Because the kingdom is encased in the dome, it is uncertain to anyone what surrounds its lands. The royal family claims that the gloomy outside world is run down with thorns and thick, black vegetation that could claw and grasp onto travelers and hold them captive until death by starvation and dehydration. The only look into what lays on the outside of the kingdom can be seen through the limited cracks and brief openings of the sharktoothed front gates of the dome, which only open once every year. Much to the accord of the royal family, commoners claim that they only see darkness when looking through the cracks and openings of the gates. Attempts have been made to escape Crain, but to no avail. Every failed escapee tried to flee in various ways that began and ended in the same result. On a day in which the front gates opened, the escapees would walk down from the golden castle gates, after much deliberation and failed requests from the royal family, down the pale pink carpet to the front sharktoothed gates of the dome. If the royal family's guards hadn't shot them down by the time they had reached the front gates, then they would have to sprint out of the gates before the teeth snapped down and bit them in half. If they were quick enough to escape the jaws, the gates would then be reopened and the guards would run in pursuit, where they would discover the escapee held down in the thick, black vegetation, and the guards would have beaten them, brought them back into the kingdom, and kept them in the golden castle's dungeon.
No one has escaped Crain yet, anyways. I, however, may be the first to do so. My family has locked me away in the castle my whole life, claiming that they were "doing what was best for me" and that "I am too young to know what I want" and that "I am just confused about things". So, I have seventeen years of plotting, studying, and determination that have been building up. The only day of the year that I am allowed to explore the kingdom is the day in which the gates are opened. On this day, the castle's door is unlocked and I am permitted to travel throughout the kingdom, so long as I do not interact with others. Because I am granted this one day at an attempt to attain my freedom, I have been mapping out my escape plan. When I am trapped inside the golden castle, I try to go into the security quarters and study various ways to bypass the systems. I have even figured out how to turn off the sharktoothed gates' system, thus I will be able to keep the front gates from closing on me. The two things holding me back from attaining my freedom and serenity are my family and fear. This is so, for, my family members are not commoners, nor guards they are the royal family. They claim they mean well and they believe that they are sheltering me from harm, but they just do not understand that I want to be free, that I want to be happy. By them limiting my freedom, I am incapable of living my life to the fullest. Thus, I have become numb to various feelings, such as love, joy, and serenity. Instead, I only feel anger, depression, betrayal, and bitter dislike. However, on the one day where I am able to leave the confines of the golden castle, I sense a renewed feeling of fear. For, on those days of partial freedom, adrenaline rushes through my veins as I come face to face with the entrance of Crain's front, open gates. In those moments, I tell myself that I could just go out and be free, but it is the sense of renewed fear that holds me back. This fear has a few components. The fear of pain, both physical and psychological. The fear of failure, both incapability to go through with it and incapability to achieve it. And, the component of fear in which dominated the other two, the fear of the unknown. What happens after I come out and achieve freedom? What lies on the other side of the thick vegetation? Will I be alone? Will it even be worth it?
Even these two factors cannot forever hold me back from my freedom and serenity. Soon, I will escape. And, when I do, I hope I discover that, by taking the chance, it was worth it in the end, for I hope there are infinite opportunities in the life of the rest of the universe.
The imagery in this was remarkable! It definitely gave readers like me a sense of what type of environment the golden castle was and even described the people living in there. The imagery also gave a fictional feeling that reminds me of reading medieval books from when I was a child. Good job :)
ReplyDelete-Arianna Serna
Period 3
I honestly just want to keep reading to see if the character escapes or not and to see if the risk was really worth it! This was filled to the brim with imagery and it really added to emphasizing the plot and giving a feeling of longing to be free. I connected with the character and their sense of wanting to have complete and utter freedom and to get a taste of living life to the fullest. I think since we are teenagers we're sheltered for so many years and it's not until we're 18 and living life on our own that we can really experience those feelings mentioned in this story of joy and serenity. I think this was a very articulate and detailed short story and I'm really happy I got to see your writing again. You're very talented Natalia ! :)
ReplyDeleteI actually got to read this prior to it being on the blog, and I have to admit that I have already read it several times! Natalia you are such an amazing writer, and I would pay for a book filled with your short stories! Your use of imagery, led me to ask questions of who the main character was. I also enjoyed the repetitiveness of the character suggesting that their leaving, this adds to the suspense of the story. You developed the Kingdom of Crain into this historical place, that sounds like it actually exists. I also thought of Kingdom of Crain as a metaphor for the feeling of being trapped. I loved it, but more importantly love you more!
ReplyDeleteMiranda Hidalgo
period.5
Natalia, let me just say that you are an AMAZING writer and I hope you continue to pursue in it. I love your use of imagery because it gives such a vivid picture for the readers to see. I loved your metaphor to express the feeling of being trapped because it is totally relatable
ReplyDeleteJazlynn Garcia
Period 2
Natalia that was a great story! I loved all the vivid imagery thought because it really allows the reader to paint a picture in their mind of what Crain looks like. I also really appreciated your use of detail with the main character's emotions and how she feels trapped by her parents and feels unable to make a life of her own because of this. You touched on a very relatable topic that many teens feel and you showed the risks we have to consider when we decide to leave home. This piece truly caught my attention and made me want to read more.
ReplyDeleteWow... this was a really good story... can anyone make a movie out of this... I would pay to watch it... this was one of my favorite stories this month.
ReplyDelete-Braden Bailey
Natalia this was amazing and you area a truly talented writer! The way you created these characters was great and the emotions displayed were compelling. I can even relate wanting my freedom but nervous of whats out there in the world.
ReplyDeleteAlexa Ayala
period 2
This was a great story you are one great writer and you had such great imagery throughout the piece what a great story hope u make more
ReplyDeleteWith the amount of detail in this piece its hard not to visualize the Kingdom of Crain, especially in the intro. I got so into this piece that it felt as if I was the main character and soon my emotions matched theirs. That then led me to make connections to my own life and how I relate to the character in wanting to leave. I loved how mysterious you left the main character only giving few pieces of information on their thoughts. Great writing and hopefully you finish so I can see what happens next.
ReplyDeleteDarian Henry
Period 2
NATALIAAA. This was absolutely amazing! I loved your diction and use of imagery in this, and even how this was personal at some parts and also very relatable. When you mentioned the way the family was a little unresponsive toward their strong willed child, that really hit home for me, and I'm sure other people can relate to that too. You're so talented, girl. Keep up the great work!
ReplyDelete-Kelene Hirata
Per. 2