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Tuesday, October 10, 2017

"Self-Satisfaction: A Personal Narrative" by Kyla H



     
The year is 2015. The very beginning of a new year; essentially a new start, some 2,000 miles away from home. Engulfed in a small, economically advanced suburb of Minneapolis, my family expected to be reminded of the fun filled, community oriented childhood we experienced growing up in Michigan. With a chilling regular temperature of -12 degrees, taking the steps from the garage door, across the crisp, white blanket of crispy snow, to the freezing cold car, is a challenging task in itself. Fast forward four weeks later to the first day of school in this frigidly white town, I crawl out of a spacious bed before the warming sun comes up to a dark and cold room in an empty, gigantic home. Nerves and worried thoughts raced through my head as I was driven down the long brown slushy roads to my new school. What would these kids be like? Will people like me? What will the students look like? Am I dressed like my peers? These questions would eventually be answered. Needless to say, it is a universal truth that people brought up surrounded by different cultures and societal norms will differ in the way they act, dress, and think. Throughout my experience, I learned the importance of self-satisfaction. Although I might have not recognized this lesson three years ago, it is evident that this understanding of a higher level of self-appreciation and respect was instilled in me without my conscious knowledge. Anyways, getting back the story I am sure you are itching to hear, as my brother and I walk into the double doors of this brand new four-story indoor high school, bustling with over 3,000 students, uneasiness is an understatement. As I am guided to my first class, up three flight of stairs, I think about my friends back in California still in bed sleeping with the time difference playing to their advantage. When I walk into the clean, modernized physical science room, all the blonde heads snap in my direction as I introduce myself. I sit down in my newly assigned seat uneasily and quietly, questioning my appearance and hoping I impressed at least a few peers, all while still feeling the countless similar pairs of colored eyes glancing in my direction. Winter morning after dreadful winter morning, I came and sat in that same seat, with the same insecure feelings, hoping that this day I would impress someone with my appearance or actions, enticing them to befriend me. I was not desperate or even discouraged at the time, I was wanting to get to know other people that I thought I was being forced to spend the rest of my childhood years with. Because I looked and dressed differently than the caucasian, tall, and athletically built blonde and brunette lacrosse and hockey players, I thought I had to change myself to fit in, all in attempt to make friends. I wore expensive jackets and leggings, running shoes and straightened my hair to fit in, but none of these changes aided me in making friends. I wondered why day after day, I was putting myself in an environment in which I was constantly suppressing my personality and remaining quiet because I had no one to talk throughout the day. Over time, I grew more and more tired of eating lunch with my brother and attempting to make friends with people that did not even seem interesting. As a result, I isolated myself and focused on myself, my passions, and my family. I was not going out of my way to befriend people because in reality, no matter how hard I tried I did not fit in. As a result of this shift in my attitude, a hatred for going to school everyday and interacting with my peers grew, which made it so much more relieving when I was told we would be moving back to California . On the flip side, in my solitude, I learned more about myself, my passions, my views, and talents, more than I ever knew was possible. This is when my self-appreciation began to evolve. I realized that I did not need friends to be happy as long as I was taking care of myself and my interests. I
learned that self-love is the basis of motivation in order to perform any task exceptionally. Without being completely satisfied in who you are and what you bring to the table, other people have no reason to respect your full potential and presence. As I look back on those few months in Minnesota, I realize that without this experience, I would never have the level of self-confidence and self-satisfaction I have today. Trying to change my appearance and attitude in an attempt to fit in was simply a mistake, but I am glad I went through this because, while oblivious to the concept being shown to me at the time, now I am able to understand that self-satisfaction is the basis to a more successful way of life.

15 comments:

  1. I really enjoy the authenticity in this piece, being someone who's been in a very similar situation, I can tell that this was how you were genuinely feeling. I love the message you laced through this narrative and how visual you made the story. It makes it very easy for people to really understand the way you felt. Overall very well written!

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  2. Aw Kyla. I never even knew you felt that way when you moved, but I am so glad that you got to come back. Your writing was so genuine and pure, and I really loved to read this. We missed you when you were gone... always a four year!!
    -Katie Yee

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  3. This piece was very well written as I was able to understand how you were feeling. I loved the overall message to this piece as you were able to observe what was really important to you, and not depend on what other people think. I think we all can learn something valuable about this piece. Great job!
    -Eliana Rodriguez

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  4. I found your story extremely enlightening and I feel it is something everyone needs to read. It truly does teach the importance of self satisfaction, which is an extremely valuable, yet difficult thing to develop within oneself. As someone who has gone through this, I believe you have done an incredible job portraying the exact emotions felt in writing. Great work Kyla!

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  5. I relate to this so well because growing up I moved around a lot and going to a new school is very tough at first and I had wanted to change myself as well to fit in but I soon realized that I don't need to change myself and I'm perfectly ok the way I am. Thank you for this amazing story, finally someone that relates to me.

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  6. I really enjoyed how open you were in this piece. It was very well written and you clearly communicated your emotions in those few months of your life. You wrote something that we can all relate to in someway in self-love and self confidence. Great Job!

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  7. I enjoyed reading this piece! I've been in that situation in which my family moved and I did not have any friends due to the fact that I just didn't fit in, so this was a very relatable story. I'm glad that you found self-confidence and self-love through your experience!

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  8. KYLA! Reading this gave me the chills, it was so well written. I’m amazed at how well you could portray your emotions into a story. Having you leave the team was hard yet I never realized how much harder it was for you. Great job on this piece Kyla Hardy :)
    - Taylor vasquez

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  9. KYLAAA!! You did an amazing job and props to you for opening up and letting people in on your emotions during a difficult time in your life. As your friend and a student I enjoyed reading of your shift from a sunny and happy place to a cold and unfamiliar back to your sunny and happy home. Needless to say you completely belong here and you did a fantastic job!

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  10. I really liked the message in this story because I transferred to a new school and wondered about fitting in. This story shows kids that its cooler to be themselves rather than be someone you're not.

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  11. What an amazing story Kyla! It definitely displays the extreme importance of self-satisfaction and the perseverance to go against the social norms of your peers in order to find yourself in a good state of mind. Great piece, I really enjoyed it!

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  12. This is such an inspiring story! I'm glad that you realized that you are the center of importance no matter what surrounding you're in. The way you wrote this holds morals and can hopefully open the eyes of those struggling.

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  13. With the imagery that you used throughout the piece, it felt very real to me. Also very well written. I was engaged throughout the narrative. It is interesting to see what other people do! Oh, what literature can do for a person

    Jeremiah Credo, Period 1

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  14. I must say, this story really hits home for me. I feel like I can relate as I, myself, still remember the loneliness and isolation that comes with moving to a new school. Your descriptions of the thoughts and feelings you had trying to fit in were very captivating and really gave an immersive feel to the unfolding events that followed. I'm glad that you found your own path to a happy life and I hope you continue to focus on what makes you happy.

    - Justin Presto, Period 1

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  15. You did an amazing job opening up about something so personal and overcoming a huge challenge. I really enjoyed reading this and i am glad you realized what you did and how you are the person you are today.

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