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Friday, September 27, 2019

"The Root Of Fear " by Ariel G


     Saturday the 21st of July, 12:59 P.M. another member of the Higgins family dead, some say their cursed others think one is up to blame. It all started with Mona Higgins, she grew up witnessing her father domestically abusing her mother at the age of 7, two years later her mother died of suicide and her father was sent to prison for his reckless behavior and neglecting Mona along with her sibling. It wasn’t long before Mona was taken into Child and Family Services, hopping around foster homes being treated like an old toy, no one cared for her. As time went, on Mona became violent and uncontrollable, an incident broke out between her and a male worker, she planned to frame him for the death of her sibling. Instead, she was passed around to many social workers all who were preferably women. Mona soon became of age and ran away from her foster home with another kid in the agency because she was pregnant. The two began a new life together and it wasn’t long after   Mona gave birth to her daughter, Sofie that she got married. Sofie was a sweet but troubled little girl, growing up as an only child, Sofie was exposed to harmful situations. Her mother, Mona became divorced and her father never stayed in contact however it always occurred to Sofie why her father never reached out but she didn’t fully understand until she had kids of her own. Sofie gave birth to two boys, many referred to the
twins as the Higgins. The boys grew up having yet to met their grandma Mona, Sofie wouldn’t allow them to only because she didn’t know the truth about her parent's separation. Months and years passed before Sofie let the boys come in contact with their grandma. They scheduled to meet at grandma Mona’s house the following morning. When Sofie arrived with the twins she became cautious for only she had known the capabilities of her mother. At first, Sofie was hesitant to leave the boys alone with her mother but grandma Mona insisted Sofie take a tour of the house. So on Sofie went, while she was touring the house she stumbled upon an antique that she had recognized as a young girl. The antique was a square box that chimes when opened, but Sofie noticed it wasn’t chiming once she opened it, it was stuck as if it were tampered with. So she aggressively shook the box but it still didn’t work. On the floor, however, she noticed a wrinkled folded piece of paper that had fallen from the box. Once she opened the paper, Sofie realized it was half of a newspaper strip it read, “July 21st, 1973, Mona Higgens pleads guilty after being charged for poisoning her husband connecting back to the death of her brother Alex Higgins.” Footsteps began approaching towards Sofie, she quickly crumbles the strip into her pocket and locks eye contact with her mother, Mona. “The twins visiting hours are over, they need to make it home for their afternoon nap,” said Sofie. “Well then you better be on your way I guess,” replied her mother, Mona. Sofie scarcely rushed out the house with the twins and quickly placed them into their car seats, she soon realized one of the twins had gone pale in the face and the younger twin was beginning to gain a rash all over his body. They had been poisoned, while the twins were being hospitalized Sofie grabbed the newspaper strip out from her pocket to make sense of her father’s passing. There it read in BOLD print, “July 21st, 1983, 10 years later, the Higgins pronounced dead after being hospitalized from poison.”
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22 comments:

  1. This piece is very good that it seems like it could be an actual book.I love how the ending was sort of a cliffhanger because it leaves readers wanting more! I would definitely read something like this again. - Alison F

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  2. I love the mystery presented in the short story and the way the ending and beginning connected with the death of her husband and now her grandchildren. This story kept me engaged and yearning to know what happens next. It was also very helpful with the background information you gave because it sets the story up well. - Lauren W.

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  3. I love the suspense and mystery in this story because it kept me wanting to know what was going to happen next. It was also easy to follow along with the story line and connect the horrible moments in Mona's life to her children passing because of all of the background information and descriptive words. -Jadyn Y.

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  4. The use of description really brought this story to life. The mystery and suspense keep me wanting to read more. With the mothers suicide and the child feeling alone going from foster home to foster home it truly made it a great story. -Rebeca Sandes

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  5. This piece really pulled me in. It was written in a way where you feel the fear and the panic Sofie goes through when she realizes her children are in danger. I loved the dramatic irony of us knowing that Mona is dangerous, but her daughter not fully understanding. I also think that having Sofie finding the newspapers was an amazing idea as it escalated the situation and happened in perfect timing. Another thing I really enjoyed was how this piece developed the character of the villain to give background on how she ended up that way. Overall, this was a really captivating piece and I thoroughly enjoyed it. -Isabella Patterson

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  6. I really liked the anticipation you gave throughout the story leading up to the climax at the end. It was very mysterious and I liked how you added the backstory before to get a better understanding of how everything played out. If this was a book I would definitely read it it! 10/10

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  7. Wow! This story kept me on my toes and I never knew what was going to happen next. I could actually feel the emotions the characters have and the fear that Sofie experienced as she heard Mona's footsteps. Keep up the amazing writing! -Brianna Yang

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  8. You've created a really interesting universe here, and you have a great way of using suspense and story telling! good job!

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  9. I love how the suspense in this story builds up and we come to know why Sofie hasn't seen her father since her parents "divorced". Just the amount of suspense and mystery from the build-up is incredible.

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  10. This story was very engaging, I love how to described Mona and never really really revealed her true intentions up until the last couple of lines. I also loved how the story ends with a full circle, when you connected the dates.

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  11. I really enjoyed reading this piece, it gave a sort of a mysterious yet intriguing feel to it. The overall suspense and mood made me want to read into it more.

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  12. I love the sense of mystery throughout the piece. All of the pieces come together at the end beautifully like a puzzle and they were dispersed throughout the story. Well written and a true jawdropper! -Simerpreet Dhesi

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  13. You did a great of introducing the main character as a victim. Because of that, as the story progresses, we as readers expect to continue reading about all the terrible things that are going to happen to her, which is not the truth, magnifying the effect of the plot twist at the end.

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  14. The story kept me at the edge of my seat, I couldn't stop reading it! I loved the twist at the end, it all made sense on how Sofie's father actually died. - Breana P.

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  15. You character depth and strong soy line was bvery enjoyable. The switchin g of vicitms was also very creative and made for a very unpredicable and dark end.
    -Rebecca Clinton

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  16. Your work was amazing, I felt as if i was watching a movie. I love how you built up suspense and mystery it truly added to the piece, and drew me in. My eyes were glued to the screen, nervously wondering what would happen next. - Hannah Ekelem

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  17. I really loved your story it was super good and mysterious. I felt like the ending really tide the story together and brought a lot of suspense to me as a reader. I think you did a great job with your essay!-Ariana Hernandez

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  18. This story was so good! The background you created helped build the suspense the story making it more and more interesting. The more i read the more invested I got. Ending the story with a plot twist was an incredible idea. Great job! - Isabel Quintanilla

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  19. Wow I loved this story! The background you provide helped create suspense in the story that left me on the edge of my seat!The more i read, the more I wanted to find out what was happening. The idea of ending your story with a plot twist was amazing. Great job! - Isabel Quintanilla

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  20. I enjoyed reading this piece because it made me feel as if I was watching a TV show in my head and the mystery was really suspenseful,immersive, and intriguing. I felt like this could've been on The Twilight Zone or possibly even been a movie it was that good- Amari O

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  21. I'd like say I love how you used similes and metaphors comparing Mona to objects, such as an "old toy." It was also like a mystery from the beginning to end because it starts off with issues among the husband and wife to the death of Alex Higgins. But overall it seems like the story was played out very well for us readers to understand.
    -Nathan Guevarra

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  22. From the start I was intrigued from your hook, curious to know if it was a murder mystery. I was shocked as to what happened to Mona’s husband, for I had stereotyped him as the father who abandoned his family. Overall it was a pretty good fictional story and I liked how you made it a spooky story for October.
    -Stephanie Cabrera

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