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Sunday, November 29, 2020

"Life is Okay" by Isaac I.


To Ethan,

 

It’s been over half a year since you were taken from us. Everyday, you have always been on my mind and you have been my inspiration to push through all of my tough obstacles. I remember the night of May 7th, when I heard the news that would change my whole perspective on life. It was about 11 o’clock, and I was in bed on my computer while talking to a friend on the phone until I heard a knock on my door. It was my brother, and he asked me, “Have you spoken or heard from Ethan at all today”, and I said no and as I said that, he had this really curious and confused look upon his face and he said, “Ok, well let me get more information and I will update you”, and I just said ok in a confused way. After this happened, a lot of things started to pop up into my head, and I felt my heart start to rapidly beat and I kept mumbling over and over again, “Please don’t be gone E.” As I came out of my room, I saw my brother talking to my other brother and as they both looked at me, my brother said, “They found Ethan in his room.”

 

As I heard the news, I immediately fell back to the wall and started to cry and I ran to my room and slammed my door because of how upset I was. I didn’t know what to do, like do I call the guys because some of the guys knew about what happened to you way earlier than I did. I eventually called three guys that I knew when the news first dropped out, they would’ve been told earlier than everybody else. One of them answered and he seemed like he just wanted to be by himself so I let him be on his own, and when I tried to call another guy, he wasn’t avaliable to talk because he was there at your house to be with your family. Unfortunately, the last guy I called did not know about you and I was the one to break the news to him, which I did not want to do. The next day, I went to our church is and I went inside and I started to cry because I knew that I wasn’t gonna see you there anymore and I kept looking around and seeing spots where you, me and the boys would hang out.

 

I could have never imagined in a thousand years that I would get news like this about you, and I never thought it would be so early. Life before this wasn’t that good because we were just put on lockdown due to COVID, and then for this to happen along with being locked in my house and not being able to go out and hang out with you was unreal and horrible. Even though you’re 3 years older than me and grew up in a different household, it still felt like me and you were brothers and on the day of your funeral I found out through my sister that you and me had the same godmother, which would make us godbrothers. I remember like it was yesterday when we played in a pee-wee basketball league for our church and after our games, you, me and a couple of our friends would go to the concession stand and always ask to see if they had snow cones and then after, we would mix our flavors. After those small and interactive moments as kids, we all grew

into young men and started to hang out more and have serious conversations about each other and check on how we were doing and what was going on in our daily lives. The connection and brotherhood between you and me and the rest of our guy friends at church is something that can never be broken and I will cherish it for the rest of my life.

 

Ethan, I know that you were sad that you were leaving your friends and family behind, but I know that you’re happy in Heaven with your grandpa and you both are watching over your family. This is not a goodbye because I know that the next time I will see you is when we meet again in Heaven. I do have to accept the fact that you’re gone and I won’t be able to see you physically. It hurts to think about that, but then again I know that you’re in Heaven with your grandpa and playing basketball with Kobe and telling him many times that you could beat him in a one on one. What I can take from your passing is to don’t take like for granted and don’t wait for the right time to come because we don’t know when our time is up and we are called home to Heaven. I know you had projects on your own and you weren’t able to finish them, but I know that people are gonna continue your legacy and help you finish your projects. I always think of what you always said to your friends and family, “Life is Okay.” That is a saying that I will always look to for inspiration whenever I’m in need of help or when I am ever feeling down. Forever until my time comes, I will tell everyone your story and how you became an inspiration to not only me, but for everyone and hopefully, your story will carry on to each generation. I love you Ethan, I miss you Ethan, and I know one day, me and the boys will reunite with you and we’ll just talk and play basketball and listen to some music and have the best time of our lives.

14 comments:

  1. Wow Issac, I read your story and I am so sorry to hear what had happened to your close friend, but just like you said you will be able to reunite with him in heaven for all of eternity. That's good that you are taking his story and living by it for inspiration and also sharing his story with us. Thank You, this really made me think to not take life for granted.

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  2. Thank you for having the courage for sharing this part of your life. Losing anyone you care about that has been a part of your life is definitely a lot of weight on your shoulders but thing always get better with time. I know it sounds cliché but all things happen for a reason. The best thing we can do when we lose someone it hold onto their memory and keep living the life they would want us to be living. I wish you the best. Thanks for sharing again.

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  3. Thank you for sharing this story. It is extremely difficult to be put in that situation but being able to come to terms with it and push forward is empowering. I know it is still hard, but keep moving forward and sharing Ethan's story. It was beautifully written. I hope all is well.

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  4. I'm so sorry that happened. I admire how vulnerable you are by sharing this and I'm glad you've decided to take inspiration from this experience. I'm really glad you are sharing his story and plan to continue sharing his story because it can spread awareness and it helps to keep his memory alive. Thank you so much for sharing.

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  5. Isaac, I wanted to start off by saying I am so sorry for your loss. I respect you for being so vulnerable about your emotions and this experience. Thank you for sharing your memories, growth and overall opening up about Ethan because I can’t imagine how much strength it took to reflect on that. This story broke my heart but I’m glad you’ve found peace with his passing and I am sure he’d be happy to know that he’s inspired you and many other people. Thank you again for sharing this story as it really shows how valuable life is and that there are people in our lives who really love us. -Charmaine Luciano

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  6. I am so proud of you for having the courage to write and share this story for everyone to read. I can't imagine what it must have felt like to lose one of your close friends, but I think you took it in the right way, and found the light in a bad situation. I love how you said that you will be able to reunite with him in Heaven, because I think it helps other people to remember that death is not as scary as it seems and we are all going to be okay in the end.

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  7. Isaac, I am very sorry for the loss of your close friend. I know topics like this are very hard to write but for some it provides closure in a way when being able to express your feelings. This story was very vulnerable and I am sure Ethan is proud right now. Thank you for sharing and never forget to keep pushing for him.

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  8. I first wanna say Isiah that I am sorry for your loss and you have my most sincere condolences and I wanna also praise for your courage. Opening about distressing times in your life is never tranquil the first time round but I am glad that now you can be liberated from more of the anxiety that once filled you. I believe things occur a reason and that both every gain and loss can teach us something important. You learned to not take life for granted and now you value more things in life, I'm glad you found peace in your faith and I hope you continue taking the memory of your friend with you. The only thing we can do when we lose someone important to us is to keep them with us spiritually. Thank you for showing us that.

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  9. It breaks my heart knowing you lost someone so dear to you, I'm sending virtual hugs and my condolences. I have to thank you for being so open and vulnerable for us to read because its a very sensitive and touchy subject.. I hope that each day it gets easier for you to bare. Ill keep you & your family in my prayers. Thank you for sharing his story and both of your perspectives.

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  10. I am so sorry you lost someone important in your life, I can imagine that it took a long time to be able to share your experience and you feelings. Thank you so much for sharing. -Leah Thompson

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  11. Isaac, your piece was both emotional and amazing. I am glad you were able to share a grieving experience with us, I especially loved the story-telling, for it felt surreal while reading as well. You did an astounding job in putting emotions into your piece.
    -Dianna Villasenor

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  12. I am so incredibly sorry for your loss Isaac. Your words are so heartfelt and full of vulnerability. Thank you for allowing us to experience the emotions you felt during this period of your life. You have given me a new perspective to life and my loved one. Beautiful work

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  13. Isaac, I know that we don't know each other personally, but I am genuinely so sorry for your loss. Reading this made my heart wrench and legitimately made me tear up because I've been on the other side of this situation, wondering how my loved ones would react if I were to do what my head was telling me to do. Thank you for showing me a different perspective and for opening up on such a personal matter. - Estella Poirier

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  14. I am really sorry for your loss. It takes a lot of courage to share this experience with people. Your writing was emotional, but also you opened up and were vulnerable. I think you did an amazing job.

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