"I Lov- I Miss You…" by Kira S

     I walk up slowly from my car, after driving for much too long, with my head facing down with a picnic basket containing a blanket, some homemade sandwiches, and water bottles. Along with that, I had some beautiful magnolias in hand. I stop walking, lay out the blanket in the basket, place the flowers beside the basket, and take a seat on the blanket.
    “Hi. Long time, no see. I have so much to tell you.” I take a deep breath so I can blabber nonstop to him. “I got a letter in the mail saying I got accepted into college. I’m so hyped that I did. Graduation is so soon too. It’s going to be insane. I’m honestly ready for it. The family is doing alright as always. They’re living their best life right now if I’m honest. Oh, and guess what happened? I fell up the stairs today and almost broke my arm. A ten out of ten situation if I do say so myself.” I let out a small giggle.
      I take a pause and pull the sandwiches and water bottles out of my basket. Taking a bite, I look up at the bright blue sky taking a deep breath. I start eating the sandwich, taking a drink of water shortly after. I’m sitting, observing other people having picnics and hanging out with their friends and family.
     “You know what’s crazy?”  I pause to make sure you’re paying attention. “I haven’t had a picnic for the past, like, 14 years of my life. Mom and Dad didn’t really like them. It’s okay though, because I can have them with you now.” I started laying down, it had been a while and my back hurt. Gazing at the sky, I think about how the past year went. “Oh, random train of thought. Remember that time we went to Disney a few years ago? Honestly, best time of my life. I couldn’t have asked for a better day with you, hanging out, doing absolutely nothing and going on all those rides together. I miss that a lot. I miss being able to hang out with you.” Breathing slowly, I sit back up. 
     “It’s been six months I think. Six months since your funeral Grandpa. It was really hard at first. We all knew it was coming, but we… I couldn’t believe it. You were and are seriously the most important person in my life. I got the news and I couldn’t function at all, I stopped being able to eat, talk, or even move. I eventually got up and started functioning again, I had to. I couldn’t lay in bed for the rest of my life, starve until the end, stop talking for all of eternity. I visited every day for about 2 weeks straight and weekly for 4 weeks after that. I’m sure you remember our conversations about school and life. There’s no way I could forget.” I started getting teary-eyed and had to pause. I stood up, understanding that there was nothing I could do but move on. “It’s really hard Grandpa, and I honestly can’t understand why everything had to stop so suddenly.” I stopped before I started crying. I couldn’t cry in the middle of a cemetery in front of no one I know. That’s terrifying. 
     I started packing up my things, folding the blanket nicely, throwing everything back into the basket. I picked up the flowers and placed them right by his headstone. After I gathered my things in my arms, I took one more look at the headstone. “I lov- I miss you Grandpa. I miss you
more than anything and love you beyond compare. I'll see you later.” I walk away, back to my car and throw everything into the trunk. It had been a hard couple of months, but I’m starting to manage. It is something that should have never happened and it definitely happened too early in his time, but that’s life. There is nothing we can do to stop the circle. I drive away, looking in my rear-view mirror at the flowers. I love and miss you Grandpa, more than anything. 

Author’s note: This is all based on a dream that I recently had and my imagination. It’s one of my deepest fears and pains me any time I think about the possibility, but it has not happened. :)