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Sunday, November 29, 2020

"On the Strength of Community" by Jonathan R.


I recall waking up crusty-eyed at 6:45 in the morning and getting in the car with my likewise tired mother for an hour-long drive to the city of Orange. Awaiting me there was the first rehearsal of three ending in an eventual concert that would take up a three day period. Surely a short experience, but one of the most profound in my life.

 

Arriving at the hotel lobby and being led away to a cozy, warm conference room amid the cold rain of late January had most assuredly made me feel as if I was some noble or member of royalty. Such indulgent thoughts were especially bound to occur considering I was only in the eighth grade at this point. The most shocking of sights to behold was the sheer amount of musicians gathering together in this single area. This collective ensemble was by far the largest that I had ever performed with, totaling at around 150 players. Most of the other musicians there had appeared either quite laid-back or indifferent, but I was bright-eyed in anticipation for this was my first time to participate in an “honor” ensemble. From the moment I had first set up my instrument to the instant I set the reed upon my lower lip, I was overwhelmed by a grand sense of awe and intimidation. Yet all of these worrying fears and anxieties would instantly wither away the moment I and those 149 other musicians played but a single note together. Never before had I been so emotionally moved and transfixed playing with an ensemble, let alone simply warming

up with one. It was the combination of pure joy in collaborating with all these wonderful, passionate, and extraordinarily talented people with the immense feeling of appreciation I had in being accepted that had truly demonstrated to me what an “honor” ensemble meant.

Far beyond the consolidated idea that it was simply a big band with good players in it, the idea of an “honor” ensemble represented to me the great luxury that is celebrating your love for something with a collective of like-minded individuals. To have been able to immerse myself in a love for an art and to have the opportunity to do so with a large community of equally determined people was the highest privilege I could have ever received. How beautiful it was to experience this near divine feeling of belonging and home performing with these musicians. Perhaps they had felt the same, perhaps they had not. The only established fact was that the same individuals whom I witnessed in that ensemble on that chilly January day in 2017 had appeared every year thereafter in similar ensembles at the beginning of each year. It would be most reasonable to assume that a very similar sense of community and welcome was what guided them back to those rehearsal rooms. Although I had only ever experienced this intense feeling of togetherness playing in an ensemble, I do not doubt the significance of this drive in every other realm of artistry or hobby. Of course this is not without consideration to the personal side of such interests. Men and women are forever welcome to learn the piano only to ever perform for oneself in the solidarity of their household or to play basketball alone on their backyard half-court, but none of these partakings in crafts will triumph the sense of inclusivity that accompanies sharing the love of something with others.

The impact of this event still ripples throughout my consciousness to this day. It has been especially noticeable during this quarantine and social isolation. I long for that sense ofcommunity and family even more desperately in these trying times. The blissful sensation of being completely consumed by my music and communicating with peers how we could further enhance it was essential to my getting through the school year. However, there is no doubt that I will temper such a minute struggle of “belonging” with the painful hardships of financial instability and lossed loved ones which other families have experienced. I am no stranger to these hardships. My grandmother passed away this summer from COVID-19, a tragic passing that shook my family. It was difficult attempting to gather a family together that was geographically scattered. It was difficult not being able to be with my grandmother in those last moments. It was difficult seeing my dad so melancholy and empty in his mourning. Without surprise the few moments of solace came when my family nostalgically reminisced over long ago events. We’d share fragments of joy recollected from the farthest reaches of our memory, so minute in occurrence yet so heartwarming and fulfilling to think about. Surely this was no gathering of musicians nor any collaboration of hobbyists, but the togetherness we had as a family, regardless of political or ideological differences, allowed us to celebrate the life of a loved one and find comfort in one another. We have all struggled through this year and the struggles endured today will be the struggles endured for months to come, but when all the vigor of positivity and hope is lost amid a sea of troubles, find the community, no matter how big or small, no matter if it is of family or of friends or strangers, that allows you to undeniably and unapologetically be you. You can place all your trust in the knowledge that something will be rekindled from it that will allow you to continue on your journey once again.

11 comments:

  1. First of all you are an incredible writer your diction and word choice is amazing! Secondly, my heart goes out to you, I lost a close family member during Covid as well, but you're right, leaning on other people around you is crucial!

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  2. Excellent piece! I loved your vivid descriptions of your feelings towards your art and the feeling of belonging you felt with the ensemble. I also loved how you compared your family gathering to this gathering of musicians as it send more about how you felt like the like minded people were so in tune with you that you felt almost the same than if they were your family. Beautiful piece again. Im sorry for your loss but it will get better. Good vibes and best of luck to you.

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  3. I really love your writing style, and how you used imagery to illustrate your emotions in that ensemble. The way you explained how that experience influenced your beliefs on community was inspiring and motivating, and it was made universal with your exploration of other hobbies. I'm so sorry for your loss; I'm glad you and your family are able to support each other through it. This was a wonderful read.

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  4. I love how in the end you suggest finding community, even among strangers. I often daydream about the lives of strangers and the possibilities of them having an impact in your life, so reading your piece (which is inundated with imagery) gave me an even greater sense of being connected with others. Your piece truly gives you the sense that all people experience pain and hardship, yet simultaneously experience joy and awe. Your writing is likely among the first to move me to tears. I loved every word of it. You are so strong for persevering through the death of your grandmother. Even when some days are harder than others, know that you should be so proud for your strength, your character, and all of your hard work. I was never as motivated, skilled, or driven as you throughout band, yet reading this makes it clear that you find so much joy in the activity :)

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  5. William James Smith IIIDecember 7, 2020 at 1:04 PM

    William James Smith III: Great job as always Jonathan! I remember those band and honor band experiences! It is really great to work with other like minded people and seeing what near endless possibilities there are to do together! I have seen you in action myself, as I was also in the grind with you during band practice! However, you have committed yourself to music much more than myself and most of everyone else you know! That is why you are the section leader and one of the best musicians the school has ever had!

    This only exemplifies how you got there! It is about the journey, not the destination. We see the results, but the underlying foundations of team work, hard work, smart work, and sacrifice are really what makes it all possible, getting past the grind and fears, and seeing what greatness awaits on the other side!

    As they say in MER, GOOD SKILL!!!

    William

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  6. To start, I'm so sorry for the loss of your grandmother. As a piece, this was incredibly moving. I liked how you began with an anecdote from your experience in honor band, it really helped to set the tone for the rest of your piece. I also liked how you traced your desires from belonging from 2017 to the present day. Overall, amazing job!

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  7. THIS. IS. MY. BEST. FRIEND. AND. MY. BROTHER. Fu, you have been through the depths of hell and the gates of heaven. You are such a strong-willed individual and a force to be reckoned with, being one of the most brilliant minds I have ever, and will have ever, encountered. Your musical prowess exceeds the expectations and thresholds placed by even the greatest in musical artistry. You are such an expressive person and as you have made clear on multiple occasions, your sense of expression does not stop at that of musicianship. You are such a genuine, emotional writer, an artist if you will, who can manipulate your audience with even a single word. The parallelism was ingenious! I was able to empathize with you and experience the raw emotional turmoil. All I can say is thank you ese. Thank you for sharing such a vulnerable aspect of your life, and thank you for being the writer, musician, and overall exceptional human being that you are.

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  8. Jonathon, you are a phenomenal writer! Everything about your piece is unbelievably amazing, especially the flow of writing, with the excitement of your talents and journey. I am sorry for your loss, though I am also glad you were courageous enough to share your experience. A wonderful job done.
    - Dianna Villasenor

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  9. Jonathan, your writing is amazing! You pick your word choice very wisely and the way you describe the need for a sense of community is very real and raw and very familiar to me. I'm so sorry for your loss, please always remember that it will only get easier.

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  10. It was really nice how you were able to connect different experiences in your life to this one feeling of being bounded together with other people no matter how different or similar you are to them. The descriptive imagery from the beginning really captured the atmosphere of your experience in honor band and left a great impact on your written piece. I am really sorry for your loss and it was nice that your family was able to come together despite the difficulties of doing so.

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  11. I absolutely loved your writing style. I appreciate you for writing something that is very personal. You have inspired me to appreciate my time with my love ones more, especially during these times.
    Amorette Correa

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