A powerful force, a strong current, sweeping away anything in its path. Going against it
kills. Having to face the current although it might be hurtful, passing by stronger than anything ever known, because it is meant for you to shy away and become a coward. Continuing on, it all gets better. The current has passed and the main objective, the lake, is a peaceful realization that all those expectations, concerns, “crucial details” were all for what? Nothing. Nothing at all.
A summer evening with what I thought were the people I most cherished, mostly because seeing them was out of the question, most of the time. What I didn’t know, the hidden truth, was that many events had occurred before that day in time, years ago. The evident resilience my parents had in them to overlook everything for their children, to go with the current and not against it for fear of harming the family they were trying to create. As the day goes on, and we have an amazing time eating food and laughing about whatever topic was brought up, it seems as if nothing could go wrong, there would be no mess ups, and at the end of the day we would just leave with a smile on our face, no cares in the world, because everything was all right in the world again. What I didn’t know was that nothing is like it seems, and I shouldn’t get carried away in my thoughts, believing something that will never happen even though I want it to occur. As all of the kids are playing together in a big corn container, running around and jumping from
one side to the other, ear piercing screams are all we hear. It is evident that something isn’t right,
and we sit together in a circle, worried about what the future will bring. At that moment in time,
we made a pact, a pact to forgive and forget, a pact so that nothing comes between us although
our parents or whoever is fighting might think differently than we do. As we slowly crawl out
and walk, emotions pierce through my heart, because hearing a mother’s scream is never a good
sign. It is a sign of heartbreak, and a fear that eventually something bad will happen. I run, as fast
as my legs will take me, away from the current that tells me to follow what my parents say, to get
in the car because we are leaving. What I didn’t know was that as soon as I was pushed into the
car, eventually on a plane back home, my life would be changed drastically, where I wouldn’t
speak to certain people for two years, and for others even longer. I asked occasionally when we
would go back, why we weren’t going back, and what was wrong with those people that they
didn’t want to talk to me, and I couldn’t understand what I had done so wrong to make them
move away, what seemed like the farthest away they had been in a very long time.
Now, I am able to understand. Although it was tough to realize that my own grandparents had pushed my father under, treating him like he was nothing, while my uncle and aunt (his brother and sister) got everything they ever wished for. All the while, my dad was breaking his back with four hundred dollars in his pocket to somehow make a life in a whole new world. Over the years, his parents wouldn’t accept that he had made it on his own, got an apartment, an actual life he created for himself without relying on another person's money. The buildup of hatred people are able to obtain becomes unimaginable, mostly over the course of decades. It eats away at the person receiving left handed compliments, having to shy away from standing up for themselves for fear of hurting someone’s feelings. This is how my parents had to act. Just
Now, I am able to understand. Although it was tough to realize that my own grandparents had pushed my father under, treating him like he was nothing, while my uncle and aunt (his brother and sister) got everything they ever wished for. All the while, my dad was breaking his back with four hundred dollars in his pocket to somehow make a life in a whole new world. Over the years, his parents wouldn’t accept that he had made it on his own, got an apartment, an actual life he created for himself without relying on another person's money. The buildup of hatred people are able to obtain becomes unimaginable, mostly over the course of decades. It eats away at the person receiving left handed compliments, having to shy away from standing up for themselves for fear of hurting someone’s feelings. This is how my parents had to act. Just
swallowing their feelings and focusing on their end goal, which was to have a better life, in the
end finally succeeding and surpassing their own objectives.
Why do people try to change something that already has one course of action? More importantly, why do they try to close open wounds suddenly, when the problem is still there and nothing is resolved? These questions were important to me, since I have been asking myself what the answer to them are since that horrendous fight. Over the years, I have learned to accept the wrongdoings of my grandparents, and I still see traces of that hatred in the way they talk and act. Maybe the answers to all my questions are right in front of me, but at the same time so far away from being discovered. As that summer and winter went by, eventually my mom gave me a necklace that my grandma had sent over. It was a silver chain necklace with a dragonfly symbol on it. Of course, taking it felt wrong. Not only because I could almost feel the pity soaring through my veins as I held the chain, but because I felt that it was not a genuine gift, but rather one to make up for lost time. The time that has already passed will never return, but still today very few are able to recognize that. Although now, wearing the necklace, I don’t think of the story behind it. Rather, I concentrate on the meaning it specifically has for me, which is going against what everyone else tells you, to create what you believe is the best for yourself and the people you love and trust. Watching your success bloom leaves you amazed, never ceasing to let someone else tell you how to live your life, where society does not even hold a fraction of importance against your plans for the world and impacts whatever life you touch.
Why do people try to change something that already has one course of action? More importantly, why do they try to close open wounds suddenly, when the problem is still there and nothing is resolved? These questions were important to me, since I have been asking myself what the answer to them are since that horrendous fight. Over the years, I have learned to accept the wrongdoings of my grandparents, and I still see traces of that hatred in the way they talk and act. Maybe the answers to all my questions are right in front of me, but at the same time so far away from being discovered. As that summer and winter went by, eventually my mom gave me a necklace that my grandma had sent over. It was a silver chain necklace with a dragonfly symbol on it. Of course, taking it felt wrong. Not only because I could almost feel the pity soaring through my veins as I held the chain, but because I felt that it was not a genuine gift, but rather one to make up for lost time. The time that has already passed will never return, but still today very few are able to recognize that. Although now, wearing the necklace, I don’t think of the story behind it. Rather, I concentrate on the meaning it specifically has for me, which is going against what everyone else tells you, to create what you believe is the best for yourself and the people you love and trust. Watching your success bloom leaves you amazed, never ceasing to let someone else tell you how to live your life, where society does not even hold a fraction of importance against your plans for the world and impacts whatever life you touch.
I'm sorry that you have to experience such a prominent. familial divide. The emotions that you put in the story through your imagery and symbols are intense. I liked how you used lots of water imagery and motifs through out your story such as when you refer to the current that is flowing. Though it must be hard, thank you for sharing those intimate details with us. They show us their importance and impact in your life along with the person you are and are becoming. Great job all together! -kayla j
ReplyDeleteI loved your development of how you were speaking of your grandparents. Starting off by just calling them as those people and then shifting towards calling them grandparents again adds to the effect of the piece greatly. Beautiful writing!!
ReplyDeleteI loved your development of how you were speaking of your grandparents. Starting off by just calling them as those people and then shifting towards calling them grandparents again adds to the effect of the piece greatly. Beautiful writing!!
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your experience Sofia. It must have been hard for you to go through this sort of situation at such a young age. Though you had a rough time, it gives you more experience when you need to make your own decisions in the future. These experiences build our personalities and shape us into who we are meant to be. The imagery in the piece was strong and gave me the ability to picture the conflict and raw emotions your family was experiencing. Thank you for telling us your story and I am excited to see what kind of success the future brings for all of us!
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing. I'm sorry you had to go through such a thing. I really admired the growth that you went through during this time in your life because you persevered through all the hardship. The title also was really attention grabbing for me, it's unlike any title I've seen before.
ReplyDeleteThe reflection of traumatic past experiences are always hard to open up about but I can see that now you are finally comfortable with talking about what happened to your family. It probably took you years to finally even talk about it and now that you can I can tell you have probably learned a lot about your family and yourself and I'm proud of you for that.Thank you for sharing. - Zoe Corbett
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