She’s lost control of her mind again, feels it decaying as her anxieties, the pressures of perfection, neglect and the cruel words consume her soul. Sits with her back on the door because anytime she invites someone in, they take advantage of her vulnerability and taint her worth. Her lies beginning to burn her throat, her smile cracking her cheeks pretending to be fine to spare your worry. How strange it is to feel sane when stability constantly fades to a state of confusion since the voices in her head have become far too exhausting to comprehend. Destroyed herself working endlessly to please others seeking their validation, but it was never enough and now she’s left isolated... struggling to mend the repercussions. Emotions and feelings suppressed so deeply that she feels nothing at all; because at least being comfortably numb can silence the chaos. With no motivation to escape these four white walls, she became blind to the vibrance of life and found solace in the simplicity of black and white. Grown tired of seeking help in escaping the restless nights where it feels like someone is strangling her lungs and she can’t seem to catch her breath, escaping the weight of her worries that become so heavy the room begins to spin, escaping screaming insecurities who shatter moments of triumph, escaping herself. However, self destruction was close enough to escaping. Her knees on the cold bathroom floor, spitting out the toxins society brings in order to feel happily empty. Sin sitting in between her lips, breathing in unfamiliar feelings that transcend her to infinite bliss. Swimming in the comics of her once colorless mind, sinking into the colors of the sky derived from this temporary deceit. She lays in the comfort of forever, where her anxieties are simply aspects of matter and her worries are carried off her shoulders. She prefers to indulge in this luxurious experience where her insecurities fade away and her pain alleviates within her euphoric delirium.
Staring within the infinite reflection, the girl in the mirror holds a familiar face that she can no longer recognize. I’m sorry I lost you to the ferocity of the world and couldn’t save your brilliant mind from becoming infested. I’m sorry people took your compassionate heart as an open invitation for manipulation. It killed me watching people ignore the aspirations that gracefully left your lips, causing your radiant smile to fade. I miss your diligence as you worked relentlessly to achieve your goals that others disregarded as far-fetched dreams. I ache to hear a room filled with your contagious laughter that was always way too loud, but never failed to leave people smiling. Miss the way your presence beamed with an irreplaceable spirit that held the purest intentions. Oh what I’d do to see the world through your luminous, optimistic eyes again. The lengths I’d go to watch them glow with a childlike spark that once desired to explore the beauties within the world. With time, it will be okay; you will find your once curious mind, your tender heart, your vibrant spirit, and your divine soul. With patience and strength we will meet again my love.
Wow, I feel like you truly captured and personified the person of anxiety and how if left unchecked can absolutely consume your mind and body.. this literary work is something I think everyone who reads, can relate to in some way. You are such a gifted writer by the way, your word choice was literally flawless,I would love to read a book just based on this one piece haha!
ReplyDeletewow Luvly the words you used in this piece were so... mesmerizing. It was so beautifully written I am almost overlooked the pain and tragedy they were describing which really amazed me. I loved your descriptions because they kept me so captivated and I really enjoyed reading this because of how realistic it was yet the way it was written felt so dreamy at the same time if that makes sense haha :)
ReplyDeleteThat feeling when you don't know yourself anymore because you've been trying to be someone else to fit in with society. This story made me look back on my childhood and how I wasn't afraid to say what I wanted to say or tell people my interests without fear of getting judged. But now, I'm often wary of what people think and I don't feel as free and open. Sometimes I do wish I was like the 'me' back then. Thank you for sharing this story, it really made me think about my life.
ReplyDeleteI like the way you used figurative language in the blog. -Malachi Hawkins
ReplyDeleteI realy, really loved this piece because I feel like it really captured what living with anxiety is like, and made me feel like I am not the only one when I feel like this.
ReplyDeleteWilliam James Smith III: This is a very well written piece of anxiety, reflecting on feeling, rather than just fact. I last weekend watched a TED Talk from Jim Kwik, about how to learn faster. He talked about a balance between logic and emotion, as we are biological creatures. This meant that in order to learn well, we needed no overwhelming amount of either, as something we learn well is both informational and inspirational, but with too much emotion, we can't think only logically, therefore making us mentally vulnerable, as our survival method has been intelligence, as we are physically out classed by most creatures. When we are only thinking logically, we can't really learn very well, as we don't have anything to remember that learning by, like in a song, in a life experience, or words that have lots of imagery to give us something to remember.
ReplyDeleteThe hard part about helping folks like this is finding a particular balance, which this person definitely lacks, as now that I think about it, we aren't actually that vulnerable to much of anything for the most part with our technology and government. Most diseases can be cured, or vaccinated. We aren't hunted and physically attacked nearly as much as we used to be. We for the most part are in very little physical danger, but somehow, we still feel vulnerable. We can still be mentally hurt, which can impair our function, potentially more than a physical injury. This is what makes us human. We rely on the biological balance of emotion and logic to learn most efficiently, and therefore, feel less vulnerable. Hopefully, we can understand the brain better and better to scientifically learn how to not feel vulnerable via letting others opinions hurt you, because they really can't if you know how to respond properly to the stimulus.
Luvly, this is awesome! Your portrayal of the situation is SO descriptive and you used the right language to explain the temporary bliss the character experienced. All of these feelings are so true and relevant in many people today, and you were able to speak to the lives of the many who feel like this daily. Loved it! Thank you for this!
ReplyDeleteLuvly, this is awesome! Your portrayal of the situation is SO descriptive and you used the right language to explain the temporary bliss the character experienced. All of these feelings are so true and relevant in many people today, and you were able to speak to the lives of the many who feel like this daily. Loved it! Thank you for this!
DeleteThis is such an amazing piece and I love how you described how anxiety and society can affect one and their thoughts with such great detail and emotion. I was able to really feel and understand how she was feeling because of how realistic and great you're writing is.
ReplyDeleteThis was so amazing to read. I love how you talked about things that many teens struggle with today and how society puts pressure on teens affecting the way they think. Overall, your writing was very deep and truly amazing. Great job!
ReplyDeleteThis piece was amazing! It will connect on so many levels with others who also deal with anxiety and stress and make it easier for people to ask for help on the issue of anxiety and find ways to better themselves mentally. Really great job!
ReplyDeleteLuvly, I can't put into words the emotions I felt reading this. You already know I think you write beautifully. You were so descriptive and it was easy to understand. You put into words the true emotions of what it's like to want to escape from internal struggles. Society can be toxic but you are a light in this world. -Andrea Cazares
ReplyDeleteThis was so powerful to me & Im sure to many other people too! This really resonates with a lot of people who tend to lose themselves & become almost unrecognizable in day to day life. You wrote it so swiftly, I could read it over and over again.
ReplyDeleteThis piece was absolutely great. The diction you chose only helped to convey the emotions I saw you trying to convey: pain so powerful it brings delirium and noise so loud it all fades into silence. It was truly excellent. I love how you divided it into two parts, one from an outsider's point of view, and one from a caring, personal figure who is only trying to look out for the struggling character. Magnificent.
ReplyDeleteWow, I loved this! I think adults always assume we’re always perfectly okay and don’t understand what we’re going through, but this does a perfect job of explaining what teens struggle with throughout their everyday lives. It definitely made me feel heard.
ReplyDeleteLuvly this was amazing. I love all your adjectives and how they paint a picture for the reader. I could feel the loss and the grief. Overall it was phenomenal. Great job!
ReplyDeleteThis piece is an absolute masterpiece. Through your poetic lines you perfectly embodied the way anxiety cripples the mind and leaves a person feeling helpless.This is a very powerful piece and I have to admit that I have read it multiple times in this one sitting! This is beautiful Luvly!
ReplyDeleteLuvly I love this so much !! This is something that so many people struggle with and I'm so glad you shared !
ReplyDelete-Seyi Alli
Luvly! This is amazing! Your word choice was perfect and put together what you're trying to convey perfectly. This is definitely one of my favorite pieces I've read this year.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful! Your diction is so elaborate and eloquent, easily demonstrating a feeling that resonates through the minds and hearts of many, many others. It's easy to lose yourself when you put on a different mask for different people to like you, and you created a piece that completely and totally encapsulates that and its effect on someone.
ReplyDeleteWOW this was soo good! you described everything so well it felt so realistic. You really embodied what living with anxiety feels like... it was just AMAZING
ReplyDeleteThis piece was absolutely amazing, the use of emotion and your word choice really ties together the overall message of this. Sadly, anxiety is something many people have to deal on a day to day basis and you really highlighted what the mind experiences when dealing with it. Great work!
ReplyDeleteYour word choice throughout the the entire piece was amazing in how it describes anxiety and how damaging it is to someone, and it really helped in having readers fully understand what kind of pain the speaker was going through.
ReplyDeleteThis was a great piece. It was interesting to see how you conversed about what certain harships and struggles people could be going through. Your diction and word choice was great and the essay was nice.
ReplyDeleteThis was a great piece. It was interesting to see how you conversed about what certain harships and struggles people could be going through. Your diction and word choice was great and the essay was nice.
ReplyDeleteI must say, you got quite the way with words! I was engaged the entire time while reading your piece, and I was able to picture the emotions that you conveyed, such as anxiety. My favorite part was when you wrote "With no motivation to escape these four white walls." That was a very good way of using imagery to support your message. Thank you for sharing such a personal and profound piece.
ReplyDeleteI loved this. It was such a relatable and personal reflection that brings to mind the cruelty of the world that we all prefer to ignore, it was beautifully written and your words seemed to find a way right to the deepest part of my being. Very well written, and thank you for writing it!
ReplyDeleteWow, your story for some reason reminded me of le petit prince, this was so thoughtful, and I completely relate to your friend's struggles!
ReplyDeleteThis piece is so beautifully written. Its amazing the amount of emotion i felt after reading your work. I loved how to brought attention to a topic that most grown ups don't notice or choose not to acknowledge.
ReplyDeleteGreat Work! Complex dection and vocabulary to describe people struggles that they may be going through. Very unique and interesting work.
ReplyDeleteThis was so amazing. You really captured how most teens feel, and how it needs to be talked about more. The idea of trying to be perfecta and losing yourself trying to do so is such a struggle many people are dealing with, and you did a great job describing it in a way everyone can understand.
ReplyDeleteThis is an amazing piece you've created, I think you fully captivated the feelings of anxiety and betrayal with your articulate descriptions. Using a third person perspective to demonstrate to the effects of anxiety really helps make your writing relatable and immersive. Truly Remarkable!
ReplyDeleteYour word choice and your imagery are so powerful, I couldn't help from tearing up. Reading this felt as though I was peering into my own soul, and as if you were able to put my own feelings into words better than I ever even could. I may be wrong, but I assume the second paragraph is you symbolically mourning the death of your old, carefree self. I feel as though anxiety and other mental illnesses are often romanticized or watered-down, so I love how raw and genuine your writing was. This is definitely my favorite blog entry that I've read so far :)
ReplyDeleteThis is so good luvly!!! I love how well you describe what goes on in some peoples heads when they are not in the best place. You perfectly portrayed what it’s like to not have the naive positive disposition anymore. - Leah Thompson
ReplyDeleteThis is so good luvly!!! I love how well you describe what goes on in some peoples heads when they are not in the best place. You perfectly portrayed what it’s like to not have the naive positive disposition anymore. - Leah Thompson
ReplyDeleteSuch a beautifully written piece. I feel like many people can relate to this. This was so moving, I was getting teary eyed. You did an amazing job.
ReplyDeleteLuvly, the writing of your piece flowed effortlessly as I read it. Everything was extraordinarily coordinated, and also beautiful. It is amazing how much sentiment you were able to put in your work. I especially love the choice of metaphors and imagery throughout to further envelop the reader, as well as capture all emotion. Amazing piece.
ReplyDelete- Dianna Villasenor
I absolutely love the way you made me feel apart of your story just by the vivid imagery and your diction. This felt so vulnerable from you.
ReplyDeleteThis is an incredible work Luvly! I've always enjoyed your writing but this mesmerizing piece is a great glimpse into what it means to feel the emotions displayed in the piece. The word choice and your third-to-first person transition from the first to the second paragraph are really jaw-dropping. Loved reading this!
ReplyDelete-Evan Nguyen (P1)
Luvly, WOW. Your writing is so beautiful and your ability to capture such deep and personal emotion in every sentence was incredibly captivating. Looking at yourself in the mirror and realizing how different you are, and even worse, preferring the numbness to the chaos that pains you is heartbreaking in its own way. I also loved that your ending statement wasn't just hoping things will get better on their own, but more of a promise to meet your old self once more. Beautifully written. - Estella Poirier :)
ReplyDeleteI feel like saying I relate to this is an understatement. The way you articulated this feeling of loss was beautiful. Thank you for sharing that with us.
ReplyDelete- Neema Muteti