"The 10 Steps of Dating Someone Who Hates You" by Shalom M.

 

Everyone has moments in their life that they have to be brave for. Like when you have to face your parents after getting caught sneaking back into your room from the most monumental Wednesday night party of your high school life or when you have to accept the medal of [insert miscellaneous award name] in front of the whole entire student body. In those moments you just have to swallow all your fears and put the most convincing smile on your face so you can stick to the status quo.

And then there are moments where you just can’t confess to the person you like no matter how hard you try. So you act as obnoxious as possible, hoping to get their attention, and end up being hated by the one person you really like.  

Hi. I’m Q and I have a problem. Let’s call this problem L but it's reality, it’s how L feels about me that’s a problem.

 

The 10 Steps of Dating Someone Who Hates You

NUMBER ONE:

You would think because of all the movies being shoved down our throats about true love and relationships that we would be a generation that is willing to go to extremes to get that happy ever after right? Wrong. So very wrong.

I guess I can say this started when I was scrolling through Instagram and saw L had finally accepted my request. It wasn’t like I was checking every other day to see if the cute person from my chemistry class had finally let me see their page. Their first post was them at Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf. Maybe I should give it a try, I mean if L likes it it has to be good right?

NUMBER TWO:

I can say that I am addicted to the Matcha Lattes from Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf now.

But despite going there everyday before school, I still haven’t run into L. I was thinking that maybe, just maybe, I’d run into them there and strike a conversation and suddenly they would fall in love and we would live ride off into the sunset with our drinks in hand.

Okay… too much? I just don’t know how to approach them. Giving a presentation in front of a class or a speech in front of judges seems like cake walk when feelings aren’t involved.

Maybe I’ll just try dressing better. I read in some magazine targeted for our age demographic that the best way to get someone’s attention without actually talking to them is to make a drastic change to your appearance and hope they notice.

NUMBER THREE:

This dressing better thing isn't working out. The whole point was to stand out but instead I just blend in with half of my chemistry class. L didn’t even turn their head. I mean.. I could just talk to them like a normal person and confess my feelings but that’s way too cliche. Plus the fear of rejection is too high so I’ll stick to my chances of them magically falling in love with me.

I just have to give them a reason to notice me.

NUMBER FOUR:

After doing everything I can imagine from dancing in the middle of lunch to taking art classes after school, I still haven’t impressed L. I’m starting to think they don’t even use Instagram because no matter what I post, they never comment on anything.

I did give L my calculus homework and they made a joke about them wasting all their time watching Disney+. I totally didn’t lie and say that I do the same thing. L started talking about WandaVision and I guess I found out what I’m going to be binging over the weekend.

NUMBER FIVE:

Even though L looks at me more often now, I still haven’t been able to get my point across. How exactly do you say “I think you’re amazing and we should date?” with just your eyes? L just so happens to tell the funniest jokes during chemistry but for some reason they still don’t want to eat lunch with me. I guess I can say we’re acquaintances.

A random Tiktok I saw the other day says that the best way to see if someone is interested in you is to watch their reaction when you get into a relationship. I think I can convince a friend to fake date me but will that finally make L realize their feelings for me? I can’t be called arrogant for assuming that the reason why L chose to sit next to my lab table is because they aren’t totally in love with me and they just haven’t realized their feelings… right?

NUMBER SIX:

L seemed pretty upset in our chem class. They moved away from my lab table and I couldn’t focus on halogens at all. I asked them what was wrong and I guess they had failed their calculus test. I offered to help study but L was worried I would be wasting my time instead of being with my significant other.

Maybe I should stage a break-up…

NUMBER SEVEN:

I officially ended my ‘relationship’ and L and I have been spending more time together. I find them in the same spot at lunch everyday and they seem to be nicer than usual. L is always asking me how I feel and if I’m okay. I can’t actually answer with the truth seeing as that I have never been happier, so I just tell them I’m “getting by”.

NUMBER EIGHT:

My plan worked. Those study dates turned into real dates and I get to see more of L’s smile. They're so blunt, it’s hilarious at times and frightening at others. I think I’m starting to understand them better though, so that fear of rejection isn’t too crushing anymore.

I can’t but feel a little happy when L gets annoyed over someone asking for my number. Still, I could have avoided making a clown of myself earlier if I had just spoken to them about my feelings.

NUMBER NINE:

Watching L get mad when I don’t call them my girlfriend is so entertaining.

I finally worked up the nerve to ask them out officially even though I still thought they hated me only to be surprised when they said yes.

NUMBER TEN:

I need to hide this better. I found L’s list but if they  ever find mine I will actually get bullied by my own girlfriend. I’ll just let them keep on thinking that I “have the brightest smile” and not out myself as an embarrassing mess.

 

---

            Despite being outgoing and social, people can still have fears that others deem impossible like being too shy to confess their feelings. The fear of rejection can cause people to bend backwards and do summersaults to avoid and I should know, I’ve been there. So many situations I’ve been involved in that have ended negatively were the direct result of not being brave enough to voice my own feelings despite being known as a chatterbox. If you’ve learned anything from this I hope it’s to not be like Q who was constantly making a fool out of himself, and instead to be brave in all that you do and say. It’s your life at the end of the day, you should live it as you like.