"Dear 'Mom'" by Oluwadamilola B.

 

Dear “Mom”

This is your one and only daughter Abigail, but you might know me as Abigiya (yes, my name has changed). I am now 17 turning 18 and my birthday is June 12, 2003, if you can still remember the day you gave birth to me. I have changed and grown since the last time you laid eyes on me; it hurts knowing you were never there for me during my small and big moments. You gave me away when I was 7 and since that day I have been through so much that even my very existence feels like some joke this world is trying to play on me. I forgot how to speak Amharic a language that I grew up speaking and to be honest I know very little about where I came from. When I was 7, not only did you take me away from my country, but you decided I wasn’t worth enough to raise, instead you gave me to the first person who would take me. That was also a mistake because that person you gave me to turned out to be a psychopath who would abuse me every day for about 4 years, but it’s ok because I guess it made me a stronger person. There is so much that you could have and should have protected me from, but I forgive you. My life hasn’t always been easy, but after some time I got better at dealing with whatever life threw at me. I am now 17, leaving for college later this year, living life one day at a time with the help of my one and only God. I leave my past behind by saying I forgive you because although giving me up was your decision, I cannot blame everything else on you. For so long I blamed myself, God, and even you for the position I was in, I thought maybe I did something to make you give me away or God if you could control everything in this life then why could you not have stopped this, but now I understand I was wrong. If it wasn’t for your decision, I would not have turned into the person I am today. I thank you because if it wasn’t for that one decision I would not know the value of family, I would not know how to fall and get back up. Now I am living a better life because I have something to look forward to, I have friends who love and support me and siblings that mean the entire world to me. I did not think I will ever feel whole again, but I now realize that blood is not what makes family; Love is and will always be the only thing that defines family to me. One day I hope to have a family of my own and I want them to never worry whether I am leaving them. To end this letter, I want to let you know that I have a new life in America surrounded with the people that keep me going every day, but I would still love to meet you one day. I can’t remember the feeling of being wrapped around your arm and feeling safe but one day I believe I will have that opportunity.

Sincerely, Abigail AKA Abigiya

"Valentine’s Day" by Raymund L

When you think of the month of February, a particular holiday pops into your mind. February is “the month of love” simply because Valentine’s Day falls on the 14th every year. For some, we enjoy the cheesy little holiday and for others, they see it as nothing special and just another day. Personally, I feel a great fondness for the holiday since it’s a day where you can express your appreciation for someone meaningful in your life in a potentially more extravagant way than you normally would.

 

For the last two years, I have had the same person as my Valentine. For people who don’t know me, the sound of having the same Valentine for the past two years may symbolize a happy and healthy relationship but to those who do know me, they know this was not the case at all. Our relationship was a complete mess despite what we tried to do to make things right. Shortly after our first Valentine’s Day together we were already dysfunctional. You would think when we realized things were not working out when we initially got together we would split ways and wish each other the best of luck but if you did you would be completely wrong. Have you ever felt like you loved someone to a fault? I know I certainly did. The idea that after all the work we put into the relationship and tossing it in the bin was just absurd for the both of us. We decided to just be friends again and our feelings for each other just hung over our heads for the next 11 months with fights sprinkled in between. Next thing I knew it was January of 2020 and for some reason we both reconnected and suddenly we were officially back together. Have you ever watched a movie for the second time and hoped it would end differently? That is the best way to describe getting back together with an ex in most cases. Things were great like how it was when we first met a year ago and Valentine’s Day rolls around once again and I find myself with a teddy bear, a box of chocolates, and flowers at her doorstep. Like deja vu, we fall apart a couple of weeks later.

 

Toxic relationships feel like the most difficult ones to get out of. I don’t have the guts to say that I ever regret the time I spent with her since at some points in time there was genuine happiness but she made me realize that it’s not worth fighting for a relationship just to be in a relationship. She made me realize that it’s okay to be single. I know it’s cliche to hear that when you’re single you get to work on yourself but it’s completely true. Personally, as I bounced back from our second breakup I picked up new hobbies, skills, and friends. She gave me the opportunity to reflect upon myself and I used that to motivate me to become a better person in general. Here we are in 2021 facing once again another Valentine’s Day. One should never feel pressured to needing a Valentine just for the sake of having one. If you have someone in mind I am not discouraging you to pursue them, I simply ask you to make sure you’re ready to take the time to get to know someone and attempt to try and build a healthy relationship with them. A bad relationship usually starts with someone who’s still carrying baggage from their last relationship. Sometimes we meet the right people at the wrong time. You may feel ready for your next attempt at a relationship but the other person may say otherwise. Patience is key and if you lack it, it may cost you down the line. I think I might just be a romantic but I love Valentine’s Day and this year I had someone in mind but I’m in no rush to get to know them so I sat out this year. Part of me thinks I am in a “met someone at the wrong time” phase since there’s a lot of stuff to work out with her but like what I said there is no rush. We are all still really young and have many years ahead of us so don’t feel pressured to find the “the one” while

you’re in high school. There are over 7 billion people in the world and you’re bound to cross paths with the right person in due time.

"The Call of the Void" by Mark J

Have you ever lied awake at night, unable to sleep because your mind can’t help but feel that something is watching you from the darkness? Have you walked past an abandoned building and felt the urge to enter, to see if there is anything interesting inside? Have you ever looked longingly into the far reaches of space or into the dark depths of the ocean and wondered at the infinite nothingness and what secrets they might hide? It’s a part of human nature, an innate desire of the mind to seek substance from nothingness. The brain is an organ of learning, of curiosity. It can’t help but try to search for something new or undiscovered within a realm of mystery or emptiness. It’s almost as if the mind is responding to an unheard call from within the shadows and it wants to discover the source. As such, I like to refer to this curiosity as “the call of the void”.

The call is different for everyone. For some it inspires thought and wonder. For others, fear and dread. It can drive the brave into becoming pioneers and the meek into seeking refuge in their own little realm of the known. No matter the effect, the call reaches out to everyone.

For some, the call takes what a person sees and causes them to overthink and fabricate false truths. They may stumble across some remnants of a creature that they have no reference for, or some marking too unusual for any known creature to create. Unable to make sense of it, they instead conjure up some rationale, attributing these mysteries to monsters and creating stories of cryptids and beasts. These tales get passed from person to person until they are turned into fairy tales and legendary myths, with truth lost to time. We have seen it with the ancient Greeks, who may have mistaken the bones of elephants or mammoths for the one-eyed cyclops, or the English who saw dinosaur fossils and created tales of dragons. The call has an effect to play tricks on the mind and cause it to go to extreme lengths outside the realm of reason to rationalize that which it does not understand.

I use the term “call of the void” to refer to any of these curious natures regarding the unknown, but the most prevalent source of the call is from the void itself, the shadowy abyss in which anything could be lurking. It’s the reason why you may have been scared of the dark as a child. You may have feared that there was some kind of monster or boogeyman lurking in the shadows under your bed or in your closet, despite there being no real evidence for this. It’s why we hear tales of sea monsters and examine fossils of creatures such as the Megalodon and can’t help but wonder what other behemoths may be hidden in the unfathomable depths of the ocean. It’s why we gaze into the deep dark of space and wonder if there is other life out there among the stars, and if it would seek to help or harm us.

These fears and curiosities shape the way we live; the call has the ability to mold our entire future. Some hear voices in the shadows and decide to search for invisible spirits as paranormal investigators. Those with an intense fascination with space become astronauts or astronomers, seeking extraterrestrial life and expanding humanity’s reach into the unknown. The mysteries of our own Earth and her oceans turn some into explorers, causing them to do whatever they can to explore the deepest reaches of the Mariana’s Trench or the countless cave systems below our feet.

The urge to explore and seek out the truth of mysteries sets us on a path that dictates our actions, and sometimes, the void doesn’t play nice. Explorers go missing, missions fail, people overcome by excitement get careless. Throughout history, things go wrong, and some tragedies inspire tales of evil forces, demons that dictate life’s mishaps. Fear of the unknown causes some to search for hope, for meaning. The call inspires many to turn to religion and may even inspire the creation of some religions themselves.

The human mind is a complex and incredible thing, always trying to seek answers for everything it can’t understand. In the pursuit of knowledge, many are put on a path towards greatness, and many more, a path to ruin. Misunderstandings and creative retellings result in literature and legends of great beasts or horrible entities, enriching the human culture and inspiring greater creativity among the minds of the curious. What we don’t understand makes us wonder, and the effect of this thought is different for each person, but your own fears and hopes can and will change your life. The void calls to everyone, but how will you respond?

                 

"Why I'm Mad" by Taryn A

Dear dad,

I’m mad at you for leaving me. I’m mad because you weren't there for my first day of kindergarten. I’m mad because you weren’t there to see me promote to middle school. I’m mad because you weren’t there for my first day of high school. I’m mad because you’re not going to see me graduate. I’m mad because you never met my first best-friend. I’m mad because you weren’t there to encourage me to play volleyball. I’m mad because you weren’t there to coach me. I’m mad because you never got to see me play a single match. I’m mad because you never taught me how to drive. I’m mad because you couldn’t see me get my license. I’m mad because you didn’t see me turn 18. I’m mad because you weren’t there to protest with me and fight for change. I’m mad because you didn’t see how excited I was to get my first college acceptance. I’m mad because you’re never going to see me fall in love. I’m mad because you won’t be there to intimidate the first boy I ever bring home. I’m mad because you’re never going to help me through my first heartbreak. I’m mad because you’re not going to be at my wedding. I’m mad because you won’t be there to dance with me. I’m mad because you’re never going to meet your grand kids. I’m mad because I can never hear you say that you’re proud of me. I’m mad because I can’t even remember what it sounded like when you told me you loved me. I’m mad because I had to get a tattoo for you instead of actually having you here with me everyday. I’m mad because all I have left of you is the memories that I have to hear from other people. I’m mad because if you were still here you would show me unconditional love and always support me. I’m mad because I know you didn’t want to leave. I’m mad because you fought as hard as you could to stay with us but it still wasn’t good enough. I’m mad because I got the least amount of time with you. I’m mad because none of this is fair.

Do you want to know what I’m the most mad about though? I’m mad because none of this is your fault. The worst part about being upset with someone in heaven is that I have no one to blame. I will never understand why the universe chose to take you away, and I will probably never fully accept it, but as long as I know that you’re looking down on me, happy with who I’ve become, I will be okay.

 

Love,

 

T

"The Last Letter" by Paulina J

 

Right at the beginning of the year 2020, I had to endure one of the most traumatic experiences in my entire life, thinking about it still makes my skin crawl. On a Sunday afternoon, my grandma walked into my room, falling onto her knees. She was crying, completely balling her eyes out, but I heard the pain in her voice. I was confused, in shock, and was told that my grandpa had been killed in Mexico. Hearing these words come to life was heartbreaking and filled my body with anger. Who would do that to him? How can the thought of killing my best friend even cross someone’s mind? He was my angel, he was my everything, no matter the circumstances.

I was lost, but most importantly, outraged. I felt my skin getting hot and my blood boiling, but the thing is I am not so mad at the person who killed him, but more so upset at myself for never responding to the letters he sent me while he was in prison, and for never answering the phone calls he made when he was released. I never thought that the last letter he sent would be the last one, and I never thought that I would never hear his voice again. I held a grudge with him after the age of nine, and for what? Who knows? I was upset at him for the pain he put my grandma through, and for the way he disregarded my mom’s feelings while she was growing up and trying to figure out what life was and make sense of it. I was upset that his actions led him to a prison sentence of 15 years, and that he was not there for me while I was growing up. He was selfish while he was here, but even then, what was the point in doing that?

Trying to justify my reasons for my actions does not make sense now that time has passed, and I realize that I should have let go of that anger towards him and made things right before it was too late. Experiencing this in the middle of the most important and hardest year of high school was beyond difficult. I was unfocused. I was confused. I would sit in class numb and exist in complete numbness. I did not want to talk to anyone, I hated society because of the evil people that were in it. I just wanted to say goodbye to him, but I could not even do that because if I even attended his funeral, there was a chance I would be killed too. No matter how much I tried to go, my mom told me no over and over again. My poor grandpa died alone, with no immediate family in his presence. The whole thing sucked, I needed to apologize for absolutely everything. Time passed, and as we all know, time heals everything. Eventually, I came to terms with it, and I forgave him through prayers, hoping he would be listening to me all those times. I realized that forgiving myself is just as important as forgiving him, it was better late than never.

Though this event brought lots of ache to myself and my family, I knew I had to continue to make him proud. I needed to refocus and dedicate myself to the things I knew he would want for me to be doing, which is making something big out of myself. No matter how much this event took a toll on me emotionally and mentally, I knew I had to step over the huge barrier in front of me and do something about it, so that is exactly what I did. I needed to get my act together because I knew it is what he would have wanted. I aimed to get a 4.0 GPA and ended with a 4.4. I quit the extracurricular activity that drained me emotionally. I got a new job, and I am now working at three jobs just a couple of months later. Doing all these things made me the best version of myself, I simply did what I had to do because life is way too short to live unhappy and having regrets. I miss him more than anyone can imagine, but I hope he is proud of me, and I hope he is watching over me every single day as I focus on my personal growth and happiness, for my own sake, and in honor of his memory.

New Writers to Read!

 All Students:  Be sure to read the entries for this group  (January writers).  Everyone is required to comment on at least THREE different pieces of writing.  You must post the comment here on the blog (below the post is the "comments" link to click) by Thursday, February 11, on Canvas AND the blog. 

Remember, comments must be positive, supportive, constructive, and SPECIFIC.  No "Good Job!" comments, unless you follow that with specific things you thought were done well in the piece.  Show them you actually took the time to read and enjoy their work!

"What is Success?" by Jordyn S

 

 

There are very few words, that if unsure of the meaning, you could not look up in a dictionary. Supposedly, every word ever created is in the dictionary; and if that fails Google never does. However, just because a word is there, with multiple definitions underneath, does not mean you truly know what that word means. For example, a word with a definition almost as abstract as the word itself: success. If you were to look up success in a dictionary you might see the statement “the accomplishment of an aim or purpose.” There it is, you know everything you need to know about the idea of success. And yet, if I were to ask my best friend what her idea of success is, she would say to have a steady job. If I were to ask my little brother he might say to get an A on his next math test. If I asked my parents their answer might be to provide a happy life for me and my siblings. So while the definition of success is seemingly straightforward, it really does not tell you anything about the idea itself.

 

It is impossible to know the true meaning of success, because there simply is not one. Every single person you ever interact with in your life will have a different goal, a different plan, and a different definition of success. An issue that often arises is when people think their idea of success should be everyone else’s idea of success. A fatal flaw humans have is to believe that what they want as an individual is the only thing anyone else could ever want, something that could not be more entirely untrue. You will be hard pressed to find a word that has more societal pressures surrounding it than success. We have heard it our entire lives and will continue to do so: if you do not do well in school you will not be successful, if you do nott go to college you will not go anywhere in life, if you do not start a family and settle down? Well then you may as well wave all your goals goodbye. Society always thinks it knows best, that everyone should

have the same idea of success. And if you do not hold up to society’s standards of success you will never be successful, right?

The truth is, who cares what society says or believes? Every single idea of success is different. And if your definition of it will make you happy, then you will have fulfilled your idea of success, which will always be what is most important. That being said, I propose an amendment to the definition of success. Rather than the accomplishment of an aim or purpose, the definition should read, the accomplishment of ​your​aim or ​your​purpose. With the simple addition of a word or two, the definition is no longer abstract, but a concrete idea, unique to each person who reads it.

 

“Success.” Merriam-Webster.com Dictionary, Merriam-Webster, https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/success. Accessed 19 Jan. 2021.