" How to Show Gratitude to your Humans 101" by Charlize C

 

Mr. Woofs-a-lot starts class as usual, with the simple greeting of a polite bark as his students enter the classroom. As the students settle in, it gradually becomes rowdy and messy. Paws, dirt, everywhere. Trancing up to the teacher’s podium, Mr. Woofs-a-lot gets their attention.

“Squirrel!” he says, with a harsh tone, powerful for a giant St. Bernard himself.

 

Beady eyes, various colors, ears perked, their heads facing to the front. The teacher turns around and picks up a piece of chalkboard with his mouth. As he started writing today’s lesson, the screeching of the chalkboard caused the students in the room to go HAM! Howling, growling, and whimpering to the noise.

 

“Quiet!” said one of the students, Darcy, the Australian Shepard. She was obedient, the leader of the pack, and the brightest.

Again, the classroom was quiet, facing the front. Mr. Woofs-a-lot dropped the piece of chalk on his podium, stepped to the side, and revealed what he had written on the board: How to Show Gratitude to Your Humans 101. Picking up the Windsor glasses that dangled on his fluffy chest, he began reading the lesson plan from a book he had on the podium.

“We dogs have thrived along with humans for thousands of years, we repay their kindness in many ways, like hunting with them,” he says, his words thoughtful and slow.

 

The students’ many nods and blinks assured Mr. Woofs-a-lot that they were paying attention—most of them. He continued with a bit more background on how humans and dogs worked together and how the concept of man’s best friend includes loyalty, trust, and commitment. The teacher then paused and looked up from the podium.

“Can anyone give me good examples of how dogs show their gratitude to their owners?”

The first student to answer was Hamburger, an obese little pug eager to participate. His words have no filter, no shame. Many dogs wonder why his name is Hamburger, but many can make inferences.

“Pee on their bed!” he calls out with utmost pride.

Snickers can be heard forming around the room, some agreeing with Hamburger.

“Not quite,” Mr. Woofs-a-lot shook his head, although he found Hamburger’s response amusing.

“Borrowing their socks,” another dog, Bismarck, a Wetterhoun breed, says with a strong accent, giggling with his peers.

 

Still, Mr. Woofs-a-lot disagrees, scanning around the room for another answer. Sounds of scritching and scratching came from outside the classroom door. Everyone’s heads turned, and expectedly, every student barked, growled, and cried out.

“It’s open,” the teacher yelled to the door, louder than the ruckus the other dogs were making.

 

Slowly, the door opened, and a small, scrawny, and shaky Chihuahua entered the classroom. Everything fell silent. They watched as she pranced her way to her seat. She looked intimidated, her eyes dodgy from the hard stares from her classmates.

“You’re late.”

“Yes, I know, I am so very sorry, my owner he–” Before going into her excuse, Mr. Woofs-a-lot interrupts.

“Would you be so kind as to share with the class how you would show gratitude to your human?”

 

She was hesitant, and it took her a while to form words. Luckily, this topic was familiar to her. They waited patiently, intent on hearing the dog’s every word.

“Love them unconditionally. No matter what. Be there for them, even at their lowest,” She continues, “Place your trust in them because they are our home and only home.”

The Chihuahua pauses once more, then continues.

“And, don’t wet the bed.”

The classroom was filled with laughter.

“Wonderful,” Mr. Woofs-a-lot remarked before going further into the lesson.

The Chihuahua smiled shyly, and her shivering stopped, placing her full attention on the class.

Psst.

Hamburger caught her attention, smiling cheerfully at her.

“Nice one, Stupid,” He whispers, wagging his tail.

Stupid looked down to her collar, where her name was displayed on a dirty copper tag.

“Thanks, Hamburger,” She replied, her voice qu