I remember it as though it was yesterday. It was an average day in my life, nothing interesting really occurred. I bolted through the front door, taking off my coat and school shoes complaining about the rain and how my books were completely soaked. I trudged up the stairs and slowly began to remove my drenched school uniform, peeling my tights off my legs. I threw my clothes in the laundry basket, took a shower, changed into my pyjamas, and began my homework like I always did. I made sure to call my father who was currently in California temporarily for work, like I always did. My friends and I spammed the group chat with hilarious Musical.lys like we always did. Everything was normal. Suddenly, I heard a light tapping on my bedroom door. My mother peeked her head around the corner and asked me to come to her room for a discussion. "Crap," I thought to myself. What have I done this time? I don't think I did anything. Upon entering her room, I immediately noticed my sister and brother were there also, wearing the same perplexed looks on their faces. This must be serious. At least I'm not the only one in trouble.
"I have an announcement. We will be going to join your father," my mother announced with a nervous smile, uneasiness clouding her features.
"Like for a holiday? I've always wanted to visit California!" I exclaimed. A holiday? I felt a smile take over my face as I dreamt constantly about seeing the Hollywood sign and running into celebrities on the street.
"No Ade, not a holiday. For good." Instantly my smile vanished. I've always wanted to see the Hollywood sign, but not badly enough that I'd be willing to give up my entire livelihood for it. What about my friends, people I've known since I was a baby? Did those relationships not matter? I glared at my mother with a look of betrayal contorting my features. She refused to meet my eyes.
All of a sudden, the room filled with protests and exclamations all against this impromptu move. My then 7-year-old brother looked incredibly confused. He didn't get it, but then again why would he? He will move to a new country and forget his friends in an instant. I doubted if he would even have the burden of lugging memories across the Atlantic with him the same way that I was forced to.
Thud! The door slammed harshly against the wall as my sister rushed out of the room. Perhaps she was crying, I couldn't really tell, all I could grasp at that moment was how frozen I felt. I was the type of person who hated change, and I most likely still am. I watch the same shows on repeat, eat the same meals I'm accustomed to, and talk to the same people daily. Living in America was far too much too soon for me. I wasn't ready to be bombarded by new people in an entirely new environment than what I grew up in.
As the weeks flew by, more and more furniture began to disappear. The dining table, the living room couch, even our family car which I will never know the name of as I don't care about cars that much, but I still missed it all the same. I no longer had that initial mortified feeling associated with the "Big Move" as my family liked to call it, but I wasn't completely comfortable either. Talking to my parents was futile as they already had their minds made up, and the cries of an 11-year-old girl weren't going to persuade them otherwise. July 22, 2019, was when it happened. My mother, my sister, my brother, and I all boarded a British Airways flight destined for the sunny paradise of Rancho Cucamonga, California where my cousins happened to live. 12 hours later, I stepped into my new life. The sun shone on my face, leaving me temporarily discombobulated. This was it I guess. It was time to fully embrace this experience rather than fight against it.
Fast forward 5 years, and here I am. A high school senior in the midst of college applications planning out what the rest of my life is going to look like. The only difference is now the decision is completely up to me. There is no overbearing mother selling my wardrobe to the next-door neighbor, or smothering father telling me that it is all for the best. My major, the school I attend, the courses I hope to take, and the state I choose to live in, will be my choice completely. I feel liberated. It seemed as though my entire life had been dictated by those around me, and now I have it sitting in the palm of my hand. This is all I have been yearning for since I was 11 being whisked away to a foreign country, the opportunity to make my own decisions, even if it leads me to ruin. I will navigate that ruin optimistically because at least that ruin is mine and mine alone. I feel excited for the next chapter of my life.
No comments:
Post a Comment