still feel its presence plotting the next attack.
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44 comments:
What a hilarious piece! I really enjoyed this piece and it made me laugh. Your choice of words gave excellent imagery and great diction that it carries the tone in your writing! Great job!
I could not stop laughing throughout your story! You did a phenomenal job creating a picture for the reader by using a huge amount of descriptions in your story. Your comedic diction and first person point of view made your story very enjoyable to read. You did a great job Dante!
The timing of this story is absolutely amazing. The depth of the detail was so intriguing that you did not even notice that the story originally seemed to have no clear plot, you just knew that you had to continue reading! Great imagery and syntax that made this story a pleasure to follow could be seen throughout.
Very enjoyable piece, ever think the spider was just a heat induced hallucination lol. Your details make the piece very realistic and personal; well job portraying such strong imagery to get this short piece right to the plot.
I love how descriptive you are with this. That spider sounds horrifying... I shudder just to think about it.
This piece was fun and enjoyable to read! I enjoyed the great amount of details and imagery used throughout, creating a picture of what happened, leading up to the main event of your showdown with the spider. I also enjoyed the comedy and how relatable it was. I also do not like spiders! Great job!
Hilarious as always Dante! I could imagine so clearly the details of your trials of the spider and your macaroni, like I was there! The imagery and details were perfect and comically relieving! I would love to hear more of these funny stories.
What really pulled me in was your title. I thought that your piece is very hilarious and almost relatable to people because of how insects jump and attack for your food. I very much enjoyed your choice of diction which helped make us understand how you feel. Anyways, you did a fantastic job with your piece!
This actually made me laugh out loud. Seeing the title while I was going through the list it was caught my attention and made me want to read it even more. I loved the way you described everything by using a lot of imagery.
This piece was so enjoyable to read! You pulled me in with the extent of your descriptive visual imagery, that I thought to myself "don't know what will happen next, but I have to keep reading." The story was very original and I laughed particularly hard because I too, hate spiders but I always protect my food. Great Job!
I absolutely loved your piece as it was so comedic and enjoyable to read. Your title caught my attention from the beginning and your use of imagery to describe your encounter with the monster was amazing! Great job Dante.
I really liked this piece. It was very humorous. Your diction helps make up the humor, "power of 1000 men" and also help with the imagery. It made this piece very interesting and enjoyable to read.
This story really made me smile. The title really caught my eye so I knew I had to read, and I'm glad I did. First, it made me super excited for summer and the warmer weather, then the story took a turn and raised an emotion out of me. I can understand how it must've felt for you to see the spider and hoping it wouldn't fall into your favorite snack. Anyway, I love your word choice and descriptive words. It made me feel like if I were actually there seeing this whole day pan out. Great job!
Dante this is so funny! I can really picture this happening, not only because it is so inherently something you would do, but because the details you imparted were so impactful and in some fantastic way ridiculous which only added to the comedy of this piece. You made something that may seem a bit juvenile and ridiculous seem so sophisticated and funny by your execution. Everything from the title to the descriptions were devine. Great job! I really loved this!
This story was very funny. I understand the fear of a big, hairy spider and I like the exaggeration of it's size. I like the imagery you used for the long, hot trip from school to your house. I it was very easy to imagine the events in my mind due to the details. The events were very nicely laid out and easy to follow. Overall, very good narrative, and funny.
This story is so funny! I liked your use of imagery! I really enjoyed this piece, good job Dante!
I am crying. That story was the most random, climatic, and a great use of imagery. Your emotions, thoughts, and feelings during the spiders approach made it sound like the spiders from lord of the kings and your frodo, great story.
I really like the plot twist, at first I was assuming that it'd be another story about a typical and boring hot day, but it was so sudden and unexpected when the story's tone changed to horror. Great job!
This story was hilarious, you had great imagery that made it more sudden when the spider came. Great and very well written story
I Enjoyed this story very much. The detailed imagery you gave within your story made it all seem even more real. When you were describing the spider I had to take a break because that was so descriptive and because I hate spiders to my very core. very well written and i hope that spider never comes back.
Wow. You sure showed that spider. The descptive words you used to describe the horribly hot day to the cheesy goodness of a plate of pasta was truly something I hadn't heard of before. I loved it dude.
The story had a creative twist to it and the use of your words in the story were great as well using a lot of details to paint a vivid image in our heads good job.
"the might of a 1000 men" ahahaha I loved the story it made me remember of the dreaded heat from Summer and the feeling of cooling off finally arriving home. The plot twist is definitely what gave the story its twist and climax, great job.
I really loved the battle scene between you and the spider. The imagery you used greatly helped me visualize what exactly was going on and the exaggeration you put into the situation by calling the spider a "beast" and knocking it with "the might of 1000 men" added comedy and pure entertainment to the story that kept me captivated the entire time.
This was so unbelievably funny Dante! I really had so much fun reading this and laughed throughout the whole thing. This was very imaginative and light hearted and I really enjoyed reading the story. Thank you so much for brightening up my day.
I'm really in love with the amount of humorous blogs this month and I cant be more satisfied after reading this one! I initially clicked on it because the title had Macaroni is it and I'm a fan. But, by the time got to the end I felt true pain and horror seeing how and what ruined your macaroni. Overall, good job!!
This Piece was really funny! the amount of detail you put into the story provided some really intense imagery and the exaggerations really emphasizes your love of macaroni.
SUCH a relatable piece!!! I know exactly how you felt when you tried to kill it as well as when you weren't able to and it scurried away, leaving you wondering when it would come back. I quite liked how in the beginning it seemed like a normal day and kept you wondering when the story was going to live up to its name. It was refreshing to read a story that had a little comedy to it. I really enjoyed it, good job!
I loved this piece! It was truly hilarious, from the description of the spider and the impact it had on you to the gaining strength in saving the macaroni. Also Great job in your description overall it was well done in giving the readers a vivid image of the moment.
I really enjoyed reading this piece, it was quite humorous too. It made me feel like I was really in the summer heat. The plot twist at the end was great too, good job!
This story was funny and your descriptions helped create an image of this event in my mind. This was very enjoyable to read. The story was creative and imaginative. Good job overall on the piece.
Very comical piece. The use of imagery and description left a very imaginable story for the reader to picture in their head. Hard to imagine that spider coming back soon though.
Dante, I honestly thought the monster was going to be made of macaroni. The title caught my eye right away and I knew I had to read this, the detail and imagery was awesome and so was your descriptions of a hot day in Cali. Also, I do not think the reaction to the spider was exaggerated, it's relatable to most people. I think the best thing about this story was the twist for me was it wasn't actually a macaroni monster, it was a spider (still scary).
This was so funny and relatable! I loved your title. It really caught my attention. This was so relatable I honestly would've reacted the same exact way. Your use of imagery when describing the cool sensation of the tile floor or the cold water made me feel like I was actually experiencing that moment. Great job!
I really enjoyed the light, laid back and relaxed tone that you manifested with the description of your summer routine, it really made me feel as if I was taking the day to relax and be comfortable myself. The hyperbolic language you used to describe your reaction to the spider also made for a very entertaining final paragraph. All in all this piece was entertaining to read because it was relatable in that I feel as if it cold have happened to anyone. Great job!
I like how unexpected the slider was at the end, reading the title I thought the blog was going to be about some kid that ate all your macaroni or something. I like how you introduced the story with and didn't jump right into the main idea. It made it more interesting and it made me curious to see what the story was really about. It was cute, I liked it.
The description in the beginning was so relatable, I could literally feel the details as I was reading it. I really liked how you slowly got to the point of your story and hit us with that unexpected twist out of nowhere. Your story kept me on the edge one you introduced the spider. This is truly a humorous piece with a hint of action to it. Good job!
This is a really hilarious piece, was not expecting a spider to play a big role in such a story about macaroni when I read the title. The personification used when swatting the spider with the shoe was really well said to interpret how bad you wanted to kill the spider. The description used to describe the macaroni, the walk from school and all the action done was really well done so the reader can imagine what's going on. Good job, enjoyed every word!
Im wheezing!!! This is so funny. Honestly I would so the same, even worse if im home alone. I loved how much detail you put in this like the cold tile and the furry legs! This is a funny story and I enjoyed it from beginning to end!!
This piece was so fun and lighthearted and I really enjoyed reading it. Your imagery vividly describes the struggle that so many kids in high school have to face and I certainly remember walking home in the heat prior to getting a car. I liked how your elaborate descriptions provoked the senses and I enjoyed how you turned an encounter with a spider into a duel with the "Macaroni Monster".
Nice one, Brave Knight. I really enjoyed the comedy, it's a relief from some of the sad stories that I usually read every month, so thank you for that.
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