On
June 1, 1944, a man in uniform read a note:
“You
have been notified that Lieutenant Charles Redwood has been officially reported
as missing since the 6th of March, 1944, and there appears to be conclusive
proof that he is dead. For official purposes, he is presumed to have died on or
since the above mentioned date...”
The
woman screamed.
She
fell on her knees.
Her
only son-her only child was gone.
Charlie
told her that he would finally come home this year before the holiday season.
From a young age, he wanted to become a pilot; he was fascinated with the
possibility of flight. So every Christmas, she bought him an airplane model kit
and even as he grew older, she continued to do so for tradition’s sake. There
were three kits covered in gift wrap.
She
crawled inside her house and awaited her husband’s arrival from work . . .
Hours
passed.
As
she looked up from a crouched position on the floor, she saw a portrait of
Charlie. The combination of freckles and a winning smile deemed him handsome,
but a still frame could never exude his boisterous laugh, his noble integrity,
or his sweet disposition.
Paralyzed
with shock, she blankly stared ahead. She contemplated the fact that she could
never see, hear, or hug him again.
Five
days trudged along.
President
Roosevelt asked the nation to join him in prayer prior to the D-Day operation.
She
fervently prayed knowing many men would die: fathers, brothers, and sons alike.
She had so eagerly waited for Charlie to come home, but now, she didn’t have to.
This story got a few tears running down my face. Losing someone, especially a loved one, is very painful. I like how your story is straightforward and simple. for a short piece, it really can get someone emotional. You did a beautiful job Kat!
ReplyDeleteWait, what? Did the mother "die" at the end in order to be with her son? How did she die if she did die? Awwwww so many questions. On the other hand this story was very well written. The scene when the man gives the mother the "bad news" was very realistic and i could perfectly picture the dread and despair the mother felt from getting the news. The story also does a good job in getting into the mother's mind so the reader knows what she is thinking and receives some background of the fallen soldier. Overall an enjoyable story.
ReplyDeleteWow, this was really really good. The thought of losing a loved one really affects me, and reading this excerpt really got me thinking. Just the title on its own "Regarding Charlie", along with the material you have is something I could actually see being an effective motion picture. Great job, this was a really excellent piece!
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh, your piece nearly made me tear-up. It was so touching that I felt compelled to read it aloud to my mom. My grandfather was an Air Force pilot for thirty years and reading this piece, I could not help but think of the many men he witnessed fall in battle. As difficult as it was for him to see his friends and comrades die in combat, I cannot imagine the pain which met the mothers of those young men. Your incorporation of historic context greatly intensified the overall effect of the piece and your controlled use of elevated diction made it even more impactful. Our nation's success in WWII is still celebrated today, and now, through your selection, the sacrifice of that great conflict can also receive the recognition it deserves. Well done!
ReplyDelete-Christina Tapia
Great job kat! this short story was very powerful to those who have lost a loved one. The diction used very good at describing the events and the imagery played out in my head like a movie. Good job
ReplyDeleteOh, this story really reached me. The emotion behind it all was so easily portrayed and I could feel it. I really enjoyed how you worked in a piece of history into your plot. It really added to the overall effect, as those aware of the period can relate a bit more. Your piece was also nicely written and had no mistakes to distract me from the plot. I also like how you organized it, keeping most of it short and to the point. Very much enjoyed this.
ReplyDeleteThis piece was so moving I couldn't help but continue to read. I think what I loved the most was that nothing in it was sugar coated and it just was the pure emotion of what a mother might have felt during that time. It was wonderful to read something that was more realistic and raw so kudos to you!
ReplyDelete-Rachael Rubalcava
Oh my goodness! This was absolutely amazing... It's so powerful because it can happen to anyone! I really liked how you chose a different kind of nightmare for the month of October. I loved the descriptions used and how the dates were not modern (: By far my favorite!
ReplyDeleteTaylor Robles
I almost teared up! I like how simple your piece is, but at the same time it's filled with so much emotion and diction that it makes it complex. Just from the title, I was captivated by your piece and it didn't fail to amaze me. I really like how you chose to write about a part of history that isn't as recognized today as it should be by society. Well done!
ReplyDeleteWow! What a very well written story that actually had me feeling a bit sad! The fact that many families have lost loved ones serving our country makes for a very sensitive topic, however, it's done so well that there are no complains. Hopefully you weren't motivated to write this piece because you've lost someone very close to your heart serving for our country. I was able to picture your whole story in my head and the fluency of your writing was well thought out.
ReplyDeletegreat job on the story. i thought it was very great and even had me a little emotional. all in all it was very good good job
ReplyDeleteWow that was amazing. It was great at grasping the readers attention and getting them emotionally involved in the story. I loved that you wrote about the topic you did, because in a way it honors our fallen, former, and current soldiers and the effort and sacrifice they put into our protection.
ReplyDeleteThis story was was scary. Liked all the description you made
ReplyDeleteDevin Jennings
p.2
This is a depressing story, but I enjoyed it. I like how you were on point with the World War Two event, D-Day. It contributes to the story because many people are familiar with the high casualties of the war day. It then makes the story even sadder because I, as a reader, imagine all of the other families that have to face the loss of loved one, just like the mother in the story. I really like how you used the mother’s loss to demonstrate how many may have reacted towards the lost of their loved ones from the battle. It acts as a reality check for people who didn’t lose loved ones from the war because they don’t know what it feels like.
ReplyDeleteThat poor mother! I love the reference to history that you implemented into your story. Also, I love how you touched on the excitement the mother had at her son returning and then crushing it with the letter. With a limit on word usage, you managed to create a touching story withs something that a lot of people can relate to! Good job!
ReplyDeleteThis piece was so heart-wrenching, even with its short length. Your imagery and detail really helped me envision Charlie and feel his mother's loss as personal too. I especially loved your last sentence, that "now, she didn't have to." The paradox of that is so thought-provoking. Yes, she didn't "have to" sit at home all day, worrying about her son and waiting for him to come home safely, but at the same time, the only thing worse is for her to lose him altogether. This paid a great tribute to anyone and everyone who has ever sacrificed their lives for our freedom, all the Charlie's of the world.
ReplyDeleteThis story was very well delivered. I did not only know what the mother was thinking at the moment but also some past memories and the setting of a very well known period of time. The third person point of view made it sound a little detached but it helped transition to the ending and how many people were dying and not just her son. This was just great overall.
ReplyDelete