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Wednesday, May 2, 2018

"Abnormally Normal" By Maybel O



“Why does your eye look like that? Are your glasses double-lensed? They're so weird.” she said.

The milky white galaxy on my deformed left pupil stared back at her through a concave lens a centimeter thick.

          Although they were nothing new, my classmate’s words took me by surprise. I felt my cheeks burn hot red. A lump in my throat formed as sweat began to bead on my forehead. I could only stammer, “Umm...it’s a long story...” as I frantically tried to think about an explanation that wasn’t too technical.

          “I’m completely blind in my left eye because I was born three months premature.” I finally answered. After being asked by countless peers about my appearance, that's the standard answer I have crafted. The shock on their faces that often follows is always interesting to watch.

          I walk into my first class of the morning and take my seat in the middle of the front row. Honors Physics. I bend down to concentrate on the current assignment.

“Maybel, did you not get enough sleep this morning? Sit up please.” my teacher notes.

          With my right eye’s 20/100 vision, my head sits less than an inch away from my desk, my nose barely brushing the surface of it. To others, I look half asleep. Quite amusing sometimes. “Sorry, I can't help it. I can't see otherwise.” I explain. It's an unavoidable obstacle for me. Squinting at small text, walking right up to the board, asking for enlarged papers, and being careful as I walk down stairs are a part my daily life.

          My physics teacher proceeds with the day's lesson. Projectile motion is the topic of interest today. He writes the necessary formulas on the board. Despite being seated in the front row, all I can see are microscopic lines of numbers and symbols. Not wanting to interrupt my teacher's lecture, I quietly ask the classmate seated next to me if I can see her notes for a moment.

          A few days later, we test on the concepts we learned. I'm handed my enlarged copy, a monstrosity on large 11x14 inch poster paper. Classmates stare. I've grown used to it over the years. Sometimes, I'm secretly relieved if a teacher forgets to enlarge a paper because I feel normal. Sometimes, I feel like an outsider.

But then again, there's no use in trying to be “normal.”

          People often ask me what it looks like to be able to only see through one eye. Likewise, I often wonder what it would be like to have sight in both eyes. I'll never know, and that's OK.

          For me, being cautious about my surroundings, extra meticulous in completing assignments, and asking for help when I can't see something became commonplace from a young age. Because I have no depth perception, going down stairs is a struggle. I have tripped over the edge countless curbs, both painted and unpainted ones. In elementary school, it was embarrassing to have to receive extra help. Although I was fortunate enough to never be bullied, I knew classmates viewed me differently. I remember people in elementary school would ask me questions about my appearance. I didn't really see it as an intrusive or annoying thing because I didn't know any perception of the world beyond my own at that age.

          However, my parents saw it as a bad thing so in middle school, they paid $1800 for an acrylic contact lens to be made for me, painted over to look like a normal eye. Oh, how the concept of saving face in Asian culture makes me want to bang my head against a wall. In middle school I wore the lens without protest because I felt self conscious, although I was never actually bullied or teased. As I grew older, I learned to accept and show compassion towards myself. In high school I refused to wear the lens anymore, much to the frustration of of my well meaning but overbearing parents. Many fights ensued between my parents and I over that tiny piece of acrylic, but eventually my parents let me have my way.

          In my world, nothing’s off limits. Rather, I simply have to take a different path to achieve the same goals as my classmates. Tasks often take me longer to complete and I have to be extra careful, but that doesn't limit me. I refuse to set lower expectations for myself because of my sight.

In that sense, I suppose one could say I'm resilient, driven by grit.

I'm also abnormally normal. And that's OK.


59 comments:

  1. This was not only an incredible story but a beautifully written one as well. You have such a positive view on your life through adversity and that's so inspiring. Reading about the struggles you go through humbles me because most of us go through the day without giving those things a second thought. I'm also inspired by your confidence even though it caused issues with your parents. It just shows what kind of person you are.

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  2. Maybel, I had you in one of my classes last year. Your piece is truly heart touching because I've personally seen you do your class work and I can see how it's different from the way everyone else does it. But to me, it doesn't make you abnormal at all. In my opinion it makes you admirable. You still try your best and give your all. You've accepted who you are and the qualities that make you who you are. Your life struggles have done nothing except give you character and a different perspective on life that most will never be blessed with. I loved this piece.

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  3. Maybel I really enjoyed reading your story. It felt as though I was standing right there next to you as you described your endeavor of isolation due to your situation. Your exquisite diction really pulled me into your world. Stay positive and hold onto your grit and you’ll do great things! Good luck to you!

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  4. this was so beautifully and i have so much respect for you Mabel, on a daily basis you do what we all do with a challenge none of us could imagine, you're beautiful in your appearance and in your soul and so admirable for sharing this with us. you are Amazing and have more courage than i ever will contain.

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  5. Wow Maybel you are honestly an amazing person. I love how you learned overtime as you grew older to ignore what people say to you, to appreciate the life you have regardless of your obstacle. You go girl!!!

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  6. This was beautiful. I'm glad you decided to write about this, because its like you said, others ask how you see and you ask how they see. Personally, I think it's important to be able to see things from others perspectives, no matter who they are, because some people don't understand that the simplest actions and inquiries can be perceived as rude or inappropriate. I truly respect how strong you are and you are such a sweet person that doesn't deserve to be treated any different. Thank you for sharing this with us!

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  7. Maybel, this blog was so insightful. In school, we never have the opportunity to really get to learn the struggles and the problems our fellow peers go through on a daily basis and you are truly an inspiration to others for being able to traverse through your condition with a positive attitude. Great work!

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  8. I am so happy to hear that you are not letting this set back define who you are. No matter what, you will do great things in life Maybel. You have accomplished way more than you will ever know. Good job! (:

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  9. Maybel, this was such a touching piece. The way you brought me, the reader, into your daily life and how you handle situations was truly interesting. I am glad you have learned to accept the way you are and not let people get to you. No one is normal, and although they try to claim they are, life just isn't that way. We all have unique aspects to us that make us different, and I want you to know that you are perfect the way you are. Your description was spectacular and I loved the narrative voice you had.

    - Jennifer Kirksey Period 5

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  10. Wow, I really respect you for sharing this personal story. I can't imagine what it must have been like for you to go through this from such a early age. It's truly inspiring to see how positive you've been able to remain and how you have overcome all the obstacles thrown your way.

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  11. Maybel, this is so courageous for you to write, I cannot even begin to put into words how brave you are. I know to put this up you may have felt so vulnerable, in which no one wants to feel like that, and you willingly put yourself in that position, and that truly shows how strong you character is. It's 2018, what even is 'normal'? Amazing job!!

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  12. Brittney BerglundMay 7, 2018 at 2:49 PM

    Wow maybel, as someone who has gone to school with you for 12 years I never quite understood how much you go through and Im shocked considering how smart and beautiful you are to see this different side of your hardships. You are incredible Maybel!

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  13. The second to last line was so powerful to me. For you to explain your thoughts and feelings about your vision, then conclude that it has caused you to be resilient and driven by grit gave me the chillies. You are sweet soul, and also very mature- to be able acknowledge and understand different points of views.

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  14. Raymond williamsMay 9, 2018 at 1:49 PM

    This was a great story. I have know you for two years but didnt understand thats why you wear those kinds of glasses. Do not let anyone judge you because you are different.

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  15. What an inspiring piece! It's amazing that you were able to break out of your comfort zone and learn to accept who you really are. I can only imagine how difficult it must have been at first, do deal with these obstacles you described, Great Piece!

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  16. Maybel, this is an extremely well-written piece and my only complaint is that it's too short. I love how with a few lines, you have already established intimacy with your reader by starting out with an event we can all relate to--- being put on the spot, intrusive questions, feeling different--- and use the common ground to tell us more about your own experiences. Certain things that you mentioned I could connect to, especially saving face. I was really, really excited to read this and my only regret is that I won't have any opportunity to read more of your writing.

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  17. What an amazing love for yourself you have developed despite your differences with others. This piece is well driven with the anecdotes you have chosen and described. Well done.

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  18. Maybel, this was a very inspiring piece and I am glad you chose to write your blog on this topic. I've known you since elementary school, and since then, I've never seen you let anything hold you back or drag you down. You are such a hard worker and so intelligent, I don't think there will ever be any struggle or obstacle that will get in your way of achieving any goals you have now or in the future. Great job!

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  19. Wow, this was very beautiful. The way you wrote this made me intrigued through the whole story. Thank you for sharing and great job writing!
    -Stephanie Valdovinos
    p.1

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  20. This is good that you shared this experience. I love how you share your struggle with this and how you continue to stay positive. This piece is beautiful.

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  21. I enjoyed reading your story so much. It was so beautifully written. I've known you for quite a while now, and I've always been curious about your vision. It was so interesting reading about your experience. I'm glad you have such a positive outlook on life. It's so inspring to see how hard you're willing to work to achieve your goals. This was overall such an amazing story. Thank you for sharing this!

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  22. I admire your confidence and love you have for yourself. It's really inspiring to see how much you've been through and how strong and such an amazing person you are. Thank you for sharing your story.

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  23. Nicely written piece. I could definitely feel your struggles, but it didn't feel like you were complaining or asking for sympathy. From the tone alone, I could definitely tell that this was just a part of your life that you've come to accept.

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  24. What an amazing narrative about how you deal with your everyday struggles. Well written and very descriptive with so many personal feelings. Its great to see how the struggles you've faced have turned you into the person you are today. Gavin Gnaster

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  25. this was a such a beautiful peace of work that is written , but not only that its personal. You are so brave to share this with us and despite what others say , the only opinion that really matters is yours. I love hoe you ended it with you loving yourself the way you are. hands down to you girl

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  26. This piece was amazing and it was brave of you to show your perspective of emotions through your situation.

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  27. This was a great piece! It takes quite a bit of gut to share these types of things and your feelings towards it. I admire your strength and determination, keep working hard and don't let other people's thoughts and opinions change who you are.

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  28. I love how you turn your struggles from a young age to normal life. You didn't give in and see it as a sin. Instead you faced it head on and embraced it, because it is a part of how you are. I wish i can only do the same, thank you for this beautiful piece.

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  29. Your blog was beautifully written Maybel. It really made me feel like I was walking in your shoes for the day. I'm so happy you shared with us your personal narrative. You are amazing and so kind, overall a beautiful person!
    Samantha Ehrlich Period 1

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  30. It's good to see that you don't let what others think about you get you down and that you love yourself despite it. It's not a bad thing to be you, faults and all, so long as you don't hurt anyone in my opinion. I've had to deal with others looking at me differently than others because of my appearance, but like you I eventually got used to it and stopped caring about what others think. It's fine to want to fit in with everybody else every once and awhile, but never stop loving yourself and all that makes you unique even if others see it as a negative thing. This was an amazingly written story that you shared with us and I thank you for doing so. Keep loving yourself, okay.

    - Justin Presto (Per.1)

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  31. I love your strength and your mindset of not letting any difficulties lower your standards. I know a lot of people, including myself, give up easily when there's a simple obstacle along the way. You're an inspiration to those who need the push to work through their daily struggles, and I'm very thankful there are strong-minded people like you to motivate others. I especially appreciate how you stick with your standards and choose to show compassion towards yourself despite your parent's opinion. Thanks for sharing your story!

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  32. I value your strength Maybel. Only now do I understand the struggle you must go through and how resilient you must be everyday. Great job illustrating your perspective. I could really feel your strength just through how you wrote about yourself.

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  33. Thank you for sharing this piece Maybel. You're so strong for putting up with the situation you were involuntarily placed in (well I guess you didn't really have a choice.) Your intertwining of example events and descriptions of yourself really had a heavy impact on the piece.

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  34. It takes courage to be open like this, especially with your peers at times. To be honest, your story hit me hard in the feels. I was reminded of the movie "Wonder". I now want to abnormally normal as well.

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  35. I have to really commend you on the way in which you handle people perceptions. You seem to handle these situations very well in a mature manner. Even though life has been hard for you I'm glad to see that you have persevered. Thank you for sharing!

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  36. I am so happy and proud that you don’t let your sight define you or hold you back. You are so hardworking, smart, and driven! I have never known that you have had to struggle like this. You are so strong and confident in your capabilities. Great job, your blog was excellent!
    Elizabeth Rivera
    P.4

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  37. Although you and I have shared many classes together over the years, I never thought about the way you have to learn from your perspective. Quite frankly, you are one of the smartest people I know, and I was always amazed at how you were able to catch on to things so quickly. Reading your experiences through your perspective, I now know how strong and determined of a person you are. Nobody is 'normal' and I am glad you are able to reject that social construct.

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  38. It makes my heart warm to read what you truly experience in a day through your eyes, literally. I'm glad to see that you've grown as a person and have accepted you for who you are; it's what everyone wants for others and themselves. This was beautiful to read, thank you.

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  39. Maybel, I am so proud of you for accepting who you are despite what others think or say. You are so strong for persisting in achieving your goals rather than giving up because of the difficult obstacles you have faced. I believe that you can accomplish so much in the future, and I hope that only good things come your way because you deserve it!

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  40. This is such an inspirational story, and a very well written one. I am personally happy to know that you have overcome the fact that you are who you are, some people including myself still have troubles accepting themselves.

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  41. I am very proud of you Maybel. Now i understand the struggles you have had to face throughout your life. Reading this showed me that you had more strength than i realized. Being able to visualize your journey was very inspiring. Great job! keep being you !!

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  42. Maybel your story is really inspiring to me because of how honest you are about your situation and even knowing the circumstances, you still don't let your eyes define who you are. Thank you for sharing and great job!

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  43. It is truly inspiring to know your story, thank you for letting us walk in your shoes. To be able to reject the acrylic eye and accept yourself proves how beautiful and confident you are. I never knew the struggles you face day to day and it warms my heart to know how determined you are to make the most of it. I've always admired you for your intelligence and now I admire you for so much more than that.

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  44. Wow Maybel this was so beautiful, I began to tear up. It is so amazing that you learned to accept who you are. I am so glad that you overcame personal ordeals instead of giving up. With this mindset, you can accomplish anything in life and face any obstacles. I know with your mindset you have an abundance of good things coming your way. I feel your motivation and strength through this piece. Beautiful work Maybel!

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  45. Maybel, your journey of self discovery and self acceptance is truly beautiful. You experienced a lot of challenges and were able to overcome them as if they were trivial. I admire your strength as well as the courage you have, to be able to write such a personal story about your struggles is very admirable. I know with your positive attitude and resilience you'll be ale to go far in life and achieve all your goals.

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  46. Sometimes to most of the time, I hate that people are made to see others differently or perceive someone else a certain way. It's a human flaw in society and as humans especially. Maybel thank you for sharing your personal reflection, it gave me a whole new perspective and you do have grit; it's shown through your personality and most importantly in your reflection. I love that you fought for what's comfortable for you and not for others. Also I got a sense from the writing, that you are a great storyteller and writer. An amazing job and thank you again for sharing!

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  47. Maybel, having known you for awhile now, I admire your strength to keep going despite the various challenges you face. I'm so proud of you because you decided to embrace this obstacle and accept it as part of you. Continue to do these things and you will always be successful in life. Thank you for sharing.

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  48. Your piece was BEAUTIFULLY written and I understand the struggle of being different. However, you own that title that's often given a negative connotation and for that I commend you. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on the matter, because without it, many of us would still be viewing you the same way you described in your piece.

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  49. Not gonna lie, crying a little bit right now. I think I met you in... must've been Forsyth's 6th period chem class sophomore year. I can't lie, even if I didn't consciously conduct myself in this manner, I admit to seeing you differently. I admit to quietly pondering. But reading your testimony is a big eye opener (no pun intended). You've always been one of the sweetest people I've ever met, and I'm sure one of the smartest too. But I was born 2 months premature, and have dealt with my own medical handicaps. None to the degree that you face, but I suppose to some extent I can relate with you there. I guess, I just never realized how incredible a person behind those glasses of yours. What incredible tenacity and enduring spirit. It's admirable, more than admirable really. You should be proud Maybel, and I can only dream of what incredible heights you will reach in the coming years. Good luck in college, and I hope you know is was a pleasure, honor, and privilege to have been able to meet you and read your story. Thank you. HAGS Maybel!

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  50. Thank you for writing this. We've only talked about once or twice, but you've always been so bright and kind. You're a great person and I'm glad that you're such a strong person that you don't let others bring you down!

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  51. Everyone faces different struggles and for you to open up about yours was beautiful. Your articulation on the way you genuinely feel was so stunning and inspiring. I don't know if you remember but we had Roozeboom together, I was always curious about your story but I knew it wasn't that important since I got to see the different ways you contributed in class. Now being able to read your background and basically your soul put on display, I realize something. You said in your work that you are on a different path for the same goal... I think you are on a different path but for a totally different goal, and thats why your path is so different. You are going to do something great, I feel it.

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  52. Maybel, this story really touches the heart, not only is it a great piece but it’s coming from a great person. You been the realest since elementary school and I hope nothing but success for you!

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  53. Wow, Maybel, your story is so inspiring. Thank you for sharing this with us. I know that your journey must have been incredibly hard, but you’re pulling through, and that’s what matters most. Keep on pushing, girl ;)
    -Carianne Lefebvre P.1

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  54. I loved reading this. It's interesting to see your thoughts and experiences throughout your life and I'm happy you've accepted this aspect about you. You have endured situations many of us haven't experienced and I know you'll accomplish so much in your life.

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  55. This story of your life was honestly amazing and inspiring. I don't know you, but I'm very happy that you were able to overcome all of this

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  56. Maybel, I admire you for not letting your sight hold you back. You are one of the smartest people I know, I am sure you will accomplish many thing in the future. Thank you for sharing this beautiful piece with us.

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  57. Wow. Gosh, I never even considered the kind of hardships you faced because of this. You carry yourself so confidently and it shows through your writing as well. I especially love the line, "The milky white galaxy on my deformed left pupil " Its very beautiful imagery. Reading this lightened my mood and made me smile. Its amazing knowing you're comfortable in your own skin.

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  58. You have always been so nice Maybel even when people may not be the nicest. You are so stron and reading your story makes me want to be as strong as you are. You are going to do great things with this kind of determination. You are awesome!!

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  59. Wow Maybel this is beautiful. You are beautiful. The title itself intrigued me from the start which caused excitement to flourish before even reading your story. And I'm happy I did.

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