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Sunday, November 16, 2014

"Biggest Mistake" by Valerie P.



      ”Please Dad, how do you expect me to be social and at least try to fit in if you don't even let me go to a party that is only like 2 miles away” I said in an impatient tone.
      “Really Veronica do you actually think I am going to let you go to a party where there is obviously going to be drugs and achohl, no your out of you mind” .
     ”If mom was still here with us she would of let me go” I said at the same time running to my room. 
     When I was about eleven years old my mom was diagnosed with bone cancer. About two years later the chemo stopped working and the next thing you know I am at her funeral surrounded by people crying and her loved ones  . Since then my whole life was turned around. My dad thought that moving to a different city would be a fresh start , but like always he was wrong . I started to become really emo and hanging out with the wrong people and doing the craziest things. “ I am not staying at home again on a Friday night , no way” I said to myself. I locked my door got my purse and sneaked out using the window leading to the front lawn. It was already 7:00 so I decided to take the short cut which was on a deserted road. I continued walking when I noticed that a white truck was following me . I turned the corner hoping he still wouldn't be there , I turned around slowly making sure he knew I wasn't expecting anything yet he was still there. So I decided to make a run for it when I noticed he was right behind me catching up to me and the last thing I remember was being thrown in the truck of the white truck.”
     At about 7:00pm a girl under the name Veronica Hastings was kip napped heading to a friends party if you have any information about her disappearance people call the number listed below” I was woken up by the tv going on in the other room. It took me time to process that all of that happened under a hour and I still couldn't believe that I could die due to one simple mistake. I tried to feel if I still had my phone which was luckily still there in my back pocket of my pants. Using all my strength I pushed my self to the side and took my pants off with my legs and through it over my head with my mouth I got my phone and dialed the only person in my head .
      “Dad! I'm sorry I don't know what to do please help me I'm scared”
     .”it's okay just breathe do you have any idea where you might be , do you hear any music or anything familiar” . 
     “Umm the only thing I could hear is circus music like they used to play at the annual circus “ I said in a frighten voice. 
     “ I know exactly were you are I'm on my way with the police “ . I layed there still waiting to hear the sirens to a police car and my dads footsteps running to hug me,yet it  never came.

4 comments:

  1. Wow. That was really good. i like how you described how she was waiting to hear the police sirens and her dads footsteps. Really good job!

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  2. You did a great job! It was very intense. I was so shocked when she got kidnapped and they didn't find her.

    Jocelyn Rangel
    P.2

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  3. That was an intense story! It reminded of the movie "The Call". I was so curious to find out what would happen next when she got kidnapped. You should definitely make a part 2 on what happens next.

    Shayan Khan
    Period 6

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  4. Margaret Moyer
    Per.5
    This piece is sad and the fact she wasn't found amplified this fact. I think it was a good choice to end it like that and it left a very good message. I feel like people aren't careful thinking things like this can't happen to them and yet it happens every day. The usage of your diction of a teenage girl and it truly helped the tone of the dark piece.

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