A puzzle without edges that will never be
completed, pieces being flipped back and forth, yet never together. A shield
from the world, taking blow after blow, punches, slaps, insults, cries of
mockery, now shattering to the floor, an individual released from torment. It
takes its shape from the reaches of the clouds in the skies to the fiery pits
of hell. It resembles someone who never really was there, vanishing on the
curtails of the wind. A prison with no escape, trapped in the vastness of space
and time, every inch of darkness enveloping the soul. Staring into the eyes of
its observer, waiting to be worn, to give its wearer new life. It sees
everything, listening, interpreting the surrounding environment, yet can never
make a sound, its cries as silent as the enveloping abyss of the vast universe.
Shifting as a disguise, sneaking into hostile territory and becoming friends
with one’s enemy. Don’t be consumed in
its darkening image, trapped within a nightmare fantasmic when wearing it. It
survives the reaches of time, as old as the sand itself, forgotten, yet holding
the valor of a city in its fabrics. The man notices the city, running away but
never finding an escape from its reaches. A drop of water escapes the dam,
tainting its surface, realizing its only fading as a relic, the city locked
within its orange, radiant eyes.
A touch of
exuberance, a hint of comedy, a drop of water, a sheath of stone, a wisp of
air, a gauntlet of fire, the touch of life, god himself appears! Piercing the
hearts of those who see it, yet still providing protection to its master. Hellfire!
Hellfire! A raging inferno roaring across the vastness of the realm, the mind a
blinding array of reds, oranges, and light. Chaos, fear, a destructive force
that’s only limited by the boundaries of its wearer’s mind. Creation!
Destruction! A culmination of life and death, a deafening rage all wisped away
. . . now wisped away . . . back to its fabric, binding structure. A peace
resides, cracks running its surface, a resolve weakening. It hits the ground,
disintegrating into a million pieces, a soul released into the welcoming night
sky. From the pages of time, memory embeds itself into the surface of this
disguise, a mysterious secret to those unaware of it presence. Birthday
parties, dances, robberies, a tool. From professionalism to comedy, watching
someone be a fool. It can laugh and smile in exuberant joy, just like its
wearer, a jubilant young boy. Different cultures, one portrait, its colors so
swirled. A society that wears it throughout the world. A metaphysical idea
transformed into an object by man, but when seeing its enveloping image, he
ran. An object so simple, not hard to describe, yet when retelling its
appearance is impossible to transcribe. A chilling experience when completing
this task, to illustrate the man behind the mask.
I definitely think that this entire piece is a work of art. Your perspective on the complexities of the different aspects that make up a human society and so much more is interesting because you present it in such a way that's very artful, in a style that you've made yourself. Your use of imagery and personification is amazing and it really provokes the mind to try and search for a deeper meaning within. Everything flows nicely and your use of repetition of some phrases makes the piece sound song-like and fun. Overall, I sense a great passion inside. Great job!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading this piece. I feel like you have incorporated everything we have learned in English into this piece and it was wonderful! To start with your imagery was absolutely detailed, describing images and all sorts of colors that just really envelope the reader into the piece. It is so detailed to describe one person, hiding themselves away, that it tells a story within itself, almost a story that each of us may or may not have. Whether you can see the story or not it is there, and you grasped and captured that most definitely. Your sentences are very properly and well structured, correlating with your description very precisely and it worked out very nicely as well. You had thrown in a rhyme in your second paragraph at the end of each sentence which was wonderful as well. All in all, fantastic read!
ReplyDeleteJordan C. P.3
This is definitely an interesting piece. I have to say you did an outstanding job at describing a truly intricate experience. The description of was very impressive. Keep up the good work white lightning.
ReplyDeleteNice story! You did a great job creating this story and putting the imagery into it. The imagery in here was very deep in detail and I was able to see what was being explained. Nice Job!
ReplyDeleteRicky Martin
Period 4
wow! I really loved this! it got deep so fast! its so impactful and it made me want to cry for some reason! the imagery was so solid that the words came out of the page and played, like a movie, in my head! i want to read more! really good job connor i loved this!
ReplyDeleteThis story was amazing so much detail and imagery was wonderful. Great job
ReplyDeleteFrankly and unfortunately, I don't have the literary mind to understand what this extremely well-written piece is illustrating. However, I commend you for your use of just about every single literary device we've ever learned ever. I see some ellipsis, metaphors, rhyming, fantastic imagery and vocabulary, repetition, parallelism, and many, many others...but I think you get the idea. I'm also getting an inspirational tone from the diction of this piece, and it's very speech-like. It is something that I can imagine you delivering to an audience in your "passionate-Connor-ranting-about-life" voice. Very well written, very interesting and I love the high level of description that you were able to maintain throughout the entire piece.
ReplyDeleteRachel Kroll
Period 5
Wow Connor props!!!!! I really enjoyed reading this piece your use of Imagery was spot on and it had a real flow to it all. Still captivated about it all.
ReplyDeleteAlexa Ayala
Period:2
Connor I must applaud your diction and imagery that you utilized in this short story! Nice job when describing the person!
ReplyDeleteConnor this is such a fantastic piece I don't know where to begin. As you know I love fantasy literature and this seems to be the start to an amazing story. I think with just these two paragraphs you could write and entire novel. The descriptions of this man and of this world around him are so intricate and thought out it just blows me away how someone could write something as fantastic as this.
ReplyDeleteI loved how much style and life this piece has. The vivid imagery, outburst of emotions, and use of diction really shape the piece. The rhyme pattern towards the end was also interesting to read and feel; it helped emphasize the beat of the story. Overall, this is a fantastic and very descriptive piece that incorporates the use of various stylistic elements, such as metaphors, repetition and parallelism, that also aids to the intense emotions conveyed. It was a very nice and well written piece!
ReplyDelete-Hannah Baik Period 2
That was a very, very, VERY, detailed piece. I loved your use of imagery and eloquent diction to help shape the writing and make it take on your persona. The intense emotions in the writing hit me like a truck and gave me some type of feels. All around a great piece of writing.
ReplyDelete- Alonso Torres, Period 2
wow, definitely not easy to read the first time, but after understanding what was going on it gave a felling of awe. The amount of imagery and the way it is to used really makes it vivid to the imagination. Overall The images gave a lot of emotions; like fear when hell and fire is mentioned then disaster as things start to disintegrate.
ReplyDeleteGreat job man this was a great piece you had a lot if different imagery that were described so well that it felt like I could have been right there.
ReplyDeleteDarnel Palner
Period: 3