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Friday, October 19, 2018

"Moment in Passion" by Sharon Y



     “You wouldn’t understand how I feel!”, she sobbingly yelled as she drank the expensive grape wine.
...
     It all started in a train ride in the quiet countryside of Berlin, Germany of 1950. Two close friends, Keifer and Lorelei were walking to the nearest train tracks after school in the silent and peaceful hills of Berlin. They usually hitchhike the train just so they can relax and enjoy the beautiful countryside view slowly flinging past by them as time goes on. They would have everyday chit chat, play games and sometimes talk about the philosophy of life and what life means to them and how someday they’ll run away together following their dreams. Keifer wants to be an infamous artist while Lorelei wants to become a singer like Marilyn Monroe.
     Neither one of them knows their feelings towards each other, but kept the feelings mutual, believing they weren’t good enough for each other.
     Their first meeting with each other was very strange indeed. In just one moment can change a person’s life forever.
     It started in a gloomy colorless day in Berlin British School. Keifer just came out of the school feeling depressed. Before he met Lorelei, he was a sulking man who could only see the world in such a negative way that you would start to cry when you see through his perspective of life. He was never a happy, a tall awkward man with chestnut hair, he was always anxious about his future and how his parents discourage him in taking a career in arts. It doesn’t help the fact he was bullied in school for being a “changeling”.
     As he gloomily walked home to school he noticed a loud screaming of a woman. 
     “HELP! CAN SOMEBODY HELP PLEASE?!
      Keifer forgotten about being gloomy and ran towards the source of the sound. Behind the

tree he saw a girl with long blonde curls trying to shove a snarky tall man who seems to be pressuring her.
     “What’s the matter love? Am I being too hard on you?”
      “Just stay away from me you filthy perv!” as she struggles to get away from his grasp. Keifer immediately ran up to the snarky man, grab his collar and shove him, then kicked

him in his balls.
      “Hurry, follow me!”

     The girl didn’t hesitate to run and follow him.
     They ran and ran until they were far away from the school, running across the forest until they lost him.
     “Are you alright?” as he panted.
     “Yes, I’m alright” she pantingly responded.
      After they catch their breath Keifer decided to question her about what happened. “Did you know this man?”

     “Yes, he was my ex-boyfriend. My EX-boyfriend to be precise”
     “Oh, I can see why you would broke up with him. He’s not that pretty handsome himself and was being impolite towards you”
     She laughed
      “Ya, he was pretty ugly, inside and outside”
      She then looked at him with gratitude and said “By the way, I want to thank you for helping back then. It’s not everyday you find a
gentleman these days”
      He looked away and blushed. He never had anyone compliment him before, it wasn’t
everyday he gets to have a compliment with anyone, including his parents.
      “I just thought it was the right thing to do that’s all”
      “Well I hope I didn’t disrupt you with anything at least”
      “No no, I wasn’t doing anything important today so don’t worry about it” he laughs

sheepishly.
      “Will I be seeing you again?”

     “I don’t think why not?”
      They became close friends till this day, meeting with each other at the train tracks to aboard the train and happily talk to their heart’s desire, talking about their dreams and the future. Sometimes teasing each other for fun. To Keifer, it felt like a long peaceful dream, everyday he would walk to the train tracks with her and chatter with her about life. It was always peaceful... however.
      Lorelei continued to sob to her heart’s content, her loud uncontrolling and ugly sobs were audibly heard as if she woken up from a traumatic experience.
      Keifer’s heart melted as he saw her cry. He didn’t mean to hurt her feelings. He didn’t mean to take his anger out on her. He knew she was innocent but he was too angry to admit it.
     His heart soon melted out of regret and rub her back to comfort her.
     “Listen... I didn’t mean it what I said... I didn’t want to hurt you. I care about you and your feelings and it breaks my heart to see you sad... can you tell me what’s wrong?”      She sniffled and slowly stopped sobbing as Keifer continued to rub her back out of comfort. He then wiped her tears away as she slowly finds the courage to speak.
     “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to take my anger out of you... I... I...”
Keifer then encouraged her to continue speaking as he rubbed her in encouragement. “Go on”
      “I got a call from the police... they said my parents died in a car crash...”
      This made Keifer more guilty for yelling her. “I’m sorry... I didn’t know...”
      She sniffled.
      “It’s all right, you’re a good man. I know you didn’t mean it”
      Silence kicked in as no one says anything.

      Keifer then broke the silence and said “It’s going to be all right, no matter what happens I’ll always be there for you. Even till death do us apart”
     She slowly smiled
     “You were always a gentleman, that’s why I like you. I know the day you saved me that you were going to be the one for me”
     “I always knew that too. The time we spent together riding the train, watching the grass go by. I know deep in my heart, that your heart belongs to mine.
     He then swept her hair behind her ears, lifted her chin, meeting their lips together in a moment of passion. As the beautiful horizon watches over them in awe.

5 comments:

  1. Sharon, I interpreted your piece as a take on life in 1950s Berlin, in which many people in postwar Germany were amidst the ruins of their newly-divided country left in shambles after World War II, as well the brewing storm of the Cold War. Despite this somewhat gloomy backdrop, the two characters in your story, Keifer and Lorelei, were able to find love and hope in each other. I'm not sure if I'm right, but you must've lived in Germany at some point in your life, judging by your knowledge and use of imagery depicting the quiet Berlin countryside and the train tracks. Overall, this is a beautiful, passionate story that shows that people can still find the light in life even if it seems that the world around them is falling apart.

    ~Lance Anthony Aquino (Period 1)

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  2. Sharon, this was a well written blog! The dialogue quickly drew my attention in the beginning, and this interest was piqued with your flashback towards what happened. I also liked your style of providing a third person omniscient, as this really helped me, the reader, understand the complexities of both character’s self conflict and dilemmas, instead of just providing an account in first person of one character. Good job!

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  3. Sharon, great job with this piece! Your work had a timeless feel to it, but I do love how you based it on such an earlier time, along with the mention of Marilyn Monroe. Additionally, your use of dialogue is great; the spacing, appropriate marks-I felt like I was reading a published piece. Additionally, the small character development that could be seen of the two protagonists and the setting really advanced this piece-overall, great work!

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  4. This was a very good blog post sharon, you did amazing. The introduction was amazing and the end was satisfying because everyone loves a happy ending. I was drawn in my the two character learning the setting and their circumstances. I thought this was very well written and that you definitely have a gift. Great job! - Sofia Canseco

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  5. i really like all of the adjectives you use, very descriptive. Although im not one much for happy endings, i liked how it ended in this :D

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