A girl in my class named April gets
bullied a lot because people call her ugly, stupid, and weird. April is one of
my good friends, one day April was at school and at lunch time. As usual people
are making fun of her face and being mean, then Sandra McDonald pushes April on
the floor and called her terrible things, Sandra McDonald was the meanest
person in the school. No one has ever fought or talked back to her until April.
April suddenly got up and said “it’s not a mask, it’s my face”, also, “ I’m
tired of people calling me names, so please stop”. The next week everyone said
hello to Apriland didn’t call her names anymore. Then Sandra, said sorry to
April and to all the people she was mean to. April and Sandra became the best
of friends.
Find the shape and tell it!
First things first, you have a good story going here which is awesome. Bullying is a very prevalent issue in our society and is especially concentrated in high school and middle school so, thank you for acknowledging it in some way. On the flip side, your piece needs to be developed and provide more details next time. :)
ReplyDeleteI liked this short story, it shows that if someone is getting bullied they should stand up to the bully. This piece was very short, however it brought upon a good theme. At the end, I enjoyed how you mentioned Sandra and April became friends because it shows that even people who have had issues before can become friends.
ReplyDelete-Miren Cancio
Period 5
I find your short story to be the definition of "short", and compelling due to its simplicity. I thought your story had good meaning, but I would like to see more character development and detail. I also found small grammar mistakes that could be fixed next time before posting! I enjoyed the twist ending, when April (the girl being bullied), took action and faced her enemy. April, and the narrator becoming best friends also added to the sweetness of the story. Keep writing, and best of luck to you as your writing career continues to grow!
ReplyDeleteMiranda Hidalgo
period. 5
I enjoyed your story and the what it is about, bullying, which is always a good topic to write about. I think next time you should develop your characters and story line more so the readers could get a bigger picture when reading. And when you do that you will instantly attract more readers.
ReplyDeleteJazlynn Garcia
Period 2
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI loved the story's theme of bullying, it's a good topic and it's very relatable. There is nothing wrong with what you wrote, however your story would have been ten times better if you extended and developed your characters farther. When you are writing about such a big topic, like bullying, you have the ability to make an impact on some one' s life. Overall, good job!
ReplyDelete-Emily Gonzalez
P2
Your piece was on a very important topic , bullying is something that has been going on forever and really needs to stop . The only way it can be stopped is if people start standing up for themselves and others . It shouldn't be ignored , so I applaud you for writing on such an important issue that is really prominent in high school and middle school . I feel you could have had a big impact on your readers if you proved more details, and developed the story more . Good job !
ReplyDeletei don't know how the ugliest person and the meanest person can become best friends just like that but good story you talk about bullying and standing up for yourself good story
ReplyDelete-Eric Edwards
Awesome stort with a great moral value. Thew story has a different ending with the person being the one to stand up for them selves, usualy its a friend or siblin. So good job at making it unique.
ReplyDeleteKarina Blocker
period 4
I loved the story and very great plot! I wish it would've been longer but i love how they become best friends in the end! Amazing story abouy bullying by the way and i do hope to read more ~Julianna Alvarado period 1
ReplyDeleteI think your story was amazing because April stood up to the bully. When April stood up to the bully it helped the bully realize that people are not different that they all are the same on the inside. AMAZING STORY!
ReplyDeleteMIKAYLA SEALS
Per.4
I loved this short story, it didn't have a lot of words but yet had so much meaning left behind it. It really was a great story and I loved how simple the plot is and it shows how you can easily stand up for yourself and gain respect. I enjoyed reading it, and the moral of the story was sweet. You did a great job!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteThis short story was really great; it deals with an important subject matter and shows how important it is to stand up if someone is being bullied. The piece is inspiring and exactly how these types of situations should be handled. Awesome job!
ReplyDelete-Aubrianne Milton
Period 5
It may be a short story, but the message it holds is so much greater than it appears. Not only did you develop the beginnings of a well thought out plot, but in addition you portrayed an issue that needs more attention, which you certainly gave it.
ReplyDelete