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Tuesday, October 20, 2015

"Glow Sticks" by Ashley G



Its Halloween night Sammy, Bob, Charlie and Lilo are on their way to a Halloween party. The house they're going to is deep in the Claremont woods. They all struggle to carry their candy filled pillow cases up the steep hills. A week prior to this night they were invited by a good friend named Jeff he had said he only wanted a couple of groups to go, but they still new Jeff was known to be a big partier. Sammy and Bob where the only ones who knew how to get through the forest after all they hiked a lot together. Sammy came up with a game and said “Okay, Lilo and Charlie, Bob and I will go run up 50 feet and leave glow sticks leading to the house”. They agreed to play the game. They had about 50 green glow sticks which was way more than needed since they were only 1 mile away. They gave them a 2 minute head start. 2 minutes pass, Lilo and Charlie head off to go find the glow sticks. Halfway up they hear a scream a long distance away, but think nothing of it because it was expected that Sam would try and scare them. At this point they can't see any-more green glow sticks, but then they see a little red thing laying on the ground they then realized as they got closer that it was a red glow stick. They now can barely see the house lead by red glow sticks. They walked up to the house discussing why they think Sammy and Bob changed the glow stick color they already knew they had red ones but they said they would use the green glow sticks. Since there phones were nearly dead or dead by the end of the night they couldn't call each other if anything happened. They didn’t seem to see Sammy and Bob anywhere but thought nothing of it and thought they were out having fun as well. A couple hours later Lilo and Charlie decide to leave and head home, getting a ride down the hills and home. They get home plugged their phones in and went to sleep. The next morning they end up waking up late. They leave their phones and rush to school. All day at school there was no sign of Sam and Bob later when Lilo got home it isn’t until then she notices the hundreds of missed calls and voicemails left by Sam they are all of Sam and Bob screaming frantically for help. They give police all the information they know. The next week their schools flag is raised at half-staff. Lilo reads in the newspaper “ On 11/1/15 two students found dead in Claremont woods, bound together with glow sticks tied around there necks, hanging from a tree.” Lilo and Charlie are devastated, but time passes. Newspaper-“Two students found dead on 11/1/16. The cause is still unknown, the two college kids were found in the Claremont woods bound-together, surrounded by glow sticks.”

32 comments:

  1. This short story is perfect for the month of October because it provides a thrilling feeling when you read it. Good job Ashley, I hope you continue to write I really want to know what happened to Sam and Bob. For example were they murdered by someone? Did a monster kidnap them and then killed them? Or was it all done by a spirit? I really enjoyed your thrilling story!
    -Miren Cancio
    Period 5

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  2. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this story. Job well done! You used imagery to describe the Claremont forest, pathway to the house, and the significance of the colors green and red for the glow sticks, which really helped out in developing your story. You structured your sentences quite nicely and really added suspense to the story by not claiming who or what killed the boys. You created something very interesting to read with a lot of detail. Very well done!

    Jordan C. P.3

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  3. I like how it relates to the time of the year, very scary.Also I like how you built up the climax and then finished it with a good plot twist.

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  4. I loved reading this blog entry because I think it fits well with the upcoming holiday of Halloween. Not only do the beginning sentences build up suspense as to what is going to occur, but they also add to the dark imagery in this short story. The shift from green glow sticks to red ones also furthers the use of dark imagery, since red can be associated with blood and the devil. The newspaper clipping at the end of the story made me upset only because I really want to continue reading. I'm left wondering if a serial killer had murdered Sammy and Bob, or if some supernatural being got to them.
    Well done!
    Natalia Garcia
    Period 2

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  5. I had been waiting to read a seasonal short story like this, I really enjoyed how it was concise yet it obtained all the important elements of a full length story. I liked how the first few sentenced built up to a perfect climax and even during the falling actions until the very end was I left wanting to know more details about how the kids were killed and who it was that killed them. A perfect rendition of a classic, short, horror story. Well done!
    ~Dulce
    P2

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  6. This was very eerie and certainly gave me the chills while reading it. I thought this story fit perfectly to the October theme as Halloween is approaching. I loved how you described the story because it easily painted a picture in my head where kids are going to a party in the woods while holding a pillow case filled with candy. Also, I like how the kids were happy because they got a lot of candy and then it turned to a bad night, where two of them died. It was a very surprising and unique ending that it made me want to read more. All in all, it was a great piece!

    - Jessie Santos
    Period 1 Cogswell

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  7. I thought this story was amazing you put so much effort into this story. It's very scary and very interesting. You did an amazing job.
    Period.1
    Katlyn

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  8. pretty good for a short horror story i wouldn't say it was scary but it is definitely something to think about i like how you ended the story they thought that the two were having fun like they were but they weren't
    -Eric Edwards

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  9. To me this piece is very original and goes great with the month of October. I like how descriptive you where but still didn't over complicate the story. And when starting it off you didn't really know where it was going but that it was ominous.

    Karina Blocker
    Period 4

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  10. This piece puts in the spirit of October. Very interesting, not too complicated either. I'll always love a good story like that. Keep writing!

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  11. Very scary story! I enjoyed reading it because it was very suspenseful... And I also liked how you allowed the reader to decide what happened to the boys. Overall, great story and perfect for the month of October!
    -Victoria Ervin
    Period 1

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  12. I really like this story because it was very detailed and i love how its spooky and enjoyable to read.

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  13. This was a perfect story to tell in October. The fact that Halloween is coming up makes me want to be extra cautious with my surroundings. Good Job
    -Michael Dingle
    Period 5

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  14. I really enjoyed reading this horror story because I like reading suspense and horror pieces. It was very entertaining and I liked the detail and imagery you used!

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  15. I liked your story and the way you built up your climax.I personally think that the two kids murdered the following year are Charlie and Lilo because of the similar death I hope i'm right. Great story Ashley.
    Johnny Delacruz
    Per 2

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  16. Awesome story! i love how it was building up to the climax. I also like how it was a similar death the same day next year. The imagery you used was really good. keep up the good work.

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  17. I personally enjoyed reading this short story. I also liked the fact how you were getting the readers to get hooked on to the story because the story led to excitement and chills. The story itself has a very interesting plot twist to it, and its a really amazing story for Halloween. I'm actually quite curious of how the two boys die, since that ran to my thought while i was reading through the story.
    - Michelle Truong
    Period 1

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  18. This story is a very scary story to read it's very suspenseful and to know what hapens every year in october in the the claremont woods.
    Alexis Medina
    period 4

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  19. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  20. This story was great. The suspense of this story made it really scary. This was a good topic to choose because Halloween is so near. Good job.
    Period 4
    Justin flores

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  21. I love the story. The story is perfect for October because it is Halloween and everything is scary and creepy. Its sad that kids die. But this will help me not to on in to the woods on Halloween or any night. GREAT CREEPY STORY FOR THE TIME OF THE YEAR!

    MIKAYLA SEALS
    Per.4

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  22. This story was so great because really set the mood for Halloween right around the corner! I really enjoyed this story and it gave me chills.
    -Ashlee Franks
    per 4

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  23. This story can be seen as either a murder mystery or an ominous tale of spooky antics. Either way, it was an enjoyable read. The use of glowsticks felt like a key component of the story to shroud the deaths in mystery and evoke fear in readers, so you could say the glowsticks "tie up" loose ends. I'm sorry, that was bad. But this story isn't. Good job.

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  24. This piece got me even more excited for Halloween on Saturday! Very spooky, fun, and creative Ashley. Keep up the story telling because have a great imagination.

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  25. Great piece! It's great for this time of the year. I love how it was short and to the point but still very interesting.
    Daveena San
    Per. 2

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  26. I really enjoyed your story it made me feel the Halloween sprit. the beginning was really amazing
    then the ending and the plot twist had me at a full surprised!!! Wonderful story!!

    ~zya woody
    period 4

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  27. This was a very interesting and original story, very intriguing. I absolutely love this piece, I loved the tragedy, the horror, everything. It was just an overall amazing piece and went with the month of October perfectly!!!! I really enjoyed this story, very creative and fun to read, well done!!!!

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  28. You did a great job! The short story is the perfect theme for Halloween. It was very well detailed and I like how you left the story in suspense by not addressing who or what the killer was. This left me with such curiosity. The setting of the story you included was also a fantastic idea because: what could be scarier than walking to a house in the middle of a forest at night? I hope you can write us another story explaining who or what killed Sam and Bob.

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  29. Ashley I'd never thought I'd say this but glow sticks are scary. You bring on this statement because the woods and the red glow sticks and the kills. Honestly the story was well put together, you did a great job.

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  30. This is the perfect story to read days before Halloween. It's gave me chills and definitely put me in the Halloween spirit. I also really love the lesson this short story provides the reader, be safe on Halloween and stay close to your friends. Don't split up or do anything silly. The story is able to provide this message while still being quite entertaining. So good job!!
    -Annika Joshi, period 5

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  31. This was very disturbing and definitely had the spooky Halloween vibe to it. it was well written how it got kinda suspenseful and then the story unfolds into this mysterious murder story.

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  32. This was such a creative and entertaining story, and as everyone else said, is perfect for Halloween! Good job, keep up the good work!
    - Kelene Hirata
    Per, 2

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