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Wednesday, February 21, 2018

"Ortnitefay " by Jason N



Silence devours the atmosphere as I stay hidden behind a tree near what used to be a building. It has been five days since I’ve been on this damned Island and who knows what could happen next. For the sake of security I recall my name many times in my head “Paxton, Paxton, Paxton...” It’s odd but, my name is about all I can remember as well as parts of what happened before I’ve awakened here. It was pouring outside that day, dark and gloomy, though I started to believe the outside looked a lot more lively compared to my house. My parents often had “friendly conversations” that led to extreme showcases of “physical affection”. Those dreadful times are now memories in which I cherish in my lonely hours here. Anywho, I was laying in bed that day, sleeping, when suddenly an immense amount of pain hit my leg. I woke up and found myself on this island with a backpack beside me containing only a gun and a knife. For the time I’ve been here fruits and dirty water was about all I’ve been able to obtain but, about three days ago I found a boar roaming around the bushes. Without hesitation I aimed at it and oddly it was already on the floor bleeding, out from the bushes appeared... BANG! Loud bursts from nearby echoes throughout the entire island. My heart started beating faster than Chopin’s - Minute Waltz on top of a roadrunner. I’ve forgotten that I was not the only one who was stranded on the island. Reminded of my situation I check for what I have on hand. I began to get teary eyed as I saw that I have made no progress in scavenging whatsoever. Wiping my eyes I muster whatever courage I could possibly have left and began scouting. I climbed to the top of the tree making sure the leaves were covering me and looked in the direction of where the shot came from. I let out a chuckle to make myself appear cool.
“There he is.” I whispered
As I looked at him a little longer I began to feel discouraged. He had a strong physique, casual clothes on, and had a mask that gave me no-no vibes. As though victorious and arrogant he sat on the man he had just killed looking through his backpack. Fear then washed over me as he stood up and turned over to my direction.
“He’s the one that did it. He’s the one that killed that boar!” I shouted in my head.
Getting ready I cocked my gun and waited. Suddenly the man started rushing towards me and oh lord, I just peed in my pants. I facepalmed myself with the fact that I, a grown man just wet himself. Completely thrown off, I started scouting again. I could no longer see him or find him, so I climbed down the tree and went towards the destroyed building. Rushing, I opened the door quietly and crept in. The musty smell made me gag and the corridor of the building was just another horror story cliche. Sitting in the corner I cried to myself waiting for the angels to pick me up oh so gracefully, I began to delude myself. Seraphim came to me in open
Jason Nguyen 2/15/18 P.2
arms and I happily opened mine as well. Approaching Seraphin the masked man somehow made his debut appearance and out of fear, I closed my eyes started shooting. BANG, BANG, BANG! I rapidly pull the trigger swinging my index finger pointed back and forth in the trigger guard. Thinking that I had just killed someone I opened my eyes. Shocked, I stood there feeling the exit of the corridor had just stretched further away from me. He was still alive, the only thing dead was Seraphim who had opened up to me. I started to recall Bishop Bullwinkle’s - Hell Naw meme and ran, but I was far too late. The masked man had already grabbed on to my shoulders with his gun on hand. Desperately, I reached behind my back for my knife. He realized immediately what I was reaching for and shot me on the spot. Staring blankly at the wall, I had just noticed I lost a match in Fortnite.

12 comments:

  1. Very interesting plot. The mystery behind what was going on was making me curious of what kind of situation the speaker of the story was in. The plot twist in the end provided some relief to help the audience know that it wasn't an "actual" real life experience. Nicely written!

    Jeremiah Credo Period 1

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  2. Great job Jason! I like the suspense that you built up throughout the story and the reference made in the title to Fortnite. I also liked the meme references made in your blog post.

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  3. Great job on the story! I was so entrenched in your story. The imagery you provided was amazing and I actually felt like I was there. I’m especially liked your description of your heart beat as “faster than Chopin’s Minute Waltz on a roadrunner.” That ending kind of got me. I was left sort of in a state of confusion. There were some grammatical errors, but it didn’t take away from your amazing story! Thank you for sharing!

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  4. Interesting story. Loved that you built all this suspense and I was laughing so hard when I realized that it was a reference to Fortnite. Great job Jason!

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  5. What seemed to be a serious story ended up being an homage to fortnite. Great story to laugh about after i was done reading it. great job!

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  6. The title of this piece gave me a feeling that your story was going to be about Fortnite, but as soon as I started reading it, that feeling disappeared. So great job man! Throughout the entire reading, I was at the edge of my seat! Although I did have an occasional laughter here and there. This shows so much about the character you created because he would make jokes to himself even though he was in a crucial situation and it also shows how magnificent your writing skills are. Great job Jason!

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  7. I really liked how you used imagery to build up your suspense in this piece. Also, I did not see it coming that you were talking about the game, "Fortnite" all along as the ending was like one big comedically written satire in a sense. Great job, Jason.

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  8. Your use of imagery helps to make the story much more enjoyable to read. The descriptions and overall flow of the story is one that adds to the suspenseful tone of the story. Great job.

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  9. This was a really cool story. I really didn’t see it comoing that it was just a game of fortnight. I recently just learned how to play and it was cool to see it told as if you were your character. Great piece!

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  10. Very funny story, I like how you build up suspense to make it seem that it was going to be some crazy war story but turns out it was just about fortnite. I should have known from reading the title indicating a close resemblance to the actual name "fortnite". But overall great story!

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  11. I really enjoy the concept that each match is like living a new life without memories of the past. Overall, this piece was very well paced and feels much longer than it appears, as there is so much detail and action packed into each paragraph. I also found it incredibly funny with very relevant humor. Great job, I loved this! I haven't played fortnight yet, but this makes me want to go download it.

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  12. I knew it! I knew this was going to be about Fortnite. I could sense it in the setting of the story, as well as the casual touches of comedy throughout the piece. Funny story, great twist! Good luck with your next match.

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