"I Am Not Speed" by Jeffrey B

 

I recently got my license in August of 2021. The amount of time I spent learning about the rules of driving was about to be paid off. I remember it all happening so fast. I got behind the wheel and ended up passing with only 6 mistakes. After a week of trying to convince my reluctant parents, I was finally able to drive myself to school, and my dad handed the keys to me. I vividly remember the first time I left the parking lot at the end of the school day. As I began to speed up I felt a rush of happiness and satisfaction rush through my veins, and my inner being itself felt free as if it was originally restrained from what it truly desired.

            There was one particular day that I will remember for the rest of my life. It was 7:44 AM, and there were no cars around other than mine as I approached the same route I always take to school. I felt that same rush of adrenaline and satisfaction as I sped up. Of course I checked my speedometer, and it read around 40-45 mph, and I maintained that as I came closer to the green traffic lights at the end of the street. I was calm and collected until after I crossed the lights. After that, I noticed a set of flashing lights behind me and as I looked with unbelief in the rearview, I saw a white car with the words Rancho Cucamonga Police on the side doors. Immediately I could feel my heartrate begin to rise ever higher as I tried to take deep breaths and park the car. The officer came to my window, asked me how fast I was going, and if I knew what I did wrong. I thought for a moment and said I didn’t know. You see, on the way to my school, I had to pass by Summit Intermediate school as well, and the officer told me I was speeding in a school zone and that’s when it hit me. On that day I was so thrilled that I had forgotten about the school zone, and blew right by the speed limit of 25 mph without seeing it. When I realized this, I tried to speak but it was as if I swallowed my tongue. It felt like my own mind betrayed me and gave me the silent treatment, and all I could manage to let out was “oh”. I could say nothing else and only stare at myself in shock.

            The officer asked for my license and told me to wait before going back to his car. In these moments I tried my best to calm myself. My mind would not allow it, and kept shouting the words “YOU ARE DEAD, DAD AND MOM ARE GONNA KILL YOU” repeatedly. My surroundings were not helping either. The red and blue flashing lights of the officer’s squad car reflected from the window onto my face, and for a moment I felt like a criminal on the run, in an almost cinematic way. Even though it wasn’t that serious of a situation it was the first time this ever even happened to me and I was terrified. By the time the officer came back and handed me my speeding ticket(he guessed that it was my first one) my brain was absolutely fried. The officer didn’t tell me how much the fee was and said I was free to go. I called my dad and told him what happened, and he seemed very disappointed, mainly because the insurance was going to go up. When I told my friends, they all were in shock and gave me a little bit of comfort but I was still scared of how much the fee would be. The rest of the day felt like forever, and I couldn’t focus as much on school. I came home and my parents were being very strange as I told them the story. My dad just said we needed to figure out how much the fee was, and seemed very neutral, which scared me even more than if he would’ve been angry. My mom was the same way, which set every nerve in my body on high alert.

            So eventually we found out that the fee was over $400 and when I learned that I immediately thought to myself “I am definitely not getting any Christmas presents this year.” I looked up why the fine was so high, and I learned that they usually are for teens because most are usually reckless drivers, and there had to be a suitable punishment that motivated them to be better. The speeding ticket itself said to go to court to pay the fine or fight against it, and we went the first time to appeal and then learned that my actual trial date was on December 8th. While I was waiting for that day to come, I still drove to school, church, and other places to meet friends. While I was still driving however, I always felt a small twinge of guilt deep in my heart, like a poison that prevented me from truly enjoying driving. It was like I was now stained, after just a few months of driving clean, and now I had to go to court to face my mistake. On the day of the trial I walked in with my dad, since I was still a minor, and the judge called all attendance. Then the most miraculous thing happened. My name was called, however the officer that gave me the ticket was not present, and so I was free to go and the case was dismissed as well as the ticket. I couldn’t believe it, and when I walked out the door I felt a sense of relief wash over me like a wave washing away the stain on my driving record. I now realize that while driving can be exhilarating it is important to look around your surroundings, and make sure you are enjoying that freedom at the right time. I also just go extremely slowly past Summit Intermediate now but that will get better with time. When my dad and I went back to the car, he asked me if I wanted to drive. I thought for a moment…….and said “nah.”