"My Transition to a Manhood" by Rohan J

  

It was August 19th, 2016. I was celebrating my birthday in the hospital with my grandma. She was in a hospital bed with stage 4 pulmonary fibrosis, a deadly cancer which leads to eventual lung failure. We cut the cake, sang and said our goodbyes while my parents stayed the night. That would be the very last time I saw my grandma as she passed exactly 11 days later on August 30th. I had watched a discussion a while back in which two people were talking about what it means to grow. One of the speakers said “Many think that the development of maturity begins with getting a job or your driver’s license. That’s wrong. Maturity starts when you have someone who you care for and think about, someone who is dependent on you helping them carry on with their daily lives.”

            The passing of my grandmother marked this moment for me. I felt immense grief and sadness which is very difficult to put in words for me. I do not believe myself to be an adult or carry the burden of being one, but as I undertook a large task, I felt as if this was the start of building my maturity. Within weeks of her passing, I found myself with an array of new tasks and concerns which had never plagued my mind before. I was now the main caretaker of my younger sister and my elderly grandpa at 11 years old. All of a sudden I had to wonder, ‘What am I going to cook for lunch when I get home for my sister and myself?”, or ‘I need to be home in time to walk my sister home from school.” My grandfather due to age did not have the greatest motor skills and would need help doing simple things like getting a glass of water, putting his dinner plate in the sink or cleaning up his own spill. After my grandmother died, my grandfather launched into depression as well. For this reason, I always tried to be available and in his presence. As months went by, he made a good recovery and it was good to see him back to his normal self.

            It was during this time I learned how to cook, clean and look after more than just myself. Although it was very unfortunate, the skills I quickly learned will be a lifelong help to me. Two years after this occurrence, my uncle and his family from India got their immigration approved and stayed with us until they could get on their feet. I had two younger cousins who came under my care as well, as their parents were working often to build up some money to start anew here. So now not only did I care for 3 younger siblings but also my grandpa. Sometimes I felt like another parent in the household. 

            The youngest sibling at the time was 6 years old in the first grade. I did everything from cook meals to help with homework. I was with them everywhere, whether it was to play basketball or when I walked back home from their school with them. At the time of this, life did not feel like a blessing but I have realized that the lessons I learned were plenty enough to call it a blessing. These experiences all greatly heightened my levels of patience and understanding. I most definitely learned why disciplining was necessary and gained the ability to teach. The skill of teaching was very important as I became a tutor online and for some of my teachers. It was almost the beginning of 2019 when they were able to find their own home and now they’re more like family than cousin to me.      

            All of these accumulated experiences and skills aided heavily in caring more for my grandfather who got diagnosed with skin cancer last year. I had to blend his meals up because he was only capable of drinking liquids and helped him walk up the stairs and more. The most simple capabilities of the human body were ruined and I learned that health is often taken for granted as it was by me. These small tasks piled up very quickly. It could be giving him water and protein shakes, making breakfast and lunch, helping him get to the restroom and bedroom, or even just dealing with his very hopeless outlook. But with the combined effort of my family and myself, he has made a full recovery and is thriving again.

            I think the way my life has unfolded represents the meaning of the butterfly effect. If any one of these events did not occur, I feel that I would not be half the person I am today. These events have been absolutely crucial in my growth and development as a person. With college now on the horizon, I believe I am truly ready to be alone and carry myself as an