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Monday, December 18, 2017

"Can I Be the One For You?" by Eric D


Dear Journal,
Well damn, my first day of High School was something. I was watching the whole series

of Honeywork’s High School Love Committee in one sitting and I made it to school late! I can’t believe it! What an embarrassment! I’m so damn pathetic. But something... strange happened. While my annoying friends were teasing me, I caught sight of a girl and then I felt like my heart pounding quickly, and my face burning with heat. I can’t be... falling in love with her...? 

Dear Journal,
It’s been two whole years since I fell in love with Hikari. Oh yeah, her name is Hikari.

She’s the girl I fell in love with since freshman year. I haven’t even talk to her yet. Can’t you believe it?! I’m so pathetic! I don’t have the courage to talk to her. Anyways, her friends asked her if she ever liked someone. I felt really upset about that. I hope that if she does, whoever she likes rejects her. Wait, what am I talking about? Am I getting jealous? I’m not even dating her and I feel that way? How pathetic am I! 

Dear Journal,
I MADE A TOTAL EMBARRASSMENT OF MYSELF! Let me tell you : It was during

P.E. The girls played tennis while the guys played soccer. Luckily, I was at the scoreboard. I’m not really an athletic kid. What caught my sight was her.. Hikari. Did I tell you that she was terrible at sports? But she always shrugs it off and smiles like nothing happens. Her smile is that of an angel. She’s so cute! I heard her and her friend talking about what type of guy she likes and she said : “ Someone who I like is my type”. WHAT?! So you’re telling me the person she likes is her type? I hope she doesn’t like someone right now... . While I was talking to myself, a ball flew towards me and hit me across the face. I had to go to the infirmary because of it. I still remember crying, not because of the pain, but because if someone she likes loves her, I won’t be able to be confess to her. Haha! Not like I’m going to ever confess to her. 

Dear Journal,
I almost made to school late ... again! Last night, I was thinking about her and I just

couldn’t sleep. Right when I was going through the classroom door, out of all people, SHE had to be standing on the other side! I found it cute that she had a little bed head. Probably because she forgot to do her hair. I said “ Good morning! You have a little bed head”. Are you kidding me?! Was that really the first thing I say to her? Wait... First. Thing. I. Say. To. Her... Today was the very first time I talked to her... To Hikari. 

Dear Journal,
Ren wanted to talk to me about something. If you don’t know who Ren is, he’s one of

my classmates. He changed a lot since the last time I saw him. In Junior High, he had long white hair, below average build and nerdy looking glasses. He was extremely shy and was always an
awkward kid. This year, he changed for some reason. He cut his hair, looked more bulky and his personality changed a lot. He’s a lot more confident and courageous. I wonder why. Why did he changed himself? In all honesty, I wish I can change myself like that too. I want to be confident. I want to be courageous. I don’t want my jealousy getting the best of me. I went with him and we sat at a bench. He immediately asked me if I liked Hikari. I said ‘yeah’ and I was wondering why he was asking me about Hikari. He then told me something that I don’t think I’ll ever forget : “ I changed myself because I wanted to impress my crush. Even when I did that, she still consider me as a good friend because she already has someone she likes . In all honesty, I didn’t care. I know I had a 0% chance but I did it anyways because of her. She’s the one that gave me courage. You don’t have a 0% chance. You still have a chance. Confess to her now before it's too late. You still have time to change yourself.”. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I closed my journal. Today’s the day. Today’s the day that I confess to Hikari. What Ren told me yesterday gave me hope. If he can change himself, then I can too. I walk around, looking for her. My mind continuing to say “ You’re not at 0%, you can do this !“ . I find her standing next to her locker. I immediately call her. She turns, looking confused. “Blake? Is something wrong?”, she said. I took a deep breath and said , “ I have something to tell you later, so can you please meet me in the art room at 4:10?”. She looks at me with confusion and immediately blushes. She slowly nods. “Well uh.. I’ll see you later then”, I said, walking away. I can feel my face heating up. I finally did it. Now we wait. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 4:05
H-104, the Art Room.
I stare, looking at it. I grasp my heart, hearing it thump loudly and rapidly. It’s as if my heart’s about to explode. Hikari is definitely inside right now. She’s always the type to arrive early. I close my eyes. You’re not at 0%. You’re not at 0% . I open my eyes. It’s 4:10 . It’s time. Let’s go. I open the door and walk into the classroom. I see her standing at the corner, still looking confused. I walk up to her, feeling my face heat up. Next thing I know, I’m standing right in front of her. It’s now or never . I took a deep breath and said, “Can I be The One for You?”.
END

25 comments:

  1. wow!!! this is so cute! I especially love how you broke up the journal entries into days. I also admire how personal the speaker is and how you've included the conversations you had and your thoughts. The context and diction of this piece makes it so personal that I want to keep reading! I want to know what happens after the question!

    Eddie Avila
    Period 1

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  2. Eric, I really liked the choice of using a series of journals in order to convey the narrator's love story. It enables the reader to be well acquainted with the main character through his hilarious interactions with his crush and his internal struggles of conveying his true feelings for her. Great work!

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  3. This was so good! I thought it was really adorable that this boy was in love and so shy about a girl. I found it really interesting to see a boys perspective on having a crush! I really enjoyed how you used the journals and I think it was really creative! I think many girls can relate to this story because I think we all secretly wonder about guys thoughts so I think this was really good! Great job!!

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  4. I was smiling the entire time as I read this! I could feel Blake's whole attitude and feelings change about how he viewed high school and himself just by this one crush. I find it so cute that he consistently wrote in a journal about his feelings and what he was going to do about them because you can see his confidence grow. I would LOVE to see what Hikari's answer is, and how reacts! Especially in his next journal entry! Great job Eric!

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  5. Good job Eric! I really liked how it was built on a one on one with the narrator and the journal. Along with how well the emotions were conveyed. In addition I also liked how you included how the narrator's school life was effected when she would be involved.

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  6. Eric, this post was so cute! I loved how you broke it up in journals, it really made me feel like I was Blake myself! This post isn't like anything I've read before on this blog so I highly admire your creativity and the way your writing allowed readers to empathize with Blake.
    Kayla Rangel
    P.6

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  7. Great job Eric! I was really impressed when using a first person point of view and expressing his feelings for a girl he liked. I also liked how this affected his daily life and used a motto to raise his confidence at the end. Erick Gutierrez per.4

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  8. I liked that your post is unique by sharing in a journal form. The story is so relatable to the thinking we all go through when we have crushes. I enjoyed how you incorporated the theme of image and identity. That your real self will, with confidence, will attract real people to you who will give you a chance. It was a pleasure to read your piece!

    -Joseph Madere Period 1

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  9. How adorable! This story being in first person point of view and having a journal-like form makes it stand out. You wrote such a relatable story but you left out all the cliches. I love how I was able to see the character develop and see how his thoughts influence his actions. It's a shame that the story is left on a cliffhanger, though.
    Chiquitita Annisa P.2

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  10. This was amazing. I loved how it was broken into days for the journal's so we could see how he progressed with his mission to be with his crush. I feel like this is a real problem with some high schoolers and I'm glad you shed light to this subject and you might have given someone the courage to ask their crush out. Keep up the good work.

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  11. Great blog Eric! This was very uniquely done as you utilized journal entries, which I had not seen done until now. In addition, I was very entertained to see Blake’s development throughout the entire piece and the cliff hanger left me wanting to read more, nicely done.

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  12. Mekka Johnson January 16 at 9:58
    When I began reading this it reminded me of something out of Diary of a Wimpy Kid. I liked how the story was much like a flash back into reality like I can feel the intensity through every word. What really stood out to me was your use of kinetic energy to grab my attention. It was overall a really good blog. You literally had me at the edge of my seat wondering if he would ever gain the courage to go up to Hikari and express your feelings.

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  13. I like the whole journal entry thing you have going on. It's refreshing to see how the narrator reacts to events in a batched "rIC"-style instead of as the events occur. It really depicts the feelings of anxiety you get when you reflect on all of the ways you've screwed up that day.

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  14. I really like how you wrote your piece in a series of journal entries. You did a great job with developing the character through the entries.

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  15. Really love that ending (just wanted to get this out there). Any who, I enjoyed the whole format; made me feel like I was there watching you progress throughout the years. Also, this was absolutely ADORABLE! I cheered you on the whole way reading this. Keep it up.

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  16. Oh my goodness this was so cute! I really loved how you wrote it like Blake was writing in his journal and giving his insights and how he feels about the situation. This was really good

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  17. Ughhhhhhhh!!!! What happens next????? I loved this. I love how you decided to write in journal entries and how relatable you made Blake. This was such a cute story. I had a smile on my face the entire time while reading hoping that Blake and Hikari would end up together. Great Job!

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  18. Your story was the cutest thing I have ever read! I was smiling ear to ear the entire time I was reading it. I found it really nice to finally see a story about a guys perspective when he has a crush. Since the story is told in a journal format, it made the entire scenario of having a crush much more realistic because we know and can relate to Blake and his feelings.

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  19. Your journal entries made for a very interactive and insightful piece into the story. Your diction and use of capitalized words helped to add character and make the story that much more interesting. Great job.

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  20. This was a cute little story. The separation of the journal entries helps portray the breaks in time and emotions which made it really easy to follow along.

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  21. I'm always a sucker for romantic type stories! The way you structured it into a daily journal type format really brought me in as a reader. I felt as if I was being let in to know the main character's personal thoughts and feelings. It almost felt like I was intruding, since journals/diaries tend to be for no one but the author to read. Yet, knowing how he feels and the little things that happen in his day to day life was really refreshing. It reminds me that the main character could very well represent anyone in real life, and for that it was truly pleasant. Excellent Job!

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  22. I loved it! I loved it! I LOVED IT!!! Eric it was so cute and had my heart fluttering and fangirling the whole time, especially when he said, "Can I be the one for you?". I nearly died. I really love how it's like journal entries and I really felt like I was basically reading a manga without the illustrations. I also found it practically entertaining that the other characters had Japanese names, but the main character's name was Blake. Great job Eric this is my favorite story I've seen on the blog and I demanded a sequel!
    Nysiah LeGardye
    Period 6

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  23. This peice was really good I appreciate how well written it was and all the intricate details of the story also the cliff hanger in the end was well oriented all in all great job David Ekelem Per 6

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  24. Goodness, my friend... you're killing me here hahaha. Jeez, I tell yah, I was struggling to get through the latter half of this story just because it was making me smile so much. I love, I mean it is your typical love story and there isn't much that made it unique. But I suppose that is what attributed to its strength. It is something so relatable; it hits so close to home that the whole progression of the plot just elicited immense joy and sympathy and even compassion. The diary entry approach really worked as well, it paved the way for an interesting casual dialect rather than a typical academic approach that is required for most writing. This allowed for the rhetorical distance between audience and character to be practically abolished and for the reader, or at least for me, to sit here screaming at the last paragraph. Very well done, I love it!

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  25. This piece really reminded me of Japanese literature and brought me back to my freshman year of high school! I loved the progression and development of the plot and speaker that has somewhat mirrored my own personal experiences. I wonder if the speaker had any more diary entries during those two years? It was very well written and left me craving for more

    - Travis Ly

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