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Wednesday, February 21, 2018

"The Horrid Unknowns" by Melissa C



Heading down the stairs as he typically did every weekday night around 8:30. He walks to the kitchen where his sister was sitting at the dining table eating cereal. Finding himself appetized by the cinnamon toast crunch he decides to join in and accompany her. They had a little conversation as usual, talking about how their school days went. However after some time in that fashion his sister decided to head to her room for the night, as she was very tired. Now alone downstairs, he plugged his ear buds in and watched a few videos on his phone before heading up stairs, whilst he knew the friendly voices of his favorite Youtubers would keep him company. Meanwhile he finished his cereal, washed the dishes and curled up on the sofa for a few.

His phone shut off. It was dead; he had drained the battery watching his videos. Looking up, until them did he realize it was already quite late and 2 hours had past. Thus he figured he might as well head up to his room and plug in his phone and go to sleep this dark cold Monday night.  

Before heading up the stairs, he turned off the lights of the house one by one , first the kitchen light then the family room the living room the porch light and the light to the stairwell. The only light that illuminated was the one at the top of the stairs, from the hallway, that lead from the end of the stairs to his room. Having lived in this house since birth he was quite accustomed to walking up these dimly lit stairs. At the top of the stairs now he knew what time it was. The child in him told him to run and stray from the darkness of the hallway to the comfort of his room. He turned the switch off. However now, this 17 years of age young man kept his calm, figuring that the child within him wouldn’t win this time. After all he was only a year from being a legalized adult and well adults weren’t afraid of dark hallways, he assumed.

Now half way down the hallway,
“Turn around!” said Timen’s inner conscious.
In relief there was absolutely nothing their. However still he scurried along to his room at a faster pace. Not even turning around as he closed the door to his room. He is now safe from the hallways horrid unknowns.


Being as sleepy as he felt, he gets ready for bed. No more than 10 minutes later he is ready to crash for the night. He hits the light switch and bolts to his bed, not being able to see anything he stumps his toes on the corner of the bed dropping his phone from his hand to the floor that he was going to plug in next to his bed as he habitually did every night.

His body is a hot sensation he wanted to scream but he couldn’t knowing he would have awaken the others in his house. It continuous throbbing for a minute or two longer then he scurries to turn the light on and check if had hurt his toe. Luckily everything was just fine. Now remembering, he picked up his phone, plugged it in and turned the lights off once more. This time making his way to his bed in a more cautious manner. He gets under the sheets, cuddles up, and closes his eyes. However with so much on his mind; it wanders to all the empty shadowed spaces that surrounded him. How much can be kept their and how little he knew of what ghosts and spirits he always felt around him, always feeling as if someone was following him or watching him . He felt as if this was it, the world’s weight fell upon him, he was now sweating , shortened of breath, and the world although he couldn’t see anything in the darkness he laid in, was darkening more and more second by second.
In a quick jump he jumps up and turns the light on. Paranoid of so much more than even he himself could express. Afraid of the nightmares he had with quite some frequency, he decided it was best for his sake to stay up.

Timen is writing this, Timen doesn’t know why, but Timen is tired of this darkness.

18 comments:

  1. Lauren Elizabeth WrightFebruary 23, 2018 at 10:34 AM

    This was very interesting to read because I totally relate to the impulse of being afraid at night or in the dark as if I were a small child. It was written very well and definitely kept me hooked the whole time. Great job!

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  2. I was drawn in to your post the entire time, as I can completely relate to being afraid of the dark. Your imagery perfectly describes the nervousness that darkness creates as well as the comfort your room makes when you run in and throw yourself under the covers. I also loved how you brought up the child in you that comes out during the night when getting ready for bed. Great job!

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  3. the title of your article attracted me instantly. I think most people can relate in this situation of being afraid of the dark. Every sentence had me interested , love this piece.

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  4. This story was very interesting and relatable as I feel like I'm hearing things in the dark when I'm home alone. I loved that you made fear become someone that Timen was really afraid of. I also liked how you guided the reader through the use of imagery.Great Job!

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  5. I was very interested the entire time while reading your piece. I was excited to see what was gonna happen next. Great job with all of the imagery you provided.

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  6. First of all, I love how you carried the theme of darkness throughout your writing. From describing the night and his bedroom, you prepared the setting very well. Your use of imagery enabled the audience to be a part of it and go through it with Timen. I also love how you brought up ghosts and spirits when talking about the dark because sometimes it's how we perceive darkness. We see the dark as a cover to hide something. When you brought it up, it makes this story the more tense, yet interesting.

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  7. Honestly, I was waiting for the jump scare. You had me fooled friend. Other than that I enjoyed the story a lot. Keep it up, bring more to the table some day.

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  8. I think everyone can relate to their childhood through this story, if not just their life currently. There is always a fear in the back of my head of the dark and what lurks in it. You did a wonderful job of keeping suspense without giving anything away or making it too intense. I was invested through and through, great job.

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  9. A fear of the darkness coupled with an intense imagination is always a formula for a bad night. I understand children having this fear, I had it myself when I was younger, but the feeling lessens as time goes on. Although, it never completely goes away and it is fine for a young adult to still have this fear. I always assumed monsters lurked at night and in the cover of darkness, and as I grew up those monsters turned to real life people that I look out for sometimes. You did a great job at expressing this fear of the darkness and the paranoia that comes with it. Intense at times and completely justified in the context of the story.

    - Justin Presto (Per.1)

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  10. Great Piece! I love the last line as it certainly summed up the story and added a mysterious element. I can relate to the fear of the dark and thinking it is a child's fear. Great job portraying Timen's thought process.

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  11. The idea of fear is one that is present in everyone's life and your story was a great narrative of it. The story was very interesting and fun to read. Your descriptive phrases and use of diction to create a suspenseful tone helped keep the story moving. Great job.

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  12. I really enjoyed reading this. Although I am not afraid of the dark, I can completely relate to Timen's thoughts, especially hurrying into my bed after I turn all the lights off. What I really like was the last sentence, "Timen is writing this, Timen doesn’t know why, but Timen is tired of this darkness." It creates an ominous feeling that I felt inside of me. As if the whole time it's in third person, there is someone there haunting him or creeping near him. Definitely gave me the heebie-jeebies.

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  13. I really liked your piece I love reading about these kinds of stories. But it’s also crazy it’s like him and I have the same life because I too get paranoid as he does over the dark. I loved the piece! Great job!

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  14. I think all of us can relate to that common fear of the darkness, the fear that something is lurking right behind you. We all feel so immature for feeling in, because we know nothing is there, but we second guess ourselves anyways. I liked how you drew the scene out, with that one light on at the top of the dim staircase, I could really see it and felt like I was the one braving the dark. I really liked how you described his everyday actions and then went into the fear on the way to bed.

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  15. I really enjoyed this piece of writing! I can totally relate to the feeling of fear as you turn off a light switch and have to run to your room. I liked how you kept your story suspenseful because it created a ominous feeling as if something was actually there the entire time, I especially see this in the phrase "Timen is writing this, Timen doesn't know why, but Timen is tired of the darkness." Overall, i enjoyed this piece a lot because as young adults, we shouldn't be scared of something so silly as the dark, but like you said, the inner child takes over sometimes. (Jalynne Reyerse Period 2)

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  16. I think in a way every one is afraid of the dark. We tell ourselves that were too old to be scared of these so called monsters so we force ourselves to sleep. But deep down we know that its not exactly the dark were scared of, but being alone.

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  17. This was a great piece that I really enjoyed reading. I like the mysterious and spooky tone that you set that gave a feeling of suspense. I too can relate to Timen in the sense that I occasionally do feel scared or even watched when turning off the downstairs lights. Overall a nicely written piece!

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  18. I really enjoyed this piece of writing! I can totally relate to the feeling of fear as you turn off a light switch and have to run to your room. I liked how you kept your story suspenseful because it created a ominous feeling as if something was actually there the entire time, I especially see this in the phrase "Timen is writing this, Timen doesn't know why, but Timen is tired of the darkness." Overall, i enjoyed this piece a lot because as young adults, we shouldn't be scared of something so silly as the dark, but like you said, the inner child takes over sometimes.

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