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Tuesday, August 30, 2016

"Untitled" by Aryn L

The lights of this new world consumed my vision and I was blinded by its pure warmth.
This new world was new and different and most of all scary, threatening my fragile body. I
wanted to bark but only small yips escaped my mouth. As if instinct, a need for nutrients
overwhelmed me and I blindly crawled over to my mother who lied on her side exhausted from
the ordeal she just experienced. Little did I know the time I spent with her was a very limited
amount of time and I would soon see her no more.

*A month and a half later*
I was being carried in a brown cardboard box with my brother toward the front of some place
with a blue and yellow logo on the front. The new scents, sounds, and vibrations excited me,
adding onto my already energetic state. I jumped to stick my head on the edge of the box,
battling for space against my sibling and struggled to look around. Oh the people there you
would not believe! I wagged my tail in happiness for hours but no one neared me. I barked and
begged for someone to pet me yet the man holding the box was holding his hands out as if
asking for something in return for my brother and I. I smelled an interesting scent then turned
and saw a woman with a blonde mop of curly hair. She began talking to the man and looked at
my sibling and I. She picked me up, saying “You are just what i have been looking for.” I then
saw her hand the man two green pieces of paper and she took me. My brother was left in the
box while I was taken to a foreign car. I knew nothing of this woman and had never rode in such
a contraption before but before I knew it, my eyes had closed. What seemed like an instant
later, my eyes flew open and I was being carried into a house where a young girl grabbed for
me. I liked her alot. The way her shirt smelled and the way her brown curly hair tickled my nose
made me feel safe and I decided then that I would love and protect her. She took me up to her
room and we sat on the floor. I sat in between her legs and she stroked me, kissed me, loved
me, and named me Luna.

*7 years later*
My snout is now covered in grey hairs, the weight of my years shows in my slow step, and I am
now not the only dog in the house. I am not the pup I once was, nor am I as playful but one
thing has never changed, my Aryn is still my Aryn and she is the center of my world. I breathe
her air as she breathes mine, I sleep where she sleeps just as she positions herself around me
for my own comfort rather than hers, and this is the only way either of us will sleep a wink. I
protect her from the things she cannot see and offer her calmness in her times when tears
streak her face just as she makes sure I am always okay. She treats me as if I am her equal and
I protect her as if she is the difference between living or dying. We are connected. My heart
tears in two when she leaves every morning but I wait, patiently, quietly, sadly, on top of her
favorite pillow, counting the hours until she returns to me. I can hear her car pull up to the
driveway, followed by the door opening and the calling of my name. I bark to show her how
much I missed her and she pets me without hesitation. This moment makes all the agonizing
waiting worth it as my one true love has come home to me. I fear the day when she will return,
call my name, but I will not be awake to run to her. I fear the approaching day when I will not
feel her embracing arms around me and her soft touch that puts me at ease, but no matter
where I may be, my Aryn will always be my Aryn and I will always be her Luna.

25 comments:

Unknown said...

The story had really good use of imagery from the way you described the color and texture of certain things. The way you connected the dog's thoughts to the story made me feel like I was actually experiencing everything from the point of view of a dog. -Shaylen N

Unknown said...

Awesome first person perspective of a dog! You did and extremely well job of describing multiple senses, both physically and emotionally that the dog felt, making it feel like I experienced what the dog went through. Even with the detailed writing, the plot was continuously enticing, and the fast forwarding plot of the dog’s different ages was a nice touch as well.

Unknown said...

This story is great. I just loved the imagery you gave the audience. The one of a kind bond Luna and you have is clearly undeniable! My favorite part of the story is easily when you depicted the vulnerability that Luna had when the "woman with the blonde mop" picked her up and out of what I'm assuming was a pet store. Probably some of the best imagery I've ever read and none of this could be possible if you didn't have the unbreakeable friendship with your dog.

Unknown said...

As I read along, I felt as if I was watching a movie of you and your dog in my mind and the details you used to portray Luna's senses made me feel like the movie was really from your dog's perspective. I really enjoyed the way you described Luna's emotions as if you were sure she felt that way and from how I see it, I'm sure you two have that particular bond. I really loved reading your story, especially how you portrayed your relationship with Luna through her perspective.

Nick Mojica said...

I very much enjoyed how the dogs point of view was written. smart enough to describe love and affection and still naive enough for the reader to still know it is a dog. Also, the realism towards the end was wonderful, despite Luna knowing her days are numbered she still knows she can love forever.

Kayla Fujimoto said...

I loved reading this piece! It showed the dog's point of view extremely well and how the relationship of having an animal can change a person's life. This connection can lead to a happiness for both you and you pup. Even though there is a limited number of days, it will never change how much you love Luna or how much Luna loves you. I also loved the structure of it because it was a timeline, which represented the years of Luna's life but also yours Aryn and how you have both grown together and become accustomed to each other.

Unknown said...

I really liked how you used first person throughout the story to show how the dog might've felt and how Luna grew to know and love her new family. I related to the story and I liked your choice of fiction to describe the Luna's appearance as she grew. I love the connection you made when describing how you guys share the same things and will be there for each other till the end.

Unknown said...

This story was very enjoyable to read. The use of imagery was very well done. Telling the story through the perspective of the dog was interesting and made it that much more enjoyable to read. The bond is also very relatable to many people and their dogs or to any pet in general. It has me thinking about my dog and his perspective of it all. Nicely done!

Unknown said...

This story was so cute! I loved the concept of the point of view coming from your own dog and his love for you as the owner. And the different stages from the day he was born until he's become old really helped build up the piece, causing readers to really feel the love and connection between the dog and his owner. Overall, you did a nice job portraying the dog's story from his own point of view.

Unknown said...

This story is really good. The use of imagery and the perspective of your dog really helps the reader develop feelings and helps convey the special type of bond that a dog has with its owner.

Josephine Nou said...

You did extremely well writing out everything by including lots of details and imagery. And I really like that it was in the perspective of your dog. You also did a really good job showing the personality of Luna.

Haley Jensen said...

I thought this was so cute! I really liked how the story seemed to be about a random dog growing up in a random environment but at the end turned out to be a story through the eyes of your own dog. the imagery in your words was phenomenal, almost as though i was living the story myself.

Unknown said...

My eyes tear up due to such description of the beautiful unconditional love shown between you and your Luna. The timeline from Luna as a puppy to being yours for 7 years was actually breathtaking to understand that your comfort to Luna was life changing to her. From the simple action of taking the same breathe to the relief Luna feels after waiting so long to feel your arms around her, is so heartfelt and more family than pet kind of love.

Anonymous said...

I loved the way that the speaker was Luna because it gave a different meaning to see how things can be in a dogs perspective. I have not owned a pet but I do know of many people who do and they are very attached to their puppies or kittens. I always hear stories of how much the owner loves their pets but we don't really know how blessed and happy the pet actually feels, and this story gave a lot description that now makes me wonder if this is really how pets feel. I loved your piece and it made me feel like I need a Luna inn my life.

Chyanne Powell said...

I love the first person perpective of the dog. I also really love how you didnt flat out tell the readers that the narrarator was a dog. I love the transition from the story being about any dog to your dog. This story was super cute and really shows the loving relationship between you and your dog.

Unknown said...

I loved how this was put into a first person perspective of a dog, its very unique and profound. At first, I was confused who the speaker was in the first paragraph as it was not really obvious to me that it was a puppy but I was able to catch on by the second paragraph when more imagery of a dog's actions came into mind. The structure of the how the story was narrated really helped demonstrate the building relationship between the dog and the owner of when the dog was young in comparison when they grow older. The unbreakable love and affection displayed in this relationship really touched my heart and made me tear at the very end where she says "I will always be her Luna."

Anonymous said...

Reading your piece made me think of the special bond that I have with my own dogs, and even made me tear up a bit. The way that you wrote this in the view of your dog, Luna's eyes was amazing and added a lot to the story. The relationship between a dog and their owner is something that can not be replicated and your genuine story showed this.
-Madyson Hidalgo

Unknown said...

Reading your piece made me remember all of the special things I would do with my childhood dog. Your story really evokes an almost child like sense of joy and happiness many people went through with their pets when they were younger. The ending had me tearing up a little bit not going to lie. Great story!!

Melanie B said...

This is my favorite of all time. You use an array of imagery that helped me experienced what luna felt. Knowing that this is a experience that you personally went through made it that much enjoyable to read. I don't know anyone else that has actual REAL love for a dog as much as you. Great piece!

Jonathan Wong said...

This perspective writing was definitely very innovative, as we are obviously not able to truly know what a dog feels like. Being a dog owner myself, I contemplate how they feel and what every bark and cry signifies. Instead of seeing the side of the owner, we see it through your dog, Luna, where we can see that dogs can go through journeys in their lives as well. It also made me realize how alike dogs and humans are; how we both beg for affection and are curious of unfamiliar things and experiences. Your piece draws the bridge between dog and human, marking a relationship and bond that is raw.

Unknown said...

THIS STORY HAS GOT ME FEELING SO MANY EMOTIONS!! I love the bittersweet happiness the dog has throughout her journey. From leaving her mother and family to finding a new home, I was honestly about to cry once Luna placed her love and life onto her owner. The ending really got to me as she felt the fear of not being able to fulfill her purpose to protect her true love/ friend. This was simply an emotional rollercoaster. I love it!

Niyah Sanders said...

Showed great imagery, it was like reading a beautiful poem. The words you used really brought out the true meaning in the story. when u said "blinded by pure warmth..." it got me feeling warm things. it got me using imagery and imagining me being there. Overall good job on the story it had a lot of emotion in it.

Anonymous said...

Great use of diction! In the very first paragraph I could figure out that we were following alongside a dog's perspective. The point of view is done very well, in that I truly feel as if i was a dog and i applaud you for giving out a story with with point of view because I have never read a story like this. Another great thing that you've done well on is that you give the reader something to leave with, you give them information that widens their view on dogs. We can appreciate the depth of their world after reading their stories, because you give them the feelings and emotions that lets us connect to them on a personal level. Also, something to think about is that those who read the stories could have went to their pets and embraced them.

-Kynoa V.

Marta Kiros said...

Wow, you truly captured what it must be like to live in a Dog's world. Your ability to put yourself in your dog's shoes and use such specific diction and imagery allows people like me (who don't own a dog) to understand what it might be like to have one and get an inside look on what that special bond might be like for people. The piece was very well written and we journey of your dog's life was easy to follow. Well done.

Unknown said...

As a dog lover, I can honestly say that this is gorgeously written. With the distinctive imagery you used and the calming, soothing diction, you were able to capture the relationship between dog and owner perfectly. This is truly a great piece, and reminds me of a quote I once heard: "A dog doesn't care if you're rich or poor, give him your heart, and he'll give you his": Marley and Me (2008)