Getting my first car was a freedom and privilege that I could not have appreciated more with my life; I would assume it's like that for every teenager getting their first car. It was a 2002 Grand Marquis Mercury, and its color depicted that of a profound cherry red. The whole build of the car is almost similar to a boat, for it is prolonged and wide. My dad purchased the car for me in January 2024. In February, I got my license, and I was driving around town with my one-of-a-kind car. I took the car to school, job interviews, and anywhere else I could think of. Additionally, I took pride in that vehicle. Everyone told me that the car embodied me as a person. That connection between my car and me provided much more importance towards it being in my life. With that, I named her Vermilion. A noun that can be defined as “a brilliant red pigment made from mercury sulfide.” Mercury, like the brand of my car. Red, like the color of my car. What a fitting name!
I cared deeply for Vermilion. Every single week I took her through the car wash; I took delight in keeping her clean. “A clean car is a happy car,” my dad always told me. I never imagined myself as materialistic, but I cared about that car as if it were a person. Vermilion was there for me during my most excruciatingly painful months of 2024; how could I not take great care of her? In April 2024, Vermilion was with me when it felt like there was nobody by my side.
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During this time, I was lost at sea in a relationship where I was not being appreciated, and I was idolizing this partner rather than focusing on my own happiness and something of a greater nature. I broke my back in several different places to even attempt to keep them happy; I carried that relationship with my own love and free will. Yet, they always made it a point that they felt forced to reciprocate the actions and services I provided them. It’s disappointing how they made me feel like I was just a chore or a bill to them. I know I treated them with my best efforts, so why were they so careless with me? Maybe I treated my car so well because it’s what I longed for in that relationship of two and a half years. Needless to say, that relationship came to an unpleasant end at my junior prom. As expected, Vermilion took me home that night. I’m not sure where I would be if I couldn’t rely on her.
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As summer of 2024 began, that’s when I made a vow to move on from that relationship. I have since then forgiven my past partner, but I did not feel as though they belonged in my life anymore. Most importantly, I had Vermilion; she was the most reliable to me. I spent the whole summer with her! She escorted me to pool parties, shopping trips, and my summer courses. I went to beautiful coastal cities with her, Santa Barbara down to Ventura. We took the California State 1 highway, and we rolled alongside the glistening iridescent waves that crashed into the sand. I took her to the places I loved as a way to express my gratitude for her transportation duties. Eventually, I completely forgot about the pain from the months prior because I was having such a delightful time with my Vermilion.
During the summer as well, I had gotten a new tint on the windows of Vermilion. The windows were so dark, I had to have been looking into an abyss. I was told to be extra careful driving at night because of it.
Summer break eventually came to an end. With August, that meant school was starting back up again. Starting my final year of high school, I was anxious about my workload. This school year, I knew it was going to be such a drastic change from that of my previous years because of: higher-level classes, clubs I would be running, and finally getting hired at a job for the city.
—
At this point, I was getting too comfortable with Vermilion; moreover, I began to get busier by the second because of the workload I gave myself. I was taking her to the car wash less and less, so the dust and bird poop began to pile up. The inside began to fill with food receipts and empty water bottles. I was heavily concentrated on needing to go home to do my homework, needing to drive to City Hall to get paperwork done, needing to stop and get food, and needing to do this and that. I was so busy I couldn’t even stop to think about what the task at hand was. Alas, Vermilion was doing her very job and transported me everywhere I needed to go. I had always been grateful for her duties, but I got careless.
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August 14th, 2024, I had just gotten off work around 8:30 PM. My job tasks consist of heavy lifting since I work at an event center. The shift made my body so sore that my limbs felt like TV static. Not only that, my last meal was around noon that day; how careless of me to not eat and keep my energy up. Regardless, I believed it was fine, because I was driving to pick up food for my family and me to eat for dinner!
I never made it to the restaurant. In fact, I never made it out of the neighborhood my work facility was located in. I’m not sure if it was because of the time, the dark tint on the windows, or my exhaustion after my shift (maybe all those factors), but I fell asleep at the wheel. I awakened to a hefty jerk and thunderous bangs as Vermilion hopped onto the curb. In my confusion, I couldn’t brake quickly enough. Before I knew it, I trimmed a road sign and a fire hydrant. HOW could I be so careless? I was aware of my drowsiness and inability to drive, but the ambition to get dinner and drive home overwhelmed me.
My heart fell to the pit of my stomach; I just crashed Vermilion. The driver door wouldn’t open, so I exited through the passenger door. Upon getting out of the car, there it was: a 50-foot geyser of water from the broken fire hydrant. Looking back now, it makes me giggle, but in the moment I was mortified. I called my dad, “Dad, I fell asleep at the wheel. I ran over a fire hydrant. Water is shooting up into the sky. I’m so sorry, Dad. I didn’t mean to.” He sighed and asked me exasperatingly, “Where are you?” I told him where I was, to which he said he was on the way and would contact the police for me. I felt no obligation to weep because it was unnecessary to pity myself for being absent-minded; disappointment was the only thing running through my veins. I never anticipated myself to be so careless, yet I was.
—
It’s been a few months since I last had Vermilion; the accident happened mid-August, and it is currently October/November as I write and revise this. The good news is that Vermilion was not badly hurt. As my dad fixes her for me, the cost to repair her is about $600. Therefore, I know my story with her is not over yet. Over the past couple of months, she has missed out on my achievements. Since then, I won homecoming queen in September, and I’ve been helping greatly at my job and school clubs. Since early October, I’ve been focusing on my religious growth through catechism. To end the list, I now find myself in a relationship with someone who treats me with the utmost love and respect.
In a single year, I was able to encounter myself being the one not being cared for and later on being the one who was careless. I’ve learned that being careful is a necessity in order to maintain pleasurable things in my life, while also acknowledging that I need to be treated with care as well. With Vermilion getting repairs and hopefully soon coming back to me, and my blossoming relationship with a respectful and gracious person coming into play, one would expect that I will be attentive with the way I treat them and anything else nice in my life.
“Summer with Vermilion” July 2024
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