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Thursday, February 20, 2020

"Lola" by Nathaniel A



      A flaw of the human condition is that goodbyes are inevitable. People try so hard to
extend the life of others to enjoy just a few more precious moments with them before these goodbyes arrive. For me, she had always been in my life. One of the first to see me, one of the first to hold me, one of the first to love me. My Lola (grandma in English) has always been a part of me, a person that I could not imagine life without. Thankfully, my Lola is still living, breathing, yet struggling with normal bodily functions. I had to say goodbye to my Lola, an event that felt as if she was moving on to the promised land.
     My Lola is quite the older individual, with eighty-three years in the counting. She was a normal grandma to say the least, making me my favorite orange juice shake every single morning, cooking me delicious chicken adobo and other Filipino cuisines when I come home from school, and giving me those types of hugs that no one can resist right before I go to bed. She had lived with me for almost an entire decade until the series of unfortunate events started to occur. Cousins from Florida losing their mother from a deadly car accident. Five year-old cousin from Canada suffering from lung cancer. Family members required care and thankfully, my Lola was the Wonderwoman to many by tending to their needs. Her absence from California was quite unfortunate, however, my innocent mind kept reminding me that she would come back home and that she would continue to be the great Lola that she was.
     Years passed as did the many messenger video calls until the year finally arrived when she returned home. Something wasn’t right. Fatigue, lack of movement, and worst of all, the persistent pain that always struck down upon her was a burden to her and the family. Activity became limited and life choices were no longer a convenience store of options. Nevertheless, restrictions never brought her down her morale. I would always see that same Lola smile along with those same Lola jokes. I was also able to find joy for the person that she still was, not sadness for the absence of the person she used to be.
     These moments didn’t last forever. As she left for Florida once again for yet another unfortunate death, her health upon her arrival at California was at an all time low. It would sadden me to see her try to take a bite of food for minutes without end, followed by an everlasting frown resembling the one from Cocoat the end of the movie. I would even have to take laps around our pool table with her just to get the slightest bit of exercise, clutching to the back of her pants, supporting her, and praying that her knees will not give in and collapse. With these moments, I knew that she needed a life where she could receive care 24/7.
     Just a few months later, she was gone for good, this time not for the care of others, but for the care of herself. She went to Florida to see her doctor and go through her fourth surgery. The Philippines was her final destination as a financially feasible place to reside and to be taken care of for the rest of her life. I said my final goodbye to her, as if she was moving on to the afterlife.
I realized then that goodbyes to people are not based on whether or not their souls are in this world; they are based on whether or not the connections with a person are kept alive. Despite the drifts in our relationship, my Lola really was and still is one of the most influential people in my life, despite losing the identity I have learned to know and love. While she does not live with
me anymore, I still appreciate all the love and thought she has given, I still appreciate that she continues to breathe, and I still appreciate the wonderful person that she is through her care of family and herself. I was never able to see her again simply because of her body changing faster than my ability to travel and the lack of funds to do so. Today, I continue to enjoy the video calls that we do have, and her absence reminds me that I have to enjoy every single moment I have with people, young or old, because quite frankly, I do not know when goodbyes are going to arise, but I do know my Lola’s final goodbye to the rest of the world is soon to come.

22 comments:

  1. Chilling yet I couldn’t help but smile. Food tends to bring people together, and our grandmas are always the one feeding us; a source of happiness. When that joy slowly fades away due to that “inevitable goodbye” it impacts everyone. Whether alive or not, you brought a good point that it’s the memories that carry on in our lives and what will motivate us on the long run.

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  2. Your piece just touched a soft spot in my heart because saying goodbye to someone you love is very tough especially when its your Lola. Great job on your piece!

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  3. Reading this story about your grandmother brought back many beloved memories of my own grandma. I'm sorry that you aren't able to visit her; although you do not see her as much as you'd like, I'm glad you are able to still spend time with your grandma through video calls. I agree with you in that time is precious, and that it should be spent with loved ones because goodbyes are unfortunately inevitable. Thank you for sharing this!

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  4. As someone who just adores their Lola this was heartbreaking to read. An amazing story that makes you realize that this could be my own reality soon. Amazing personal story and I'm glad you took the time to share this story with us!

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  5. This piece was truly so relatable because of the hardships our grandmas will go through to keep others happy. Great job implementing emotion into this personal reflection :)

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  6. What a great and touching piece. Although you can not visit and see your Lola anymore, I am glad that you are able to communicate and still have a connection. I agree that goodbyes are if you lose connections with people and it helped me realize that more. Great piece!

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  7. Thank you for sharing this heartwarming story! I share a close relationship with my grandma and her old age constantly worries me since I know how limited my time with her is despite my striving to treasure every moment. I appreciated the nostalgia of your writing since it made the piece relatable. I also liked how you recognized that saying goodbye does not have to mean that a loved one passes away since saying goodbye can include connection tested by distance. Keep up the good work!

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  8. Thank you for sharing this heartwarming story! I share a close relationship with my grandma and her old age constantly worries me since I know how limited my time with her is despite my striving to treasure every moment. I appreciated the nostalgia of your writing since it made the piece relatable. I also liked how you recognized that saying goodbye does not have to mean that a loved one passes away since saying goodbye can include connection tested by distance. Keep up the good work!

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  9. This piece was so touching due to your ability to mix in such a great expanse of emotions from happiness to fear to sadness. Reading it brought a smile to my face but at the same time, it tugged at my heart. I love the mindset you take on towards the situation, showing such great maturity and strength. It was a beautiful piece and I loved reading it!

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  10. Nathaniel I can relate to your piece as I experienced the same event with my grandma. She used to live here with me and my family, but she decided to move back to the Philippines so that she could spend the remainder of her time with my other aunts and uncles. I can totally feel the pain of losing someone’s presence since I’ve been with her since I was young. Anyhow, thank you for sharing this piece with us! It was very heart-touching and emotional. I am happy that you still keep in touch long as she still here. Once again, great piece!

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  11. This was absolutely touching to read. You were able to perfectly convey such a great expanse of emotions from happiness to sadness to fear. Reading your piece put a smile on my face but at the same time, it tugged at my heart. Your grandmother sounds like an amazing person and you captured such a beautiful relationship into such a beautiful piece.

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  12. Amazing piece! I think that your Lola was a very strong and caring woman and it showed through the way you described her in your writing. I really liked your emotional connection with the word "goodbye" and how it can have the same effect on whether or not they are physically alive but emotionally as well. You mentioned time in your writing and how it was limited and I related with it because I sometimes take for granted the time I have to spend with the people I love and I think that cherishing each moment with them creates new memories that allow us to remember them when they're gone. Great job!
    -Linda Hung

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  13. I understand how difficult it is to see such a strong authoritative figure in your family slowly lose their strength because at times it felt like they were holding everything together. This was a very beautiful and emotional piece you did such a wonderful job!

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  14. Sabrina MusharbashMarch 4, 2020 at 4:27 PM

    This was such a beautiful piece to read! Your Lola seems like such an amazing and giving woman so seeing her go through this time in her life must have been very rough. I really love the insight you made at how you can say goodbye to a person even if they're not really gone yet. This definitely deserves a first place medal in my book :).

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  15. A moving story Nathaniel. Talking of your Lola like that really shows how much she means to you and how influential she is on your life. The day you must say goodbye will honestly be one of the saddest days for your family and I hope it will be okay. You're writing adds to the emotional effect and theme of the story. Beautiful job!

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  16. Your story felt very reminiscent and beautiful in a way, recalling the past memories you had and the idea of the inevitability of a goodbye. It felt both ominous to think about, yet comforting knowing that there is always memories to look back on. Great job bud. -Justin Lim

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  17. Your story felt very reminiscent and beautiful in a way, recalling the past memories you had and the idea of the inevitability of a goodbye. It felt both ominous to think about, yet comforting knowing that there is always memories to look back on. Great job bud.
    -Justin Lim

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  18. This was a great piece, very strong writing overall. Thank you for sharing I know it can be hard to say goodbye sometimes but I’m glad you had a good relationship with her. Keep it up - jaeyeon romero

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  19. Your story was so moving! The message of farewells is definitely spot-on, and I am well aware that good-byes can be difficult, no matter how much I know they are inevitable. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this piece, thank you!
    - Eddie Yanez

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  20. Your story was a beautiful way to describe your relationship with her. I know many people could relate, including myself. I liked the structure of your sentences and how touching the passage as a whole was.

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  21. Thank you for sharing such a sentimental story with us. Every story I have read this month all had sincere passion behind each and every one of their stories or past experiences from a loved one who is no longer with them anymore. The beautiful memories you talked with us touched my heart and I hope that maybe you get to see her again sometime.

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  22. You told a heartwarming story using sensory details and imagery to enhance the details. You also provided an extremely important message that we should spend time with our loved ones while we still have them and not neglect them. However, you made me really hungry when you mentioned adobo. Nonetheless, great story!

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