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Friday, October 19, 2018

"Life is A Challenge" by Jean Andre M.



Life is a challenge for everyone and sometimes a struggle. Throughout my life, I encountered numerous challenges but managed to get through with it. However, there is one that I won’t forget. One day in August, I woke up and thinking it was just a regular day; I prepared my backpack and drove to school. Upon parking, I would walk to the J-building while listening to music.  When I came into the building and went upstairs something was different with my friends and I knew that it was not a regular day.  They were not happy but unusually sad. They told me “his gone” and instantly I said to myself “It can’t be true he won’t do that.”
Eventually, I finally knew the truth, when we were called up to the building at the end of the 1st-period calculus.  As I entered the administrative building, I heard an unexpected silence and the staff seems unusually down. As we went to one of the conference room, I saw my counsellor and a bunch of school staff.  I was thinking “why are they here and what’s happening.”  I became increasingly worried and my heart beat started to pound more and more. I then sat down at the second seat of the table closest to the window. Then I heard the detrimental news, “[he] took his life” I was shocked and could not believe and suddenly I felt like the whole world stopped. As I heard the news my sense of hearing was weakening and a sense of doubt was building. In my mind, I was I was having a sense of in denial and then suddenly a sense of anger started to building up and wanting it to release it. I kept thinking and wanting to scream “That’s not true your lying!”  However, I  did not do it because that was not me. For a moment I shut my self off from the world and I knew I need a time for myself to think. I had this time upon arriving home that day. As I went upstairs into my room all the emotions surged back. I kept saying to myself “I want him to be here and I do not want to let go.” All the memories of him helping me in making my speeches for MUN to the time we played video games came back and each one caused me more grief. I kept thinking “I don’t want to end.” The more I think the more I remember,  the more I regret. I regret not showing, the true side of me because I wear a mask. The mask was put on place to hide my true feelings and problems. I was hiding my true self and I’ve felt that my problems are insignificant compared to my friends and not be told. The mask was about to be taken off and ready to reveal, the true me. It is heartbreaking that my dear best friend did not see it.  In the subsequent days, I slowly took off the mask as I started telling my friends about my problems. My friends helped me realized that “people have different problems and no one is greater than the other.” This caused me to open more to my family and friends.
Eventually, I started to feel better with the help of the family, friends, school and faith. At some point in time, I got back in track and started to focus on academics, clubs, and college. However, I still received some moments that revives the emotions I felt that day, the sense of grief and regret, I knew I can’t move on from the pain but I know that my friends will help me. I am now more vulnerable, I tell people if I have problems and I let them help me. What happened that day caused me to finally take off my mask and be free. As I tell my narrative, I finally can slowly start the process of letting go and maybe move on. While as October is proceeding, the upcoming days I know would be a struggle but I have my friends to be there. I would never forget what my close friend said to me on the days of my grief “friends are there to help you bear your crosses and help you go through it.” I know that this struggle/challenge will always be there and it won’t go away, but I will still go through life to carry the dream of my fellow comrade.

20 comments:

  1. Jean, I admire you for telling this story. It truly is so inspiring to see how you got through this tragic event. I don't know what it is like to lose a close friend like you did. You really did a great job on this blog.

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  2. Writing this must have took a lot from you, I admire you for doing this and portraying emotions that many students probably have felt in the past two months. Your piece was raw, emotional, and very real. The depiction of your emotional state really makes this piece feel very real, the same with your thoughts. Your last sentence really hit hard, your piece is truly amazing. If you ever need a friend, you know I’m always here.

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  3. Jean, I'm sorry that you were affected so greatly by what happened in August. We're just teenagers, and it's almost unreasonable for anyone, especially people around our age, to recover fully from the loss of life. It is clear that although we lost him only two months ago, the aching pain that has been felt has not fully healed. Despite this, I'm glad that you are working through the pain and are trying to heal along with many others as time goes by. The grief and frustration that you experienced in August are almost tangible, through your use of diction that strongly conveys how you felt. The hope that you expressed in your final paragraph also gives hope to many other people at our school, who feel similarly and are trying to find peace in these trying times. Overall, I'm happy that you were able to find a way to put into words the pain, emotions, and hope you must still be feeling right now.

    -Lance Anthony Aquino (Period 1)

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  4. It is very heart touching and sad that you had a story based on a tragic event that had happened so close to us. It is important to have family and friends to talk to when one is felling down and depressed. Thank you for sharing your emotions.

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  5. Jean, this narrative was absolutely moving, not only do I can feel the emotions pouring onto this piece of work, but I can also feel the reconstruction and the development of the challenge you have faced. It was a devastating time for all of us, but the message you had laid onto the narrative had an such an impact, use of imagery really brought it to life.

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  6. It must have taken a lot of strength coming from you to share this certain perspective of yours; hence, I give you my gratitude. Thank you for reminding us that it is possible for us individuals to overcome the challenges and obstacles we would have to overcome throughout our lifetime. With detail, you successfully showed that it is still possible to let go even one of the most precious treasures that are obtained. The imagery and simile that you provided in the beginning portrayed your negative emotions as well. I also appreciate how you admitted the fact that you tend to hide your feelings behind your "mask". It provided the audience an opportunity to connect to the author, even in a different way. Overall, I appreciate the outcome of this essay resulting to be well-balanced as it emphasizes the imperfections of "Life". Well done Jean.

    - Charlene Sangalang

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  7. Reading this gave me goosebumps because all of the memories of that day suddenly rushed my mind. I totally undertsand the part of denial considering how most of us didn't register he was gone forever. The memories of him is the hardest to think about since there is a both a sense of joy since that was the energy he gave off howveer there is a sense of mourning because we will never be able to experiene his laugh or jokes first hand again. I really appreciated how you included your daily routine then a disruption since we can agree that is what most of his peers experienced as well. Thank you for sharing your grief and pain on that day. Rest easy comrade.

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  8. Remembering the day still makes my heart hurt. I can relate to your piece because I felt the same denial. The way you articulated your emotions from that day is extremely accurate. This was a well written piece that showcased the emotions that were going around that day.

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  9. Jean, I understand what you're going through. The passing of our friend was a hard one to get over. I think you're very inspiring for sharing your story. You have shined some light on what it's really like to lose a friend. Thank you for sharing this experience with us all. Well done!

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  10. Very well written narrative Jean! I am sorry about your loss and I'm sure we all are especially that day when we heard the news. The way you detailed fully wrote your story with imagery really sets the tone to not only the piece but also here in real life bringing back emotional memories to that certain time.

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  11. You are strong for putting your emotions and feelings into a piece like this. Your writing is inspiring and I truly admire it. This was beautiful, and I applaud you for being able to share this with others, it shows a lot about your good character and true heart. I know this was not easy for you, but you did exceedingly well in writing this piece. Your words are touching and heartfelt, and they express your growth as you dealt with such a sensitive situation.

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  12. Jean, thank you so much for telling your story about a loss that also greatly affected me as well. I really appreciate the vulnerability it took to share your experience and for also including how the event still affects you to this day. I also agree with how this great tragedy paved a path for talking about sensitive topics its just sad that it happened too late. thank you again for sharing. - Johnny De La Cruz

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  13. Jean, reading this felt so surreal because for some time, it was still hard to accept the fact that this actually happened. It was difficult to have to reminisce on such a heartbreaking time, but thank you so much for sharing this piece with us. You powerfully conveyed your emotions, and it truly felt like I was seeing everything in vivid detail from your point of view. Amazing work; stay strong, he will always be remembered. <3 - Sandra Mae Samin (per. 1)

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  14. This took a lot of strength to write. I understand completely what you are going through. Memories of him being brought up are tough to deal with but you are strong. you have reminded all of us to stay strong in these tough moments. You expressed very emotion in loosing a friend in this piece. Thank you for sharing as much as you did.

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  15. This was an incredibly emotional reflection and it was somewhat difficult for me to read, as I start to relive the memories of that day and how we all received the news. Thank you for opening up to us your personal experience, as well as your growth from that. It felt so empowering to read about you recognizing your emotions, as well as taking off your mask and progressing with life. An amazing tribute to our Fallen Comrade.

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  16. Jean, I'm truly sorry for what you and those close to you have been through. I appreciate the fact that you told your story about overcoming tragedy and how it gets better overtime. Through showing your emotions and mindset of that day, and the days since then, you give a beacon of hope in this time of hardship.I believe that your personal narrative truly does help others. Thank you for sharing your story!
    - Brooke Leslie

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  17. Jean, thank you so much for taking your mask off and sharing the impact this tragic event had on you. I relate very much to the feelings expressed in your story because they were ones I felt as well. Thank you again for sharing.

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  18. Jean, thank you so much for taking your mask off and sharing the impact this tragic event had on you. I relate very much to the feelings expressed in your story because they were ones I felt as well. Thank you again for sharing.

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  19. Jean, I really love the intense imagery that was being used to describe this horrific moment that impacted all of us as a school. I also like how moving your blog is- the way you pick yourself right back up focusing on your academics.
    - Mayur Chhitu

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